


Skilled

by wildfrancium



Series: Neon Lights [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Exy, M/M, Medical stuff, Oblivious Neil Josten, Past Child Abuse, slow ish burn, some sci fi elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 46,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfrancium/pseuds/wildfrancium
Summary: Neil has a talent for deactivating sensors that tell doctors when a patient takes their medication. Andrew, a famous Exy player, has a sensor that needs deactivating.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi have this fic no one asked for. Parts of it are taken from original stuff I write and I wanted to play around with some of those ideas in fanfic. I don't know if anyone will read this fic or if I'll finish it, but it's fun to write. Andrew's character might be a little off though. Enjoy!

 

Neil had a very special set of skills that made even the rich and famous knock on his door. His door that was down a dank alley behind a dumpster in the depths of the underbelly. There was a neon sign outside the advertised the Chinese food place down the street and a barred window. The door had the number 10 painted on and the mail slot was bolted shut. It was a rather unassuming door like all the others before it.

With his skills, Neil had to move and keep moving. He was often told the things they’d do to him if he was caught. Cut off his fingers, maybe his whole hand. Take his eyes, leave him bleeding out in some grimy puddle. It was an endless, morbid list.

But Neil would rather use his skills than find a way to fit into the slums. There was no other way for him to survive then to use his only skills and keep running.

His current clients were going to get him killed though. For sure.

Through his door walked world famous Exy players Kevin Day and Andrew Minyard. The feed through Neil’s contacts confirmed who they were, but he recognized them as Exy kept him entertained when he wasn’t working.

“I swear to fucking god if you are not Neil Josten then I am going to strangle you with my bare hands,” Kevin Day said, marching up to Neil’s desk while Andrew Minyard hung back. “I have been to too many dead ends to handle any more of this shit.”

Neil folded his hands. “Model number?” Neil asked. Kevin Day gave him a confused look.

“The sensor, Kevin,” Andrew Minyard said, pushing past Kevin to lean over Neil’s desk. He leaned very close. His brilliant white teeth were perfectly straight, Neil noted. “It’s three years old. That means it’s an AlphaT16. In my arm.”

Neil didn’t tell him he knew where the sensor was. It had been mentioned in plenty of interviews.

“You knew he had one?” Kevin asked. Neil figured he’d had a speech to present to Neil about how Andrew needed his sensor modified or turned off or altered. But Neil knew why they were here and didn’t need to hear Kevin’s speech as long as he was paid in full. Possibly double since they were definitely rich enough.

“He’s high profile. I know who has money and who has a sensor,” Neil said flatly.

“High profile,” Andrew repeated. Neil looked him in the eye. They were close enough that Neil knew Andrew could tell that his contacts were augmented, but if that bothered Andrew then he didn’t mention it.

“He plays better without the drugs. I need you to modify his sensor so that he can come off them when he wants and it won’t set off an alarm or whatever,” Kevin told Neil. Sensors were placed in two kinds of people; patients and criminals. For patients, sensors were placed in the body so that doctors could monitor drug and medication use. From criminals it was a tracking thing.

Neil modified medical sensors only, which he knew Andrew’s was from the model. But Andrew had the sensor and medication as a condition of parole. That meant doctors and his probation officer would have eyes on the sensor.

“I assume you came with payment?” Neil asked. Andrew was still in his face grinning.

“Yeah,” Kevin said holding up a checkbook.

“Show me your arm,” Neil said to Andrew.

“Not out here, I’m not,” Andrew told Neil. Neil rolled his eyes, pushing away from his desk and going into his aptly named operating room.

“Come on,” Neil said and went through the door without waiting to see if Andrew followed.

After some yelling from Kevin and laughing from Andrew, Andrew entered the room and sat on the chair in the center. The room was full of double locked cabinets and various moveable lights.

“Arm on the table,” Neil said opening various cabinets and getting supplies. He then washed his hands and pulled on gloves.

“Why should I trust you?” Andrew asked. Neil shrugged.

“Don’t. I don’t care. Leave if you want.”

Andrew stared at Neil. In the harsh light his pupils were pinpricks and his irises reflected gold. Andrew’s lips pulled back into another grin.

“I don’t care either,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head and placing his arm on the small table between him and Neil. The light caught on the scarred flesh. Self inflicted damage, Neil assumed, meaning the scar from the sensor was not easy to pick out.

Neil placed his pointer finger in the center of Andrew’s wrist and then dragged it down the vein in the center of his wrist. Neil marked where the vein disappeared and then moved further until he felt the distinct lump of a forearm sensor. He made another pen mark on Andrew’s arm and then moved away to secure his arm.

Andrew watched Neil’s every move in silence. Neil strapped Andrew’s arm down and then cleaned the area.

“Are you going to watch?” Neil asked, injecting Andrew with a numbing solution.

“Yep. I have to make sure you don’t mess up my beautiful arm,” Andrew mocked. Neil rolled his eyes and dug the scalpel into Andrew’s forearm.

He cut slow and precise. Too deep and he could do damage. He dug his thumb into the incision and felt around until he mapped out the sensor. He’d worked on the model before, so it didn’t take long to hit the release and pull it free.

The sensor was a small rectangular device, slim and covered in tendrils that attached to the bone in the arm. Neil pulled another light over, turning it on and dumping solution on the sensor to clean it off. When deactivated there was a brief window of time before the sensor would alarm on the other end.

Neil hooked the sensor to a laptop and dumped a gel into the open wound on Andrew’s arm. “It’ll keep you from bleeding out,” Neil said tearing off his gloves and getting to work.

He was fast. Modifying through his laptop was simple, the manual edits he had to make took up more time, but again he was fast. While the new program was loading onto the sensor, Neil cracked it open and fixed the timer, so that it would go off every day regardless. Changing it manually covered Neil’s programs tracks. If the program failed, the sensor would not. Someone would have to take the sensor out and examine it knowing to look for an altercation.

Neil pulled on new gloves, digging the gel out of Andrew’s arm. When the sensor was clean, he pushed the sensor back in and reattached it.

“I’m going to pour glue into the incision. It’s going to be sore and bruise, but the glue will seal it fast and leave no scar.”

“Because that clearly matters to me,” Andrew said as Neil glued him shut.

“Or so no one will be suspicious,” Neil said. Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil freed Andrew’s arm and watched as Andrew pulled his shirt back on. Back in the main room, Neil was paid double in three different amounts.

And then they were gone. Rich and famous and it was like it had never happened.

Neil stashed the checks and went to clean his operating room. He wondered if he’d be able to tell Andrew wasn’t taking his medication when he was playing.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I basically channeled Disturbia by Rihanna while writing this chapter. Thanks for the feedback and I hope people continue to enjoy!

Neil was in a lousy mood. He kicked the door to his apartment shut and secured the double lock. He had two black eyes, a split lip and a mouthful of blood, and a broken wrist that throbbed with every beat of his heart.

He’d been casing the darker parts of midtown for suppliers when he was jumped by three druggies with CAT skin smeared on their faces. He’d seen it all the time in the underground, but not it midtown.

CAT skin was an illegal cream full of magnetics that fuzzed security cameras and the readers in Neil’s contacts meaning he didn’t know who jumped him. Not that he’d report it anyway.

Guns weren’t allowed past the gates of the underground unless you were a uniform. Police or military.

Neil was fast. That was usually his saving grace, but the druggies were from midtown and he could see the shiny foil medpatches with their metallic printing. Expensive and dangerous. Neil liked the slower drugs used by those in the underbelly.

He flexed the fingers on his hand with the broken wrist. It was unpleasant. He didn’t have plaster. All he had were various painkillers and market drugs. No medpatches for him. He wasn’t stupid enough to buy illegal ones and proper ones cost a small fortune and came with a registered proof of purchase for the government to look at when they needed to jack up prices of the most used medpatches.

Neil just finished swallowing painkillers dry when there was a knock on his door. Neil scowled, locking his operating room and going to his desk. Whoever came knocking after dark without an appointment was not someone Neil wanted around.

The gun was old. Heavy and rusted enough to look like a piece of trash. But it worked, firing five of six shots in rapid succession before needing to be reloaded. It’d been discounted because shot six never worked. Thankfully Neil had never needed more than five bullets.

Left hand held protectively to his chest, and right hand holding the gun ready, Neil managed to open the door.

Luckily his contacts registered Kevin Day before he fired.

“What the fuck?” Neil spit. Kevin Day, lit up red by the Chinese food sign, had wide eyes fixed on the gun pointed at him. Neil let his arm drop.

“The withdrawal is really bad and he’d really sick. I didn’t know where else to go,” Kevin explained.

“Buy a damn medpatch,” Neil deadpanned, but Kevin shook his head.

“We were advised against it because we’d register and if the wrong people see what was purchased it could be bad. So we need like old fashioned medicine.”

Fuck the rich and their idea that they were too good for pills.

“We could fix your arm,” Kevin said, pointing at Neil’s left arm. The neon light made the bruising and even sicklier color and the swelling was definitely becoming a problem. He scowled anyway. If Neil didn’t follow Exy, he’d definitely think Kevin Day was a cop, showing up in a fancy, pressed suit and tie.

“Wait here,” Neil said, retreating into the dark apartment. In his head, he began tallying just how much money he planned to get out of fucking Kevin Day. He’d bleed him dry if he wasn’t hemorrhaging money.

Neil gathered what he needed and packed it in his backpack. He put the gun back in his desk and left with Kevin Day. He’d bugged his door, so he’d be alerted of anything funny while he was gone. Hopefully he wouldn’t be in the Upper Ring for too long. There was a reason he lived as far as possible from that area.

Neil trailed Kevin on their walk to the gates. Neon street after neon street. Crowds of the worst kind of people pushing into shops and restaurants; people and food on the menus at both. The walked down a wider street bathed in blue light, the windows on either side showcasing the prettiest the underbelly had to offer. They leered at Neil from behind the glass, trying to taunt or bait him.

One girl suggestively licked the glass and Neil barred his teeth at her. She was subtly asking if he needed help; he was telling her he was fine. So, she turned her eyes to her next victim. Most people turned a blind eye out on the streets of the Lower Level, but Neil knew some who knew walking with a suit was almost never good.

Luckily most people, at least anyone dangerous, would assume it was a sex thing. That was the only reason rich people needed poor people at least. The narrowmindedness of that helped cover Neil’s ass.

The gates were gleaming, mile high fortified steel. Checkpoints were only opened with proper clearance. It was said to be monitored, but with the amount of traffic at certain checkpoints, Neil doubted it.

“Do you need a guest clearance?” Kevin asked over his shoulder.

“No,” Neil said and ran his card through the swipe. The only gift his past life had given his was a lifetime clearance pass complete with no last name. His parents had had enough money to pay to not be monitored. All their efforts still got them killed though.

“Abram,” Kevin said, reading over Neil’s shoulder. But he went through the gate without asking and Neil followed.

Kevin’s car makes Neil cringe inside. The wealth that drips off it is enough to get them killed in midtown. The car would sell for a lot, but the parts could be worth millions on the right market. The inside lights up a soothing bright blue and speaks in a calm voice. The seats are set in a spacious square and are obviously covered in real leather. Kevin sits across from Neil and gives the car instructions.

They head off towards the Upper Ring.

The painkillers are making Neil sleepy, but even Kevin Day could be a secret organ harvester and that thought is enough to keep Neil alert, even though he knows he couldn’t fight back.

“Does Andrew do drugs? Like illegal drugs?” Neil asks so he can start forming a treatment plan.

“No just alcohol, but he hasn’t had any since Monday,” Kevin said. It was Wednesday night. It’d be Thursday by the time they arrived at their destination. Neil fixed Andrew’s sensor on Saturday.

“How many people know about his condition?” Neil asked.

“The whole team plus the coach and our team doctor,” Kevin said as if the entire situation wasn’t illegal and could end with Neil headless and armless in some ditch or gutter. He blinked swollen eyes at him. “We’re a team,” Kevin added as if that made it clear as to why they were all fucking insane.

Neil didn’t say anything for the rest of the long drive. Palmetto wasn’t the biggest city out there, but any car ride was one that was too long for Neil’s liking.

When they got to a fancy condo complex, Kevin handed Neil a hat as if that’d mask how clearly out of place he was. Neil put it on anyway and got out of the car.

The lights were bright and the pavement was clean enough to eat off of. Neil felt a slight thrill as he dragged his muddy shoes over the white stones. Who knows what kind of filth he was dragging in.

Andrew’s condo was on the top floor overlooking the entire city. You could see beyond the upper ring to up town and then the gates at midtown and then, if you looked hard enough, the neon glow of the lower ring.

Neil followed Kevin through the door and was met with three more people. He vaguely recognized the team doctor, but the other two he definitely knew. Nicky Hemmick looked relieved while Aaron Minyard looked murderous.

“This piece of shit is supposed to help us?” Aaron snapped at Kevin. “He’s not touching Andrew.”

“I already have,” Neil said snarkily, not expecting Aaron to haul off and punch him in the stomach. The air went out of Neil and he sank to his knees. “I don’t have to fucking help,” Neil wheezed as Kevin yelled at Aaron. Their fighting was going to get them caught.

Nicky appeared in front of Neil. “Sorry,” he said offering a hand to Neil. In all honesty, Neil wanted to curl up on the foyers neatly polished floor and pass the fuck out, but he let Nicky pull him up.

“I’m Abby, the team doctor. Kevin said you needed your arm in a cast?” she asked eyeing Neil cradling his broken wrist.

“I guess,” he said bitterly. Nicky shooed him into a living room with clean, white furniture, and Abby motioned for Neil to sit. All the supplies was out on the table. “I took painkillers already and brought the xrays. They aren’t great, but it’s a clean break.”

Abby took the xrays Neil pulled from his backpack. She injected him with something that immediately made his arm feel better. He knew he should be concerned that he was letting strangers inject things into him, but the entire night was so fucked up that he was past caring.

His arm was wrapped and the hard cast set almost instantly. Nicky asked if Neil wanted it signed. Neil rolled his eyes.

“Where’s Andrew?” Neil asked.

“Here, we’ll show you his bedroom. He won’t eat or drink and his fever is pretty high,” Nicky said quietly. Aaron and Kevin were still arguing by the front door.

Neil went into the bedroom, turning on the lights.

“He doesn’t like being touched,” Nicky added when Neil went to grab the covers.

“Andrew it’s Neil. Look at me,” Neil said. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to treat Andrew without touching him. From his labored breathing and sweaty skin, Neil could tell the withdrawal was hell. Andrew was visibly shaking and his room smelled like vomit.

Neil’s contacts were supplying him with vitals like temperature and heart rate, giving Neil a place to start. He began pulling things out of his backpack. IV was going to be the best route, and he had a few injections he could give, but he still needed to touch Andrew.

“Get out,” Neil said thinking of an idea. Nicky and Abby just stared. “I said out,” Neil barked, standing up to push them out. The protested, but he locked the door. He went to stand over Andrew again.

Trust was a thing Neil didn’t do with strangers, so he didn’t expect them to trust him either even though he needed Andrew to.

“I can take all this away,” Neil said, softer. “I did it once and I can do it again. Everything I have is non-addictive. It’s from trauma med kits that they use out in warzones or areas that need disaster relief. I can tell you the names. Everything is prepacked so I can’t tamper with it. All it was bought and paid for from reliable sources. I’m not here to kill people.”

Andrew said something Neil couldn’t understand and opened bloodshot eyes.

“At the rate you’re going you could start to have seizures,” Neil added. Threats worked better on people who were afraid to die though. “I can give them to myself first if you want,” Neil said unsure why he was offering to waste precious resources on someone like Andrew.

“Do better,” Andrew told Neil through gritted teeth.

Neil did his best to glare before pulling off his loose shirt. The scars over his chest and shoulders were crude and jagged. Most of them were gifts from his parents, but the newer ones were part of the life.

“Who do you think put me back together,” Neil said. Andrew held his gaze for a long time before moving the covers back. “I need to give you three injections and then an IV and I want to check the sensor,” Neil said, pulling his shirt back on. Andrew offered up his arms and Neil checked the sensor. It was healed perfectly of course. “Shirt off,” Neil said, watching Andrew struggle out of his shirt. “First medicine will stabilize your heartrate, the second is for pain, and the third is to plump up your veins so I can fill you with a solution that’ll flush your entire system in three days. Four at most. I’ll leave you with something for the nausea and fever, but those you have to take orally and I don’t trust your body to handle it,” Neil explained sinking the first shot into Andrew’s arm. Andrew said more feverish things that Neil couldn’t understand.

By the time Neil was setting up the IV, Andrew was watching him more intently. He looked alert despite the fever. He remained silent though. Just watched and with no smile this time.

Neil was going over the medication instructions again where the was banging on the door. Aaron was telling Neil to open the fucking door before he decided to kill him.

Neil opened the door, this time ducking before Aaron could slam his fist into Neil’s nose. “He’s fucking fine, asshole!” Neil shouted. This entire situation made him want to retire.

“Aaron,” Andrew said before Aaron could make another move. “Kevin, don’t let him leave,” he added. Neil just looked at Andrew, too tired to fight back. He was definitely going to end up dead.

“I’ll show you to a guest room,” Kevin said casually like Neil belonged there. “Come on. Are you hungry?”

Neil just shook his head. He wasn’t about to eat the food here and then get a bill later for all of it. As if was, the guest room was probably going to cost him. Rich people didn’t know how to do things for free. But then again, neither did Neil.

The room had a lock that Neil promptly shut. He took off his shoes and lay on top of the covers. Looking at a different ceiling didn’t bother Neil, but knowing it belonged to a building in the Upper Ring did.

But apparently the worry wasn’t strong enough to keep him from passing the fuck out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The things I have planned for this story just wow. I was so excited to write this chapter and I hope everyone likes it. I'm so happy people are interested in this story. Thank you all!!

A bang had Neil rolling off his bed crouching low. He went to grab his gun, but there was nothing under his pillow.

It took have a second for him to realize that was because this wasn’t his room. He was in some guest room in Andrew Minyard’s posh condo in the Upper Ring.

“Wake the fuck up!” Aaron shouted from the other side of the door. Neil straightened. He looked at his cast; his arm throbbed slightly.

“What!?” Neil shouted back.

“Get out here you fuck,” Aaron snapped. Neil rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom. His face hurt and his eyes were half swollen shut. He drank water from the sink to get the taste of blood out of his mouth. He was starving. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and then wiped his hand on his blood stained shirt.

He didn’t need a mirror to tell him he looked like shit. He was beaten, his clothes were stained, ripped, and muddy. His hair stuck up at odd angles and the boring brown eyes stared back at him reading his vitals to him.

Neil rummaged through his backpack for painkillers ignoring Aaron’s threats. He had to pee anyway.

“What the fuck were you doing in there?” Aaron asked when Neil finally pulled the door open.

“Peeing all over the room,” Neil said. “Now what? Can I go home?”

“He’s not keeping the pills down or water and his fever is worse,” Aaron said. He sounded like he was trying to sound annoyed and angry. Neil shrugged, pushing past Aaron.

Only Nicky was in the living room. There was no sign of Kevin or their team doctor. Nicky smiled at Neil, but Neil turned and went into Andrew’s room. It still smelled like vomit and sweat. Neil looked over his vitals and checked the IV.

“I need a blood sample. I’m going to prick your finger,” Neil said. Andrew opened bloodshot eyes. Neil noted that his lips were dry and cracked. “Do you want anything for pain?” Neil asked. He set his backpack next to Andrew and got ready to prick his finger. Andrew just stared at him.

Neil looked over to Aaron who lurked in the doorway. “These kinds of drugs, they are designed to create fever in their absence. The higher the fever the more dependent a person is. I want to check the drug levels in him and then treat him,” Neil said to Aaron.

“Whatever. I’m here to make sure you don’t do something wrong,” Aaron said.

“I need your hand Andrew,” Neil said, holding out his hand for Andrew’s. A moment passed, but Andrew placed his hand in Neil’s. Neil pricked his finger.

He put a drop of blood on a slide and pulled out his laptop. It was really a bunch of computers spliced together and Neil never went anywhere without it. He scanned Andrew’s blood, relieved to see that his treatment was working. But he still needed to combat the fever.

“Have you gone the bathroom since I’ve been here?” Neil asked. Andrew shook his head. Neil sighed. From the way his hair stuck to his flushed forehead, Neil figured he was sweating everything out. He turned to Aaron. “Do you have any of those hydration packs?” Neil asked. Aaron shook his head. “We need some.”

“Then go get some,” Aaron told him like Neil was stupid. Neil gave him a blank stare.

“I don’t have to do this.”

“Then I’ll gladly kill you,” Aaron said. Neil crossed his arms about to retort when his computer flashed.

Neil read over the readings and looked at Andrew. “How you ever had brain surgery?” Neil asked. Andrew stared at him. “Can I take a scan of your brain?” Neil asked.

That got a response. “No,” Andrew croaked. “No more scans.”

Neil looked back at the screen. The medicine in his system was linked to illegal brain surgery. It was just trace amounts and was probably from years ago, but it spiked Neil’s interest. He’d met a few people who’d had illegal brain surgery to hopefully make them smarter. At least that’s what they claimed. They were all in psych wards in the Lower Level.

“I need hydration packs. I need him to start peeing,” Neil said to Aaron making Aaron blush. Neil ignored it. “Once the drug levels drop a bit more the fever should start to let up, but I’ll add stuff to the hydration packs to be safe.”

“I can take you to the store,” Nicky said from behind Aaron.

“Okay,” Neil said giving the blood sample reading one last look before snapping his laptop shut.

“But you need different clothes,” Nicky said finally pushing past Aaron and going to Andrew’s closet. Neil looked back at Andrew. His eyes were shut, but his lips were moving.

“What?” Neil asked. His contacts reading out the sudden increase in his heartrate. “Andrew,” Neil said forcefully. “Andrew.”

Andrew kept mumbling something as he curled in on himself.

“Andrew!” Neil snapped and Andrew’s eyes flew open, unfocused and wide. Neil had seen fear plenty of times.

“What are you doing!” Aaron screamed at Neil, wrenching Neil away from Andrew.

“His fever is making him hallucinate asshole,” Neil shouted back, breaking out of Aaron’s grip. “Calm him down.”

“How?” Aaron asked, eyes on Andrew who was clearly in distress.

“I don’t fucking know. You’re his brother,” Neil said, stuffing his laptop into his backpack, trying to ignore Andrew’s increasing heartrate. Aaron just stared at Andrew. Neil was getting really tired of how incompetent everyone around him seemed to be.

Neil grabbed Andrew’s hand which made him panic, but he was too weak to pull away and before Aaron could deck Neil, Neil took Andrew’s hand and pushed it against the scarred flesh on his abdomen.

“Remember me?” Neil asked leaning very close to Andrew’s face. “I put me back together and now I put you back together,” he said watching as Andrew’s eyes focused on him and his heartrate finally started to slow. Neil held his gaze for a long time. He held still until Andrew was breathing normally. Then he let go of his hand and sat back.

Aaron glared at Neil, so Neil glared back.

“I have clothes,” Nicky said. Neil took them and stomped back to the guest room to take his sweet time changing.

 

 

 

Andrew’s clothes were tighter then Neil preferred. But the fabric was soft and the jeans, while loose, were a thousand times better than his own. But expensive clothes didn’t change the fact that he looked like shit. He put on the hat Kevin had given him and pulled it low.

“Much better,” Nicky said when Neil reappeared. “The store is close. We can walk,” he added. Neil wasn’t surprised. The Upper Ring was climate controlled.

They were silent on their way down to the main floor. “I’m sorry Aaron is so… abrasive?” Nicky said. “We’re just not used to Andrew like this. When he wanted to do all this in the first place we were kind of shocked. I didn’t know it would be like this though and he told Aaron he’d be fine, so…” Nicky trailed off making some gesture with his hand.

“It always happens,” Neil said. “Most people just end up becoming different kinds of addicts,” he explained, leaving out the part where people left him the fuck alone after he did work on their sensor.

“Aaron thinks you did it to him,” Nicky said. Neil snorted. He was always to blame. It was easiest. “Thank you for helping though,” he said with a small smile. Neil shrugged. He felt like he was a prisoner, but he’d always liked Nicky’s personality. He knew all the internet had to offer about all of the Foxes.

Most of it was stats and reviews, but there were also a few glimpses into the Foxes private lives. How Nicky left Team Germany for the American Exy League. He did it to take legal guardianship of the twins at 17. Neil knew Andrew had been hospitalized a year before for a “violent mental breakdown” and then at 21 he beat three men within an inch of their lives leading to the heavy medication and sensor.

“Why do you live in the Lower Level?” Nicky asked. Neil looked at him.

“Less likely to get caught. Besides the air in the Upper Ring makes my skin crawl.”

“Yeah I hate that,” Nicky laughed, holding open the door to the convenience store for Neil. Neil went in, keeping his head low, and made a B-line for the first aid section. The aisle was mostly bandages and cold medicine, but Neil found three different brands of hydration packs. They were usually used by long distance runners or people in areas with no clean water. Well, countries without clean water. The water in the Lower Level was disgusting, but hydration packs were an expensive privilege.

Neil cleared the shelf of all eight boxes hoping it’d be enough.

Nicky paid for it while Neil eyed the security cameras under his eyelashes. Just because they weren’t on didn’t mean someone was watching. Were it midtown or uptown, he’d be flagged just for entering the store in all black. The Upper Ring thought they were too good for petty crime and you could carry a gun in the Lower Level.

The walk back was silent and when they returned to the condo, Kevin was back. Along with four other Foxes.

Neil sighed.

“Hi, I’m Dan Wilds,” the captain introduced herself. Neil shook his hand reluctantly and looked around at Allison Reynolds, Renee Walker, and Matt Boyd. Way too many people knew. “We’re everyone that knows about the sensor. Along with coach,” she said as if sensing Neil’s distress.

“Yeah. I need someone to put the hydration packs on him,” Neil said looking at Aaron. “They work best on the femoral artery,” he added. Everyone in the room shifted, keeping quiet. “No one? Of fucking course,” Neil muttered going to Andrew’s room.

“You aren’t touching him there,” Aaron said following Neil.

“Yes I am,” Neil said throwing the bag on the bed and tearing a box open.

“No, you’re not!” Aaron snapped, lashing out. This time Neil expected it and blocked him and then hit him in the face with his cast. Aaron swore. Neil clutched his arm to his chest breathing hard. That’d been a terrible fucking idea. “You’re not,” Aaron said holding his face.

“I have to,” Neil said feeling slightly nauseous from the pain in his arm. “It’s the fastest fucking way,” he bit out.

“He won’t let you,” Aaron said.

“Andrew,” Neil said. Andrew had been staring at them with hazy eyes. “Andrew, I brought hydration packs. They need to go on your thighs,” Neil said. Andrew didn’t even blink. Neil moved his leg and pointed to his own thigh. “I need to put hydration packs here,” he said and pointed. Andrew shook his head.

“Fucking told you.”

Neil glared at Aaron for a moment.

“I need to,” Neil said. Andrew shook his head. Neil racked his brain for something to offer Andrew if he let him. “How about you give me your hands and I’ll show you how to do it?” Neil asked but again Andrew shook his head. He looked scared again which Neil found really off putting. “Shut the door,” Neil said softly to Aaron. He did without comment.

Neil held his hand out for Andrew. Andrew placed his hand in Neil’s. Neil lifted his shirt and placed Andrew’s hand on his abdomen again. “Feel them,” he told Andrew. Andrew stared at him before moving his fingers across the scars on Neil’s skin. There were thick raised lines and smaller fine lines. There were burns and scrapes and bullet holes. Andrew felt them all, eyes locked with Neil’s. “I’m going to touch your thighs. Don’t take your hand off my chest. It’s only me.”

“Okay,” Andrew whispered. Neil pulled Andrew’s blanket off. He was thankfully just wearing boxer briefs. Neil opened the first pack. It was a sticky patch about 4 by 6 in size and went on like a medpatch.

“I’m going to touch you,” Neil said quietly. Andrew’s heartrate spiked slightly and his hand pushed into Neil’s skin. It was kind of uncomfortable, but Neil wasn’t about to tell Andrew to stop.

Andrew’s thighs were thick with muscle. They could probably crush Neil’s hand if he was careful. Neil took Andrew’s knee and pulled his leg out. Andrew’s nails bit into his skin, so he moved fast.

As quick as Neil could, Neil pressed the hydration pack to the inside of Andrew’s thigh almost in his groin.

“Just one more,” Neil said. Andrew was tense and not breathing. His heartrate was rocketing and his hand basically clawed at Neil’s skin. He wasn’t looking forward to doing this again.

Neil placed the second patch in place and yanked the blanket over Andrew. Andrew didn’t move his hand from Neil’s skin. Neil didn’t move either, just stood there with his eyes on Andrew. He looked exhausted.

“Are you done?” Aaron snapped, breaking the moment. Andrew let his hand fall away from Neil and Neil turned to Aaron.

“Yeah, can I leave now?”

“Not until Andrew is okay,” Kevin said from the doorway. Hearing that made Neil want to punch him.

“So, I’m some kind of fucking prisoner? Gonna keep your trash pet locked up here?! I’ve got shit to do you know!” he shouted, not sure why he was so worked up. He didn’t really have anything to do. He never did. He just wandered around hoping to catch wind of job opportunities.

But being there made him tense. He didn’t spend his life purposely avoiding the Upper Ring to be trapped in it by a bunch of star athletes who were committing a crime.

“Come and eat,” was all Kevin said. Neil wanted to run after him and beat him even though he knew very well Kevin would win.

Neil stood in the middle of the room nearly shaking he was so annoyed. Aaron went out after Kevin. Neil wondered if he could outrun seven pro athletes. He decided that he could not and trying would be stupid.

Instead he thought of all the tech they could buy him if they wanted to trap him there.

That made him feel a bit better.

Until his stomach growled and he realized he would need to eat or die there. Even if he was already a walking target. Hell, he was a walking deadman. But there was food out there and he needed to eat it.

Neil glanced back at Andrew. Something in his chest tightened when he replayed the recent events in his head. The pieces didn’t all really fit together, but he knew enough to take some guesses about the kind of abuse Andrew probably faced during his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit info/backstory heavy and lots of talk about death on Neil's part. Hope everyone enjoys!

Eating with the Foxes had been nothing short of awkward. They were all eating in the living room, so Neil tried to escape to the kitchen only to be dragged back to the living room by the collar by Kevin. Neil did his best to glare at him while eating.

But the fucking food. The stupid fucking food was good enough to make Neil nearly cry.

There was food in the Lower Level at restaurants and some grocery stores. The freshness was always questionable, but people ate it. Neil chose the cheap and safer option of meal bars and dehydrated meat and fruit.

Fresh bread was his weakness though. There was never fresh bread in the underground. It was considered too much of a luxury, but right now his fresh vegetables and grass feed beef was pillowed between two thick slices of bread with just the right amount of crunch and softness. He was so hungry he could easily eat another ten sandwiches, but cut himself off at two.

While they had ate, Dan tried to make conversation. Matt and Renee acted welcoming as well, while Allison looked as if she had better things to do. It didn’t surprise Neil. She was Upper Ring born and raised.

When everyone finally got the hint that Neil wasn’t a big talker, they moved on to conversation amongst themselves. A lot of it was Exy related revolving around rotation order and scheduling with Andrew currently out. Neil started to zone out until he realized they were talking about him staying with Andrew while they were out in California for a Saturday game.

Dan looked at Neil for conformation that he’d stay, but Kevin answered for him. “Yeah he’ll stay,” Kevin said without even a glance at Neil. Neil scowled, considering throwing a tantrum, but he already knew that’d get him nowhere. He was a prisoner.

“I’m going to bed,” Neil muttered, getting to his feet. But of course at that moment Andrew called for him. Neil stomped off to the bedroom. “What?” he snapped at Andrew.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Andrew said in a flat voice. His fever had dropped a bit, but his body was shaking from the effort of sitting up.

Neil folded his arms. “And let me guess, no one else can do this?”

“Nope,” Andrew said. They stared at each other for a moment before Neil crossed the room to the bed.

“I’m not holding your dick for you too,” Neil said.

“Good,” Andrew said. Neil held out his arms, not quite sure how he was going to help Andrew to the bathroom, but he figured he’d let Andrew figure that out.

Neil said nothing as Andrew struggled out of his blankets and then held Neil’s arms tight, pulling himself up so that they were face to face. “Walk backwards,” Andrew said leaning heavily on Neil. Neil moved slowly, occasionally pausing to let Andrew steady himself.

In the bathroom, Neil moved his arms under Andrew’s armpits to hold him awkwardly while he pulled his underwear down. Neil kept his eyes fixed over Andrew’s shoulder.

Andrew sat down with a sigh, tilting forward, twisting his hands in Neil’s shirt and resting his forehead on his forearm. Neil hadn’t been planning on staying in the bathroom, but apparently that’s what he was doing.

“I want a tera bit hard drive,” Neil said. “An internal one so I don’t have to lug around externals,” he explained.

“Mmm,” Andrew hummed.

“There’s also a programming mod. Only available in the Upper Ring and I want a new one,” Neil said.

“Okay,” Andrew said softly. Neil stared at the tile. Andrew wasn’t really touching him, but Neil could feel the heat radiating off him.

“The hydration packs should probably be changed and I can add more solution to the IV,” Neil told Andrew.

“Okay,” Andrew said finally moving. Neil pulled him up and they went silently into the bedroom.

“Can you change them this time?” Neil asked. Andrew nodded, bending his legs to pull the empty ones off. Neil opened new ones, pointing to where Andrew needed to place them.

When Andrew lay back down he seemed to instantly fall asleep. Neil spent a moment watching him. Without Neil’s help, he probably would have survived. Most people did and even with his raging fever, the drugs would have eventually worked their way out of his system. But looking at the change in less than forty-eight hours made Neil proud in a way. He was damn good at what he did, even if he wasn’t particularly generous in helping with the recovery part.

He shut Andrew’s door behind him, making all the Foxes look at him. They all stared at him and he stared back. Neil noticed Nicky holding Aaron in his seat.

“I’m going to bed,” Neil said again. He needed to shower. “No one bother me.”

 

 

The shower pounded into Neil’s back with enough pressure to work out age old stress and knots. He took more medicine for the throbbing in his wrist and face, and then fell into bed. He barely had time to pull the blanket over his head before he was out.

 

 

Neil had to help Andrew to the bathroom three more times before Andrew seemed steady enough to venture on his own. Which meant Neil’s precious sleep was constantly being interrupted.

He yawned, leaning against the bedpost and watching Andrew drink water and eat some toast. The medicine had gone down, so Aaron had brought his brother some food. Andrew turned up his nose at the toast first until Kevin said he’d go out and get him popsicles.

“Brat,” Neil muttered with a yawn as Kevin grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him out of the room. Apparently, Neil needed at least one change of clothes since he’d be staying through the weekend. That’s what Dan had insisted anyway.

“Come on,” Kevin said ushering Neil out the front door with Nicky. Nicky was tagging along because he was tired of being cooped up in Andrew’s condo.

“Why do you do it then?” Neil asked. “Just go home.”

“He’s family,” Nicky said with a shrug. “And useless when he’s sick. The only one more useless than Andrew is Aaron,” Nicky said with a small laugh. “You’ve seen Aaron. He probably doesn’t even realize how concerned he’s being. This is a rare moment,” Nicky explained. “Most of the time they’re in their own worlds.”

Neil nodded dumbly as they climbed into Kevin’s car. It wasn’t too late, just past ten at night, and they were headed to a 24 store in Uptown. Kevin had asked if that was okay as if Neil spent more than three dollars on clothes.

“God Kevin,” Nicky muttered. “I always manage to almost forget you’re one of the highest paid Exy players.” Kevin shrugged and gave the car instructions.

Neil had done the math in his head before. If Neil did five sensor jobs in a week at his normal cost rate, he’d make as much as Kevin Day made in three days. Neil had never been hurting for cash, but to have even more than he had? He really wouldn’t know what to do with it.

“I don’t care about the money. Andrew bought the car,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, yeah I’ve heard the I’ve gotta protect Kevin speech plenty of times,” Nicky said. Neil found that bit of information interesting.

“From what?” he asked boldly. Both of them raised their eyebrows as if Neil was asking if the sun was out. “What?” he snapped instantly regretting asking.

“Just who isn’t running from the Moriyama Corporation,” Nicky said making Kevin and Neil bristle. The Moriyama Corporation’s claim to fame was their creation of the sensor and medpatches, but everyone with a brain knew they had their people everywhere. The class segregation in America? Brought on by Moriyama’s who had connections in the government. The class system had spread to eighty-four other countries in a fifty year period without a single Moriyama in office anywhere.

Neil knew a lot of the darker details. About the assassinations and the hitmen. About how Moriyama servants had “special” sensors that allowed their locations to be monitored at all times.

Hitmen were rich and Neil’s mother took that money and funneled it into ID’s that wouldn’t be traced. The one loophole in the class system was a non-traceable ID. Neil didn’t believe it worked until he saw him and his mother move through the gates with ease. No bells or whistles or hitmen. At least for a while.

They were always found and always had to move. When they had a brief moment, Neil’s mother taught his to deactivate sensors which she’d done for Neil’s father and his men. She’d beat Neil if he was slow or made a mistake. She’d break his fingers and make him do it again.

Neil’s fingers hurt at the memory.

He watched Kevin pull his left hand to his chest. Neil vaguely remembered the news. Kevin had been a Raven then and, while hailed as one of the best Exy players ever, Neil kept as far away from anything to do with the Moriyama’s.

Kevin had broken his hand in practice and even after million dollar surgery, he was tossed out by the Raven’s. And Neil took an interest in the Foxes when Riko Moriyama stated in an interview that Kevin wouldn’t play anymore. Ever. Kevin was set to be assistant coach of the Foxes, but on opening night he came out in full gear as starting striker.

Neil had found it extremely cool and his current favorite team, the Trojans, quickly became number two.

He watched Kevin absently rub his hand. Looking at it now, it was obvious the Moriyama’s had to do with Kevin’s hand. Neil should have realized the day the 2 on Kevin’s face became a chess piece.

 

 

The rest of the ride was silent. Both Kevin and Nicky were on their phones. Neil didn’t use a phone. Too risky. If someone wanted him then they’d trudge through the underground to find him.

Although apparently that was still too easy for some people.

The store was fairly empty. Neil kept his head down, dwarfed between Kevin and Nicky’s enormous frames. People in Uptown could be jumpy and Neil was overly cautious.

Before Nicky could tell Neil to look around, Neil pulled a package of shirts off a shelf and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. He’d already decided he was keeping Andrew’s jeans.

“Oh okay uh underwear? Socks?” Nicky asked. Kevin had gone off to get popsicles. Neil rolled his eyes and went in search of underwear and socks. He didn’t feel he needed to tell Nicky he rarely wore underwear because it was just more to wash and dry. He’d been sleeping in his clothes as he did when he was in the privacy of his own home.

Neil added a few more things to the cart before Kevin returned with popsicles and ice cream. “Is there anything you want to eat, Neil? Kevin keeps the condo pretty healthy, but we can get you something if you want,” Nicky said. Neil shook his head. Nicky looked like he wanted to say more, but instead they went towards the check out. Neil grabbed a few more hydration packs before they left too.

 

 

“I didn’t realize Kevin lived here,” Neil said to Andrew as he adjusted the IV before he went and got at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep.

“They all used to,” Andrew said eating a red popsicle.

“Who?”

“Nicky and Aaron. Nicky lives in a different building and Aaron lives one floor down.”

“Stop telling him details of my private life!” Aaron shouted from the living room. Andrew didn’t even blink.

“Get me the cigarettes on top of the dresser,” Andrew said to Neil. Neil had seen them, but hadn’t been able to believe they belonged to someone from the Upper Ring.

Neil handed them to Andrew who lit up with ease. The smoke reminded Neil of his mother and of his mother’s death. He almost wanted to ask Andrew for one. For someone so rich, Neil found it funny that he chose such a cheap brand and cheap lower class drug. Neil knew the name of three drugs available in the Upper Ring over the counter that would nip nicotine addiction in the bud.

Andrew tilted the box to Neil. “Your fingers are twitching,” Andrew said. Neil stared at him for a long moment, and then took one. Andrew lit it for him. Then Neil held it close to his face and let the smoke intoxicate him.

“How do you know I’m not going to kill you after all this?” Andrew asked. Neil shrugged.

“I don’t really care. I’ve spent my life outrunning death. It’s gotta catch me some time,” Neil said. Death threats weren’t really effective when he’d spent his entire life looking over his shoulder.

Andrew stared at Neil. Neil stared back. Andrew was blank. Neil had seen plenty of drug addicts with the same look, but never someone with a clean system. His face said nothing, his eyes said nothing, his body language said nothing. Even with augmented vision there was nothing but a slight fever and a steady heart rate.

“You stare a lot,” Andrew said.

“I know,” Neil said, not looking away.

“Take off your contacts,” Andrew said.

“No.”

“I don’t like computers looking at me,” Andrew said flatly. No one had ever made a comment about Neil’s contacts. Neil shrugged.

“Not today,” he said even though he was unsure why he said it. He never took his contacts out except to adjust their functioning. When they were alone in the house, if Andrew asked again Neil knew he’d do it though. But he’d trade it for information. “I’m going to bed,” Neil said, walking to the dresser to put the cigarette in the ash tray. He then handed it to Andrew. “Don’t fall asleep and burn the house down.”

“I thought you didn’t care about dying.”

“I don’t. I just don’t want to kill innocent people with me,” Neil said and turned to leave. Aaron scowled at Neil. He had obviously listened to their entire conversation. Neil didn’t care. Bed was calling to him.

He locked his door, changed, and checked his security systems. All still holding.

As he looked at the ceiling, Neil wondered whose bedroom he was in. Probably Nicky’s, unless the place had five bedrooms. If it was Aaron’s room, Aaron probably would have thrown a fit.

Neil yawned. His whole life was a joke. A joke that ended with him dead in a ditch. Neil sighed. He wished he knew how much time was on his clock. Maybe if he knew he’d make some different decisions.

He briefly thought about Andrew killing him. He probably wouldn’t even fight if Andrew said it’d be quick. Neil spent his entire life trying to stay alive. It was always about one more hour or one more day. Life was precious. His mom beat him harder each time they were close to death.

But after twenty-one years, Neil was also so very tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo excited for the next chapter when Neil and Andrew are finally alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Andrew slammed the door to Neil’s room and stalked inside. Out of instinct, Neil had rolled out of bed and crouched on the ground, briefly worried about why he was weaponless.

Andrew stopped in front of Neil. Neil stood.

“Take off the contacts,” Andrew said.

“No,” Neil told him. Andrew set his jaw.

“I don’t like being lied to,” Andrew said. Neil stared at him. Neil was a wet noodle compared to the wall of muscle that was Andrew Minyard. A week of being at deaths door had done little to diminish that.

Neil remained quiet, so Andrew continued. “There’s not much information about you out there Neil,” he said flatly. “It took us six months to find you camping out in our own little city. A slew of different names and backgrounds? Nothing concrete? And then Kevin tells me little Neil has a fast pass through the gates. And there’s only one family with those passes Abram,” Andrew said, a dangerous glint in his eye. Neil knew what he was implying.

“I’m not part of the Moriyama’s and I don’t work for them. I work alone,” Neil told him. Andrew didn’t look convinced.

“Then let me scan your contacts,” Andrew said. Neil realized Andrew probably thought information was being transferred through them to the Moriyama’s. That thought alone made Neil nauseous.

“Okay,” Neil said quietly. He knew Andrew would find nothing, but he doubted that’d be enough. His ID card was extremely suspicious.

Neil doesn’t take his contacts out unless he has to upgrade them. He keeps them in for two reasons; one being their usefulness and the other being without them meant anyone could remember shocking ice blue eyes.

Neil dropped the contacts into Andrew’s waiting palm. Andrew looked softer without the enhanced lenses. Natural light had a way of softening hard edges.

Andrew turned away and went down the hall. Neil followed. Andrew went to his room where a laptop sat waiting on his bed. It was built like Neil’s, but the parts were all at least ten times more expensive.

Neil leaned against the bed post. The room had been cleaned. It smelled like disinfectant and laundry soap. Neil watched Andrew who sat in pants and a sweatshirt. His expression was mostly blank except for the way the corners of his mouth turned down slightly as he viewed the screen.

The information gathered by Neil’s contacts went into a very loosely locked program. He didn’t care much about the information as he usually never saw his patients again and didn’t need to review their files.

“Did Aaron do that to your face?” Andrew asked, startling Neil out of his spacey thoughts.

“Oh no, it happened before,” Neil said.

“I told him not to touch you,” Andrew said.

“Okay,” Neil said. There was more silence as Andrew typed away. “I don’t for them,” Neil said, unsure of why he needed Andrew to believe him. People had accused him of it before and Neil shrugged it off even though those accusations made him sick. He knew what the Moriyama’s could do. He just worked to undo it.

Neil thought about the crazies in the gutter hospitals. He’d read through some of their charts. He’d looked at their brain scans. He remembered the ones who’d just mumble don’t touch me over and over and over.

“Did you have brain surgery?” Neil asked again. There was a slight shift in Andrew, but he didn’t answer. He was about to ask more when an alarm blared from his bag making him and Andrew jumped.

Neil threw his bag down and wrenched his laptop out. He opened his security footage to watch three fuzzy images ransack his apartment. He sent his bug tracing the house. The three people were covered in CAT skin, but his bug would scan them for drugs.

“What’s that?” Andrew demanded.

“Nothing. Some assholes broke into my apartment,” Neil muttered reviewing the information as the bug fed it to him. They’d used a pulse gun to get in by jamming and then frying the locks. They weren’t on anything special, but the CAT skin worried Neil. Using it for a petty break-in seemed like a bit of a waste, but then again they were drug addicts.

There wasn’t much in the office or the apartment. Neil’s operating room had old fashioned locks that would have required explosives to open, so luckily all his equipment was safe. But his gun was gone and that left him feeling vulnerable even miles away.

Fuckers didn’t even shut the damn door on their way out.

Neil let his knees hit the floor. He scrubbed a hand over his face. Would they have broken in if he was there? Probably. But that thought didn’t make him feel any better. He looked up at Andrew. He was looking at his screen.

“I have to go home,” Neil said. Well, he needed to buy a gun and then go home.

“It’s not safe,” Andrew said, meeting Neil’s eyes. “I still don’t know your intentions.”

“I don’t have any intentions.”

“Then why’d you come here?”

Neil blinked a few times. “You wanted me here.”

“Why would I want you here?” Andrew asked.

“Because you were so sick? Kevin showed up and I just broke my wrist and I don’t know,” Neil snapped.

“Kevin brought you here?” Andrew asked.

“Yes Kevin. Remember him? Or did your fever fry your brain?” Neil asked, watching Andrew’s jaw work.

“Kevin doesn’t know anything that isn’t Exy. He brought you here even though you’re a threat.”

“I’m not I…” Neil trailed off. He didn’t need to tell Andrew the truth. He needed to leave before squatters took over his place. “I have to go,” he said again, snapping his laptop shut and shoving it into his backpack.

“I’ll trade information,” Andrew said. “You answer my question and I’ll answer yours. Do not lie to me.”

“I don’t lie,” Neil lied. “At least I haven’t to you.”

“Your name is a lie,” Andrew countered. Neil frowned.

“It’s my name. Just because I changed it doesn’t mean it’s a lie,” he told Andrew. Andrew was quiet for a moment, as if considering Neil’s answer.

“Do you work for the Moriyama’s?” Andrew asked.

“No,” Neil said. Andrew nodded. “Have you had brain surgery?”

“Yes,” Andrew said flatly. Neil had expected it, but hearing that it was true sent his mind reeling. “Have you ever worked for the Moriyama’s?” Andrew asked.

“No,” Neil told him. “Can I scan your brain?”

“No,” Andrew said. “Where’d the ID come from?”

“My mother bought it for me,” Neil said. “Was it one surgery?”

“It was seventeen,” Andrew said and Neil blanched.

“How are you still alive?” Neil exclaimed. Andrew gave him a bored look. Neil thought about all the scars on his arms. Neil got it. He knew how to be dead and alive. He knew how death sometimes felt like the right option even when he was forced to keep living. Neil opened his mouth to say more, but Andrew beat him to it.

“Did your mother work for the Moriyama’s?”

“No,” Neil said with hesitation. He almost added that his mother grew up in a British crime syndicate that deactivated sensors, but decided against it.

“When were the surgeries done?” Neil asked.

“Between six months and two years old,” Andrew said. Neil wondered if whoever told Andrew about the surgeries had been exaggerating the number of them. He wanted to see scans. “Who was connected to the Moriyama’s in your family?”

Neil chewed on his lip for a moment. He could see where the questions were going, so did he just cut to the chase? “My father… was a hitman for the Moriyama’s. My mom knew how to deactivate sensors. When my dad became too out of control, she stole his money and left. She spent it all on the IDs and we ran,” Neil said feeling immediately too vulnerable. As if the Moriyama’s would burst through the condo door and take him out right there.

They stared at each other for a moment.

“I was sold to a facility at birth,” Andrew said and the air rushed out of Neil’s lungs like he’d been punched. He’d heard rumors, but tried not to think about it too much. Places that did experiments on humans? Hearing that there were doctors out there who’d do illegal brain surgery was bad enough, but to know there was a place. A place probably full of people.

“How?” was the only word Neil could croak out.

“It was shut down when I was two and I was put into foster care to cover it up,” Andrew said flatly. Neil wanted to throw up.

“Then who told you?” Neil whispered. He was very close to vomiting all over the floor. He swallowed it down.

“No one. The worked on my memory and it was like turning on a light. I can remember everything that happened after that particular surgery. Every single detail of every single day I’ve lived,” Andrew told him. Neil wanted him to be lying. To laugh it off. Anything.

“There’s more,” Neil whispered.

“Of course there’s more Neil,” he said almost mockingly. Neil thought about the way Andrew reacted to being touched and he didn’t need to hear it to know what it meant. Even without a perfect memory, Neil knew what the reaction meant. How he’d held onto Neil like Neil was the only tether he had to keep him on the ground. “How did you learn to deactivate the sensors?”

“My mother,” Neil said miserably. He looked at his feet.

There was silence. Silence that stretched on for minutes until Neil said, “I have to go. People broke into my house and I need to go.”

“I’ll go with you.” Andrew got off the bed and handed Neil’s contacts.

“Okay I guess,” Neil said closing his contacts in their box to wash them.

 

They took a car similar to Kevin’s. The ride was silent and Neil used that time to look up gun listings. There were some close to his apartment that he put a pin in. He wasn’t walking in there unarmed.

Neil was surprised when Andrew followed him into the lower level. He expected it, but he was still surprised.

It was chilly in the lower level. Gusts of wind blew trash flat against the wall and the gates. People milled about, bundled up and weary of Neil and Andrew.

They walked down the main road and Neil crossed over to take the alley. Neil was glad they both had their hoods up and that meant Andrew wouldn’t accidentally draw attention.

Neil opened a back door that lead to an apartment over a whorehouse. Andrew eyed him.

“I need to see a man about a gun,” Neil said.

Neil punched in the access code and headed up the steep staircase. The place was silent during the day, but it smelled like sweat and sex. The door at the top of the stairs was open.

“Roland,” Neil said when he entered. “I need a gun.”

Roland already had the case out and open on the table, knowing it was Neil when he’d entered.

“Hello Andrew,” Roland said, making Neil jerk and turn around. Andrew nodded to Roland. There was familiarity in Roland’s voice. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Had business to do,” Andrew said and Roland looked to Neil.

“I’ve got a fairly new pulse gun if you want it. Pretty high range. I’ll give you a discount,” Roland said to Neil. Then he turned his attention back to Andrew. “Do you need anything? All my stocks are full.”

“No,” Andrew said, watching Neil look over the guns in the case. Neil wished he could bring himself to get the pulse gun. At range, they’d hit the target and paralyze them for thirty minutes. At point blank it could fry you if pressed to the right area.

He could still feel the way his flesh melted against the barrel of a pulse gun. The scent of charred skin. The way it bubbled. The electricity coursing through him as he begged not to be hit again. The way his mother beat him for getting hit. She took a knife and jammed it right into the wound and when Neil was hoarse, she cauterized it.

“I’ll take this one,” Neil said. It was similar to his old gun, if not slightly newer. No rust, but definitely wear.

“Okay,” Roland said and tossed Neil a phone. Neil entered the payment in and watching the hourglass turn as his money was transferred to Roland’s account. When a check mark appeared on the screen, Neil tossed the phone back. Roland shut the case and Neil stuffed the gun in his waistband. “For what it’s worth, rumor on the market is people in Midtown are selling faulty patches. Be wary.”

Neil nodded, pulling his hood up. He was wearing Andrew’s sweatshirt. Luckily it was black and not some orange monstrosity like the ones Aaron and Nicky had been wearing.

 

The trek to the apartment was short and Neil’s bug showed the coast to be clear. He didn’t own much, but the few things he owned were strewn all over the floor. Upstairs his bed had been stripped and the pillow and mattress had been cut open.

Neil let out a disappointed sigh. He could do without a pillow and hopefully glue would hold the mattress. He didn’t waste money one expensive things he couldn’t take with him. His money went into his laptop and his tools.

He set the laptop on the desk in the corner and checked his email. There were two sensor requests.

“You can go now,” Neil said to Andrew who was standing in the middle of the room smoking. Andrew looked a thousand miles away though. So, Neil tried, “You knew Roland.”

Andrew turned his head and looked at Neil.

“The others like to fuck,” he said simply. Neil noted how he said the others and not we.

“You’re rich and you go there?” Neil asked. Andrew looked at him like he was stupid. Neil rolled his eyes and ran through a few more things on his laptop. “I still want those parts. I kept you alive and all that.”

“I know,” Andrew said. “I’ll bring them to you.”

Neil almost made a threat. Almost said I know where you live, but he could already hear Andrew’s taunting voice before he opened his mouth. _Don’t threaten me, Neil._ He’d say sounding bored.

“You’re staring,” Andrew said, stubbing out his cigarette. Neil nodded. Andrew stared back then he crossed the room and stood toe to toe with Neil. “See you later, Neil,” he said, breath ghosting over Neil’s face and making him shiver.

Neil watched Andrew leave for the second time. He listened as the door outside opened and shut and then Neil let out the breath he was holding. He felt weirdly dazed. The last few days already felt like a dream that he was rudely awoken from.

He thought about everything Andrew had told him.

It was less dream and more nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now let's see how long Andrew can stay away now that he know Neil isn't a threat.......


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this chapter Neil is Super Gay and doesn't realize it. Enjoy!!

Neil saw Andrew again the next morning at exactly 6:33 AM.

Loud banging on the downstairs door had Neil tucking and rolling out of bed. His bare feet hit the cold floor and his hand was curled tightly around his gun. The normal locks downstairs weren’t fixed, but three deadbolts kept the door tightly shut.

Neil walked over to his laptop, pulling up feed from the bug he’d kept monitoring outside.

It was Andrew.

Neil looked at the digital numbers of the clock projected onto the wall. What Andrew was doing in the slums at sunrise made no sense to Neil.

Neil padded down the stairs and undid the dead bolts. He threw open the door and stared at Andrew. Andrew’s eyes dropped to the gun held loosely in Neil’s hand before he pushed into the apartment and headed upstairs.

“Hello to you too!” Neil shouted sarcastically as he rebolted the door.

Upstairs, Andrew was pulling boxes out of a shopping bag. All the parts Neil had wanted and a few upgrades. Neil tried to act annoyed and disinterested even though his fingers itched to put his laptop together.

“Do you want coffee?” Neil asked spooning instant into an old coffee maker.

“Okay,” Andrew said. Neil flipped the switch and it gurgled to life. He briefly wondered what kind of fancy coffee Andrew drank and opened a draw to pull out packets of sweet cake. It was a small, hard sugar and cream biscuit that was added to coffee and melted. Neil hated them, but they’d come with the instant he’d bought.

He dropped the packets onto the rickety kitchen table and sat down. “It’ll take a minute,” Neil said. Andrew pushed a white box towards Neil. Inside were a variety of breakfast pastries and doughnuts.

“Eat. It looks like you don’t know what food is,” Andrew said and Neil scowled. He picked up what he was pretty sure was a scone with jam.

“I don’t like sweets,” Neil said, taking a bite. It was heaven. The scone was thick and flakey and the jam was just sweet enough to not be tart. There was probably little sugar added.

“That’s why I got scones and tartes for you,” Andrew said flatly. He stood and went to the coffee maker. He poured two mugs full and set one in front of Neil. Neil watched Andrew empty six sweetener packets into his coffee. “Do you play Exy or do you just follow it?”

Neil narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“You have six issues of the team spread put out for each team at the beginning of the season. Four years of Trojans and this year and last year of the Foxes.”

Those magazines sat in the little cubby under Neil’s nightstand. He’d been the one to put them back yesterday but Andrew must have still seen them.

“It passes the time,” Neil said.

“Why the Trojans?”

Neil shrugged. “I guess I liked Jeremy Knox,” he said.

“He your type?” Andrew asked. Neil shrugged again.

“I don’t have a type?” Neil told him. His mother never let him look twice at anyone. A relationship with another person meant more people to spill secrets. More people to be a liability. So there was never anyone else. Neil would never tell his secrets to someone that wouldn’t matter in a few days.

Andrew snorted. Neil glared at him.

“What? What’s your type then?” Neil snapped. Andrew took a long sip of his coffee.

“Nobody,” Andrew said. Neil rolled his eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be practicing or holding Kevin’s hand or something?” Neil asked staring at his coffee.

“Eventually,” Andrew said and took a doughnut out of the box. Neil rolled his eyes again and went to get his laptop. He might as well work on it. “I got a bigger solar battery. The one you use is shit,” Andrew called after Neil, lighting up.

“Yeah because to have a cordless charging pack is nearly a hundred thousand. I got mine used and discounted,” Neil said putting his laptop on the table. He’d have to be offline for awhile while he did work, but he wasn’t too concerned.

Neil worked silently while Andrew watched and drank more coffee. Occasionally, Andrew would make a noise like Neil was doing something wrong and it got old fast.

“You don’t have to be here,” Neil said through gritted teeth.

“Let me see it,” Andrew said instead.

“I’m not giving you my laptop,” Neil said, reading the next code to update his programming.

“I’ll trade,” Andrew said. Neil considered it.

“What was the violent mental breakdown they always reference you with?” he asked, watching Andrew run his fingers over the edge of his cup.

“I attacked a kid at school and that’s what they called it. Teacher was some prick from Uptown and thought he was a gift to the shit Midtown school,” Andrew said with a shrug.

“And?” Neil asked. Andrew shrugged, looking at Neil with vacant golden eyes.

“He tried to get me to blow him and when I wouldn’t he started failing me. If I failed I got beaten at home. So, I hit this kid with a chair one day because he made fun of me,” Andrew said flatly. Neil felt instantly ill.

“Why didn’t they medicate you then?” Neil asked quietly, Andrew pulling his laptop across the table. Andrew started typing away.

“I went to juvie and was told to work through my aggression with Exy to avoid medication because as much as everyone loves those sensors, there’s a lot of people against sensoring children,” Andrew said with a snort. Neil thought about it. He was pretty sure that didn’t apply to people in the Lower Level, but Midtown was different enough apparently.

“If you were sold off, how did you find Aaron?” Neil asked. Andrew glanced at him.

“That one will cost you, Neil,” he said. Neil wasn’t used to people referring to him by name. People usually weren’t that close to him. All his life his name had been yelled at him.

Neil had nothing to offer, so he opted to watch Andrew work. His hair was so fair and Neil liked the way the yellow kitchen light caught it; turning some strands gold and others almost translucent. He was dressed in black like he’d been the day before. His cigarettes and lighter sat on the table. The box was slightly crushed and the lighter was a fancy metal one with Minyard etched into the top.

Neil went back to looking at Andrew’s face. His eyes traced the slope of his nose and the curve of his jaw. He wondered if Andrew could grow facial hair. When he’d been in the condo, Andrew had been slightly scruffy, but not like Neil who could grow a full beard in a week. A huge auburn monstrosity that he hated. Aaron had had more facial hair though, so maybe Andrew’s grew slow?

Andrew was staring at Neil waiting for him to remove himself from his thoughts.

“What?” Neil asked.

“You’re staring.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Neil snapped. Andrew rolled his eyes.

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you,” Neil retorted. Andrew gave him a bored look. “You’re extremely unlikable and I hate you. I don’t know why girls love you,” he added. Andrew snorted.

“I hate you too.”

“Get in line,” Neil snapped, feeling worked up. He stood and paced around the kitchen.

“I’ll be first,” Andrew said. Neil glared at him. He picked up the empty mugs and tried to channel his irritation into washing them. He didn’t even know why he was irritated, but why was Andrew even in his kitchen?

He looked at Andrew over his shoulder. He was hunched over Neil’s laptop. There wasn’t emotion in his face, but his body was relaxed. His heart rate was back to normal. That annoyed Neil all over again. Why was he noting some strangers’ changes in heart rate?

But maybe he was still feeling the effects?

“Can you eat without taking medicine?” Neil asked.

“Yeah,” Andrew said without looking up.

“Anymore negative side effects?” he asked.

Andrew looked up and was silent a moment. “I’m okay now, Neil,” he said. Again, the use of his name and it wasn’t being yelled at him.

“My mom beat me even before we ran,” Neil said. “Occasionally my dad too, but he wasn’t usually around. Once he hit me with a hot iron. But…” Neil trailed off thinking about how much the abuse escalated once they ran. If he was too slow or didn’t jump out of bed or dropped food or breathed too loudly.

Andrew was looking at him.

“When we ran it got worse. My dad and his men, they were ruthless. If we got hurt on the run she would make it worse. She dug bullets out of my skin and slapped me for screaming,” Neil said with a shudder.

“I was in California. Aaron lived in the same city, but in Uptown. He was slumming Midtown for drugs and got caught up in police who’d dealt with me. They freaked out since I was in juvie at the time and then that lead to me finding the woman who sold me to a human experimentation facility to live comfy in Uptown.”

“She’s dead right?” Neil asked, trying to remember what he’d read.

“She beat Aaron so,” Andrew didn’t finish, just shrugged. Neil knew what he implied. “I rearranged some of your programs so that they run more cohesively,” Andrew said turning Neil’s laptop around.

“Oh,” Neil said clicking through. Everything did seem a bit smoother. It was hard to get things to run well when all the parts were pieced together and some were older models. He tried his best to have the most up to date programs too, but that tended to make other programs crash.

Knowing what he did about Andrew’s memory, Neil didn’t have to ask how he knew what to do.

“I’m going now,” Andrew said. Neil looked up from his laptop to watch Andrew light up. the acrid smoke was a harsh reminder of Neil’s mother and his scars suddenly ached with phantom pain.

Andrew stared at him before moving to stand in Neil’s space. They weren’t touching, but Neil could feel Andrew’s heat. Andrew looked like he was considering Neil, but his face didn’t tell Neil much.

Andrew reached up, taking the cigarette from his lips and exhaled in Neil’s face. Neil’s eyes burned, but his mother was in the back of his mind. That smoke, the move, was Andrew.

Neil opened his mouth. “Why do you tell me things?” he whispered. Andrew cocked his head.

“Because who are you Neil? You’re no one,” he said which might have sounded cruel to someone else, but Neil was focused on the way his name sounded on Andrew’s lips.

“I’m coming back tomorrow,” Andrew said. Neil nodded, feeling oddly dazed.

“Okay I guess,” he said, glad he at least had warning this time. “There’s a game tomorrow.”

“I know,” Andrew said. Neil hadn’t checked if he was starting or not. He looked into Andrew’s gold eyes. “Bye Neil,” he said and headed to the door.

Neil watched him go.

Again.

Neil knew he should go down and bolt the door again, but he felt kind of cold now that Andrew was gone. His apartment was empty with just the heater rattling away.

But why the fuck was Andrew coming back Neil suddenly realized.

And then he felt irritated that he’d let Andrew do whatever the fuck he wanted like Neil didn’t have a life or more important things to do.

He shoved the pastry box into the cupboard and sat on his bed with his laptop. His programs running smoothly also irritated him, but he used that annoyed energy to throw himself headfirst into the work he’d let pile up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just pounded out this chapter and oh boy this is my favorite chapter so far!! I am screaming about it and can't wait to hear what you guys think about it!! Enjoy!!

Neil would have been glad that Andrew showed up after his client left, but Neil had just been elbowed in the face by whoever the fuck had been sleeping in his dumpster. His nose wasn’t broken, but it was super fucking sore and gushing blood everywhere.

Andrew had the gall to show up at the moment.

Neil did his best to scowl at him as he headed up to the apartment.

“You have no ice,” Andrew said flatly when Neil reached the kitchen.

“I’m aware,” he muttered, spitting blood into the sink. It was dripping down the back of his throat and was making him nauseous. The rag he was holding against his nose was soaked and his hands and shirt were covered in blood.

“Is it broken?” Andrew asked. Neil shrugged.

“Don’t think so.”

“Let me see,” Andrew said.

“Since when are you a doctor,” Neil asked, stepping back. Andrew gave him a bored look.

“I know broken noses,” he said eventually and stepped towards Neil. He held his hand out and Neil moved the rag from his face. Feeling blood run freely over his skin made him shudder. The taste filled his mouth, covered his lips, suffocated him.

Andrew pressed cold fingers to Neil’s bruised face. His eyes were doing okay, but now there was his bruised nose overlapping the healing bruises.

“Swelling, but not broken,” Andrew said softly. He pressed gently. His touches were feather light and still hurt like a bitch against the fresh bruising.

Neil groaned, turning his face away and putting the rag against his face. It wasn’t helping much. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“What if I had AIDs?” Neil asked, watching Andrew wash his hands. He’d seen Andrew’s bitten raw nails and chapped, cracked knuckles. Andrew just looked at him and then picked up the dish towel and soaked it.

“This is colder. Use it,” Andrew said handing it to Neil.

“The blood will ruin the towel,” Neil said dumbly. The towel was ratty already.

“So, get a new one,” Andrew said and yanked the bloody rag from Neil’s hand. Neil scowled again, but put the cold towel against his nose.

He watched Andrew toss the rag and then fill a mug with water and put it in the freezer.

“I don’t have AIDs,” Neil said after a beat. Andrew gave him another look that Neil couldn’t read. Andrew poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Neil sat too. The blood finally seemed to be slowing down.

Andrew set a slip of paper on the table in front of Neil. Neil looked at it.

“No,” he said to Andrew. Andrew rolled his eyes.

“Stop being difficult.”

“I’m not,” Neil snapped. He looked at the ticket again. It was for the Foxes game that night. “I’ll get shanked or shot or something,” Neil added.

“Maybe,” Andrew said. Neil glared at him.

“No.”

“Okay,” Andrew said and took the ticket and tucked it into his coat. Neil was shocked that it’d been that easy.

“Where are the seats?” Neil asked.

“Home team VIP seats for family and friends.”

Fuck those were good seats.

“Security wouldn’t let me in with my face like this,” Neil said although he wasn’t sure why he was saying it. He’d said no. It was done. Who did he need to convince? Himself?

Andrew looked at him. “Allison can fix that,” he said flatly.

Fuck. A real Exy game? That was better than fresh bread. But it was super risky. Anyone could be swimming in the crowds. He could go missing at the game and that’d be that.

Neil briefly considered the job opportunities at the game, and then quickly decided that conducting business at an Exy game was exactly the remedy to get him killed.

“We’d dress you too,” Andrew added. Neil glared at him feeling suddenly inadequate in his bloody clothes.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Neil asked. Andrew snorted, but said nothing.

“And take the contacts out,” Andrew said after a beat.

“No,” Neil said, feeling vulnerable even thinking about it.

“Gonna make sure I don’t drop dead on the court?” Andrew asked. Neil rolled his eyes.

“I’d let you die,” he said and Andrew snorted again.

“You had your chance for that, Neil. Missed opportunity.”

Neil glared at him for a moment. “I’ll go,” he said. Andrew nodded and held out his hand. “What?”

“Give me the towel so I can clean off your face before we leave,” Andrew said in a tone that made it sound like Neil was asking stupid questions. Neil barred his teeth at Andrew in a moment of annoyance, but handed over the towel.

The blood at stopped and face just felt sore and itchy with dried blood. Andrew stood over Neil, holding his chin with one hand and gently wiping at Neil’s skin with the clean part of the towel. Neil stared at Andrew’s smooth skin and his plush lips. Neil’s lips were cracked and dry.

He looked up at Andrew as Andrew dragged the towel over Neil’s lips and chin. He looked oddly calm for someone whose heartrate was slowly increasing.

“Are you feeling okay?” Neil asked as Andrew wiped over his lips again. Andrew made eye contact, wiping Neil’s lips a third time.

Neil watched Andrew’s tongue wet his lips before he opened his mouth to speak. “Yeah,” he breathed, hands moving away from Neil. There was warmth left from where Andrew had been holding his chin. It faded fast, but Neil could still feel the drag of Andrew’s calloused fingers against his skin. “Go change,” Andrew said, pulling Neil back to the moment.

Neil nodded but didn’t move. His eyes tracked Andrew’s hands as Andrew lit up. Neil felt too hot. “I think I lost too much blood,” he said to Andrew. “I feel weird.”

“You’re fine, Neil,” Andrew said, but Neil remained seated.

“Do I have a fever?” Neil asked, unsure of how else to vocalize what he was feeling. Panic was starting to bubble up inside of him. He raised his hand to his forehead, but couldn’t tell. “I can’t get sick,” he told Andrew.

“You’re okay, Neil,” Andrew said exhaling smoke into Neil’s face. That helped snap him out of whatever he was feeling. He slowly got to his feet. Andrew’s eyes raked up Neil’s body until they met his and Neil felt like he was on fire. Burning to ash under Andrew’s gaze.

“I’m going to change,” Neil said hoping that moving would break the weird spell, but it didn’t. it followed him to his room to the bathroom.

Neil changed and returned to Andrew feeling hot and annoyed and pissed off. He scowled at Andrew who promptly ignored him and headed downstairs. Neil looked up and pulled his hood up. honestly, he no longer knew what the fuck he was doing. His mom would kill him, bring him back to life, and then kill him again for agreeing to go to the Upper Ring again and for a damn Exy game.

They walked in step, the wind burning Neil’s cheeks. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets. He tried not to look at the filth they passed on the streets. Why Andrew came down here Neil didn’t know. He lived there and he would rather never walk the dirty streets ever again.

When Neil did look up, he saw pigs headed their way. They were already kicking at those on the streets and wouldn’t definitely harass them when they crossed paths.

Without thinking, Neil grabbed the back of Andrew’s coat and yanked him into the adjacent alley. He moved to cover Andrew and his expensive air when Andrew growled at him.

“I don’t like being caged,” he said lowly; threateningly. Neil leaned in close, he wasn’t touching Andrew, but he did have him caged against the wall.

“Don’t want trouble and you’re a walking advertisement for the Upper Ring,” Neil whispered.

“I can take care of myself,” Andrew snapped, jaw tight, lips pulled back to bar his teeth at Neil. Neil snapped back. Neither bark nor bite scared Neil. Which was probably why he was always patching himself up.

The pigs were close, their laughter filling Neil’s ears. The buzz of the pulse guns sent a shiver through him. Andrew looked ready to throw Neil off him, but Neil needed a few more seconds.

He took Andrew’s hand, pushing under his clothes so that his cold fingers were splayed against Neil’s abdomen.

“It’s just me,” he whispered. Andrew dug his fingers in as if to assert dominance, so Neil relaxed against his touch. Showing him he wasn’t a threat. Showing him that he still had the control, not Neil.

Andrew’s fingers relaxed, he remained tense in front of Neil, but his fingers traced the scars on Neil’s skin. Neil panted softly against Andrew’s cheek as Andrew ghosted his fingers over Neil’s ribs.

The pigs were gone. The crisis was averted and yet all Neil could think about was the drag of skin against skin. Every scorching touch melting into his memory. Andrew’s heartrate was up from Neil being in his space though and that was enough to make Neil back up.

“I’m sorry,” he pushed out. He swallowed thickly as Andrew pulled his hand back. “I should have asked, but I panicked.”

Andrew stared at him, unreadable, but he eventually nodded and pulled out his cigarettes. He turned away from Neil and started walking. Neil took a deep breath and followed.

 

Neil expected to go to Andrew’s condo, not the fucking Fox locker room. The doorknob cost more than Neil’s entire apartment.

“Hey Neil,” Matt said with a smile as if Neil were a friend and not literally a piece of trash Andrew picked up of the ground.

“Hi?” Neil said. The Foxes had just finished morning practice and were all slowly gathering in the main room to go over that nights game plan.

“Should he be here?” Kevin asked Andrew pointing at Neil. Neil crossed his arms.

“So I can let you drag me where you please, but this is too far?” Neil barked at Kevin, who ignored him.

“He’s no one Kevin,” Andrew said and motioned for Neil to sit on a couch. Neil sat and Andrew sat next to him. To no surprise, Kevin sat on Andrew’s other side.

“What the fuck is that!” Aaron snapped as he rounded the corner. He pointed at Neil. Andrew looked bored.

“Get hit too many times in the head, Aaron?” Nicky laughed, pushing past his cousin to stand in front of Neil. “Fuck, your face looks worse,” he said sympathetically. “I’ll grab some ice.” Nicky walked off before Neil could offer any input on his face, so he went back to giving Aaron a smug look.

“I will hit you,” he snapped at Neil. Neil snapped his teeth at Aaron with a grin.

“Don’t touch Neil,” Andrew said to his brother. Aaron shut his mouth and flipped Neil off. Neil smirked and took the ice Nicky offered.

“Who the fuck is this?!” The head coach, David Wymack, had arrived and was pointing at Neil, but glaring at Andrew.

“This is Neil,” Andrew said simply.

“No, this is a problem,” Wymack said. “Get rid of him.”

“Neil stays,” Andrew said flatly.

“Andrew’s suddenly feeling charitable,” Kevin muttered.

“He let that fuck put his hands all over him!” Aaron snapped. “After everything! After everything you let him put his dirty hands all over you!”

Andrew glanced at his brother.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know,” Andrew said coldly.

“Okay, okay,” Wymack interrupted. “If you want blood, make the opposing team bleed,” he said glaring at both twins.

“Who’s bleeding?” Dan asked, leading the women into the main room. “Oh hey Neil,” she added with a nod like he was usually sitting in their common room on a couch big enough to swallow him whole. He nodded to her, leaning back. It was comfortable, the couch, and he was tired. The room was warm and they were going over plays and-

 

“Wake up,” Andrew said in Neil’s ear, jolting Neil awake. He blinked at Andrew. At some point, someone had taken the ice and covered Neil with a bright orange throw. He blinked again and looked around. Allison sat watching them.

“What time is it?” Neil asked, looking at the projection screens. The commentators were doing pregame coverage.

“We’ve gotta get ready soon, but your bodyguard insisted you sleep,” Allison said. She stood, tossing her blond hair over her shoulder, and dragging a folding chair over to Neil. “I’m going to cover the bruising on your face. After the game, Abby wants to redo the cast because it’s all bloody.”

“Take these,” Andrew said, handing Neil painkillers and a glass of water. “When’s she’s done she can show you your clothes and the bathroom.”

“Where are you going?” Neil asked, not sure if he wanted to be left alone.

“Mmm, gotta talk to coach,” he said, standing and walking away. Neil watched Andrew go and when he disappeared, he downed the painkillers and let Allison cake his face in makeup.

The clothes he was dressed in consisted of a pair of black jeans that were too soft to really be jeans, a long sleeve shirt that was silky against Neil’s skin, and then a sweatshirt that made him roll his eyes.

He marched out of the bathroom and was glad Andrew was sitting on the couch, in full gear, as if waiting for Neil.

“What the fuck is this?” Neil asked shaking the sweatshirt at Andrew.

“A Fox sweatshirt. This _is_ an Exy game Neil. Where’s your team spirit?” Andrew said mockingly.

“Why does it have your name and number on the back?” Neil asked, hands on his hips. Andrew looked up at him.

“Would you prefer someone else? Day? Boyd? Hemmick? Or maybe you’re more a Reynolds fan?” he asked and Neil narrowed his eyes at him. “Or did I get the wrong twin?” Andrew asked. Neil scowled.

“I’ll wear it,” he said at last, pulling the orange monstrosity over his head.

“Yay,” Andrew said sarcastically. He stood, looking intimidating in full pads.

“It could have just had no name on it,” Neil muttered. Andrew only shrugged.

“Come on, I’ll show you your seat,” Andrew said leading Neil through a series or doors and halls.

The stadium was slowly filling. It was bigger then it looked on Neil’s laptop. His laptop which Andrew had let him lock up in a spare locker. Neil felt excitement rush through him. He could already hear the roar of the crowds and the scream of the buzzer after a goal.

“Contacts,” Andrew said before Neil went up to the stands. Neil stared at him. Andrew held out a contact case.

“Okay,” Neil said after a long moment. He took them out and let Andrew close the case. He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the light. “You’ve been out of the game for a few nights, sure you can handle it?” Neil teased. Neil watched amusement glint in Andrew’s eyes.

Andrew leaned very close to Neil and whispered, “Maybe I’ll give you my game winning jersey.” His breath ghosted across Neil’s lip and Neil felt instantly hot. He stared wide eyed at Andrew for a moment. Andrew just smirked and headed down the tunnel.

Neil scowled at his back and when he was gone, Neil went to take his seat.

 

The Foxes won 5-2 and spent the entire game leading. It was still hard fought with a handful of yellow cards thrown at each team.

Watching in person, was an entirely new thrill for Neil. It was a high like a drug. He fed off the cheering and the booing and watching Andrew smash the ball away from the goal for three fourths of the game.

Neil had never felt more alive and was buzzing when Abby came to get him after the game.

He surprised himself by talking animatedly to her about the game in a play by play fashion. He couldn’t wait to read the rundown online and compare it to the real thing. He barely noticed Abby changing his cast.

He sat on the couch waiting for the others. Neil was half tempted to run around the room just to get some of the energy out.

Andrew appeared and threw a sweaty jersey at Neil’s face. “What!” Neil snapped.

“Said I’d win,” Andrew said, sitting next to him. Neil looked at the jersey in his lap. The fabric was still warm and damp which should have been gross but all Neil could think about was how it smelled so distinctly like Andrew.

“It was a good game. You did great,” Neil said to him. Andrew gave him a blank look.

“Don’t be annoying,” Andrew told him. Neil rolled his eyes. “You’re staying at my house tonight too,” Andrew added. Neil rolled his eyes again.

“Wow, I’m so fucking shocked,” he said sarcastically. Andrew gave him a look that Neil couldn’t read, but before he could ask, the others started filing out. They were all clearly hyped about their win. Neil smiled politely and congratulated Matt and Nicky. They appreciated it and launched into a discussion about the game with Neil until Wymack appeared.

Neil listened more intently to Wymack’s breakdown of the game, even nodding along. He felt Andrew’s eyes on him, but ignored it. Andrew already knew he liked Exy.

 

Andrew’s group was the last to leave and neither Aaron nor Kevin were thrilled that Neil was joining them. A look from Andrew got them to shut up eventually.

“When can I have my contacts back?” Neil asked Andrew.

“When I don’t have to look at you,” Andrew said pressing the elevator button. Aaron snorted loudly. “Have something to say Aaron?” Andrew asked calmly.

“Yeah starting with are you-” the elevator dinged at Aaron floor and Andrew practically shoved his brother out.

“Guess we’ll have this talk another time,” Andrew said, letting the doors slide shut as Aaron glared. Then it was just Neil, Andrew, and Kevin. “Anymore questions or comments?” Andrew asked. “No? Good.”

When they got off on Andrew’s floor, Kevin pushed past Neil to go down the hall.

“I feel vulnerable without my contacts,” Neil whispered looking at the floor. It had been one thing to have the game distract him, but now he was hyper aware that he didn’t have them.

“Trust me,” was all Andrew said. Neil looked up at him.

“I already do,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if anyone wants I'll be talking about this fic on Tumblr with the tag [aftg skilled fic]. Feel free to use the tag if you want to talk about it too!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so overwhelmed with all the love and comments on the previous chapter, that I wanted to do another chapter right away. Seriously, I could not stop smiling all day. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the comments. <3 This chapter is shorter, but buckle up because chapter 9 is going to be intense. So much is going to happen. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter which I like to call Neil is Tired and Gay.

Neil wasn’t sleeping well. He hadn’t been sleeping well for four nights since he’d uttered the words I already do to Andrew.

He did trust Andrew, but how? Why? Trust was a slippery slope. Neil knew he should get out of town and never look back, but he had no desire to run. He was tired. Everything was going okay enough that uprooting wasn’t pertinent, except for the fact that he’d accidentally started trusting Andrew Minyard.

Neil spent hours staring at the ceiling trying to convince himself that Andrew had tricked him, but it was a wasted effort. Andrew had bought Neil’s trust fair and square, paying in secrets and cold facts.

It wasn’t like the blind trust he put in his mother. The kind of trust that hurt him, but he’d been to helpless to walk away from it. He trusted his mother to keep him alive and she did even when it felt like she was the one who was going to kill him.

After that, it was just Neil trusting himself. It’d been that way for a handful of long years and he’d gotten so used to it that he didn’t even notice Andrew tying the noose around his neck.

But was it a noose? Trust with Andrew went both ways. Andrew could say what he wanted, but Neil could recognize that Andrew trusted him even if only a little. He wasn’t getting Neil to trust him for malicious intent. So, not a noose.

Neil didn’t know what it was. Why did they need to trust each other? Neil was clearly no one. Just some guy who did Andrew a huge favor…

Neil’s mother never trusted him. She said she did, but the back of her hand told him otherwise. He was always the one who fucked things up. Maybe he should warn Andrew about that. Maybe he tied a noose around Andrew’s neck.

That’s why when Andrew finally showed up after a three day road trip, Neil thought he was going to drop dead from exhaustion. Neil pulled open the door, yawning in Andrew’s face. Andrew stared at him.

“You look like fucking shit,” Andrew said pushing into the apartment.

“Fuck yeah I do,” Neil muttered sarcastically, shutting the door. He leaned against it. Why the fuck did he trust Andrew. Or rather, why did he keep trusting Andrew.

Upstairs, Andrew was pouring himself coffee. Neil thought about complaining that Andrew was using up all his instant, but once he sat down he didn’t have the energy.

“What’s this?” Neil mumbled, poking the shopping bag. He pulled his own mug towards his new seat at the table.

“A new doorknob. It took forever to find that shit model,” Andrew said, taking a seat. Neil had almost forgotten about the broken doorknob downstairs and how he’d just been leaving his apartment unlocked for the whole world. He frowned. His list of reasons why he was currently an idiot was getting long. Very long.

Neil opened the bag and looked at the doorknob. He was grateful Andrew hadn’t gone off and bought some fancy thing that would be stolen and traded for parts and sold for drugs.

“Are you wearing my jersey?” Andrew asked. Neil looked down at his clothes. He was actually wearing three shirts, both sweatshirts from Andrew, and his coat, but yes Andrew’s jersey was in the mix. The heat in the apartment was weak.

Neil shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.

“I hope you washed it,” Andrew said flatly. Neil said nothing because no he didn’t wash it. Laundry was only done when absolutely necessary, so rarely. It was a gross habit, but people weren’t usually around to comment.

“It’s cold,” Neil said with another shrug. “We don’t all live in climate controlled paradise.” The moment he said it, he felt annoyed. He didn’t know why he was being so snippy. It was probably the exhaustion.

Neil thought briefly about the bed in Andrew’s condo. He liked the firm mattress and the smell of Andrew’s laundry soap. Maybe if Neil did laundry, the smell would lull him to sleep.

“Because you weight less then a wet blanket,” Andrew told him. Neil narrowed his eyes at Andrew and resisted the urge to stick out his tongue.

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Neil admitted. This trust thing just pulled whatever it felt like out of Neil. No wonder his mother never trusted him.

“I know,” Andrew said flatly. Neil nodded.

“Is the perceptiveness part of what they did to your brain?” Neil asked. Andrew looked at him for a long moment.

“No. It’s a learned habit. Learning details, learning everything keeps me sane,” Andrew told him.

“And the medication, it got in the way of that?” Neil asked. Again, Andrew was quiet. Neil watched him lick his lips; just a flash of pink tongue. Neil was perceptive too. He’d done it to pass the time when he was stranded on some bench here or there. Watching strangers and try to piece together what he learned in minutes.

That was the part he was bad at. He could gather all the details, but he couldn’t put them together. The whys always escaped him. But it was stupid to ask someone why they did everything they did. He’d find it annoying if someone asked him.

“I didn’t have control,” Andrew said at last. “The medication controlled me.”

“Like my mom,” Neil said. “That’s why when she died I chose Exy.”

Andrew gave Neil a nod and slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out a phone and placing it on the table.

“That’s for you,” Andrew said.

“No,” Neil said automatically. “How do I know it’s not a tracking device?”

“Take it apart,” Andrew said. Neil wanted to retort that maybe Andrew’s brain created something Neil wouldn’t recognize, but he knew that wasn’t true. Sure, Andrew might have reason to track Neil, but he figured he’d be subtler then handing a tracking device to Neil.

“I have no one to call,” Neil said.

“It’s for when you’re dying in the streets and I’m not here to scrape you off the pavement.”

“So, I’m supposed to use it to call you?” Neil asked dumbly.

“Do you want Kevin’s number or something else? Yes, to call me. Or message me or whatever, Neil,” Andrew said. Neil could hear the _stop being so annoying, Neil_ laced in Andrew’s words. “Every time I come here you’re falling apart.”

Neil scowled at him. “That’s called life.”

“Which is why you need this so you don’t bleed out,” Andrew said and passed it to Neil. Neil picked it up. It was a simple model that ran off a third party, making it easier to ditch if need be. A phone would be easier when Neil was dealing or even doing a transaction. Hauling out his laptop was a pain and there was a ton of confident information stored on it. A phone he could keep clean.

His mother had taught him to hate phones, said they were only used to track people. She kept one, but never let Neil have one. He’d bought one briefly after her death, but ended up too paranoid and decided to just build his own laptop and use that. It’d gotten him this far.

Neil opened the contacts to see Andrew’s name.

He looked up at Andrew who was watching him. “I couldn’t fight back either,” Neil said, leaving out the part where he had been going over everything Andrew had ever said to him for the last four days. Most of it made no sense, but he did find patterns in his secrets.

Andrew just stared blankly.

“I couldn’t fight my dad and I definitely couldn’t fight my mom… you attacked that kid because you couldn’t either. They all had power over you… but you could fight for others like Aaron,” Neil said. Andrew looked down and Neil knew he was right.

“You don’t have to fight me, Neil,” Andrew said, golden eyes flicking back to Neil.

“I know,” Neil said softly. “I just… wanted you to know that I understand that part. And that I’d never take advantage of it, of knowing what I do. Like in the alley, I’ll surrender to you because I know you aren’t going to take advantage either.”

Andrew’s expression changed for a brief second. There was a moment where his face relaxed and Neil half expected him to smile, but then it was gone and all Andrew said was “Stop being annoying, Neil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, the song My Type by Saint Motel is Andrew's theme song for this fic. lol
> 
> Oh and if anyone wants to talk about this fic on tumblr I'm using the tag [aftg skilled fic] and if people want maybe I'll post some like thoughts? I have when choosing certain words or interactions. Hmm. Anyway, thanks again for all the love and support!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up folks! I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think about this chapter even if it's in the form of incoherent screaming. lol. PS I made myself emotional about Andrew and Neil while writing this chapter by listening to the song Broken People by Logic and Rag n Boneman. So yeah. Please enjoy! I've been waiting to write this chapter for awhile.

Neil sat elbow deep in backways on Roland’s sever. Drones had been hitting the hot spots in midtown and Neil didn’t want the trouble. He briefly considered going to the next town over, but traveling with goods was dangerous.

His medical supply was running low and he had a long week of work ahead of him. Roland was the only person he knew would have good online connections. Neil personally hated online shopping because more often than not it was a scam. But again, he wasn’t about to get mixed up in drone raids in midtown over scalpel packs and suture glue.

Roland’s living room was small. His computer was in the corner next to a dark couch covered in throw pillows. His windows were all blacked out so that he could run projection screens at all times. There was no sound, but they were running all news channels.

“You have a phone now?” Roland asked. The club downstairs would be turning on their neon lights; luring customers into the depths.

“Andrew gave it to me,” Neil said without looking up. His phone was plugged into the mainframe and Neil was elated that it was so much simpler than taking out his laptop and manually coding locks to keep nosy people out while he searched the market.

“Mmm,” Roland hummed from the kitchen. “I can turn on the game,” he offered. Neil shrugged. He’d purposely decided to do his shopping that night so that Andrew couldn’t drag him to another game. He kind of regretted it, but was doing his best to ignore that feeling.

They were playing the Ravens anyway and Neil didn’t exactly need to be in a room with Riko Moriyama. He might not know who Neil was, but Neil knew Kevin and that could be disaster enough.

He had his phone set for updates on the game just incase shit went down. He wanted to know every one was alive and well at the end of the night.

“Do you need anything else?” Roland asked. He’d shut off the lights so there was only the glow from the computer screen.

“No. I’ll set the locks when I leave,” Neil said again without looking up.

“Bye Neil,” Roland said.

“Bye,” Neil grunted as he shifted through stock of numbing agent. He needed needles too. Online dealing was such a mess. He had to know what to look for by reading into the coding of the product offered. He could do a job in thirty minutes, but it took at least two hours to find a decent seller of one product he needed.

Neil leaned back in the chair. He glanced around Roland’s dark apartment, contacts not finding anything useful to connect to. There was a distant thud of music from the party downstairs and if the curtains were open, multicolored light would be pouring in.

Roland insisted he only tended bar, but Neil wasn’t so sure. He’d gone into other houses like this one. Everyone who worked there fucked there.

Neil cracked his back. His mother beat him when he tried masturbating. His mother beat him when he had wet dreams. His mother beat him for looking at someone pretty for too long. She beat him when she found out he’d watched thirty seconds of a porno in a motel once.

When she was gone he just took cold showers if there was any desire. It had pretty much been a non issue though until he had a wet dream the other night.

After Andrew had given Neil the phone and left, Neil had fallen into what he’d thought was a dreamless sleep until he woke up sweating and sticky. He’d come in his own pants, well Andrew’s pants because he was wearing the jeans he’d taken from Andrew, and he couldn’t even remember what he’d dreamt about if he’d even had a dream at all.

It was gross and left him feeling… something. He’d wanted to touch himself, but he swore he could feel his mother breathing down the back of his neck. Like her ghost knew and was going to catch him.

He didn’t even believe in ghosts.

Neil ran a hand through his hair. He needed to hurry up and get out of there.

His phone dinged signaling the start of the first period of the Foxes game. He’d almost sent Andrew a cheeky good luck text to annoy him, but had gotten sidetracked by his search for medical supplies.

He glanced at the Midtown projection. News was scrolling by on the bottom, but the cover story was about raids. Neil didn’t know what was worse; a drone with a pulse gun or an idiot human.

The Upper Ring news and Uptown news was on coverage of the Exy game. Apparently, people were being escorted out left and right for violent behavior. The cameras cut to inside the stadium to show Kevin getting checked over and over. There was a newbie on the line with them offering no support. Matt kept moving out of position to give Kevin a little reprieve, but the Raven’s were brutal. Some of the moves were definitely red card worthy, but they kept going until a time out was called when Nicky got hit in the face and was gushing blood all over the floor.

While the teams waited, Neil noticed Andrew went to stand at Kevin’s side. His back was to the cameras, but it was very clear he was speaking to the Raven’s.

Wymack finally, angrily forced Andrew back into the goal before talking to Kevin. Neil could tell Andrew was still talking to the Raven’s though. That made him smile.

Neil turned back to the screen in front of him. He had about an hour of work left and then he’d thank Roland and slip out. Approaching Roland, Neil wasn’t sure he’d let him use his set up and connections. Neil had expected him to offer to get the shipment for Neil and then have Neil pay him double for it. Which would have been fine as Neil did that once before when he first met Roland. But when Roland just waved at his computer and told Neil to knock himself out, Neil had been pleasantly surprised.

 

Neil’s entire body was stiff when he finished. Fingers crossed everything was legit. He went into Roland’s bathroom, squinting as the bright lights burned his eyes. Most of the lights in Roland’s apartment were purple lights, so Neil was surprised by the stark white light in the bathroom.

He was wearing the jeans Andrew had bought him and Andrew’s jersey over a long sleeve. It was warmer than the thin cotton he was used to and fit better under his coat than a sweatshirt. Orange made him stand out like a sore thumb though.

Neil stared at the mirror. He’d trimmed the sides of his head where his hair was starting to curl against his ear, but kept the top longer so that it would flop forward and hopefully keep eyes off his fucked up face.

He was disappointed to see that the brown was fading on one contact. They were almost a year old. The blue wasn’t visible, but against the fading brown it turned the contact a few shades darker than the other. Most people probably wouldn’t notice, but Neil could think of one person who would.

Neil had thought to cut his hair after seeing Andrew the other day. His hair was neat, probably cut by an actual hairdresser and not a rusty buzzer in the bathroom. The fucking Upper Ring and the way it thrived off human labor. Everyone else could manage with automated processes and robots and drones.

But not the rich.

Neil briefly wondered why the twins had the same haircut. Short on the sides, long on the top. Sure, it was in style, but Andrew and Aaron were already identical. If not for their vastly different personalities, Neil would be worried about following the wrong twin around.

But Andrew also always covered his arms, so there was that.

Before leaving the bathroom, Neil looked at the mural of a forest with a waterfall that covered the entire wall the tub sat against. Having a tub in the lower level was a luxury, especially one that stayed heated. But it was the mural Neil liked. He didn’t have time to appreciate art most of the time, but it was something he enjoyed.

The wall of Andrew’s bathroom had a projection screen with a photograph of trees as the background. Neil had only glanced at it when helping Andrew in the bathroom, but he had liked it a lot and wondered if Andrew chose it or if it’d come that way.

He briefly wondered if Andrew liked art, but let the thought slip from his mind when he shut the bathroom light off.

Neil went back into the living room and pulled on his coat and grabbed his bag. The score was still 0-0 and a Raven had finally gotten a red card. For a moment, Neil wondered if Roland would care if he watched the rest of the game. He probably wouldn’t, but Neil didn’t want to push Roland’s charity. He’d probably need his server again sometime soon anyway.

 

Outside it was dark and freezing. Neil locked the door, turning the corner to take the alley towards his apartment. He wanted to avoid the front of the building and the swell of people. He nodded to the tiny girl perched on a stack of crates smoking flavored cigarettes. She nodded to Neil. She’d been with Roland when Neil arrived. He’d never seen her before, but that meant nothing. He just didn’t know what he job in the house was.

Neil turned the next corner and froze.

Shit.

He’d walked right into a raid and a pig. “Stop!” the police officer shouted, but Neil was already sprinting down the alley. Another cop shot out, cornering him, so Neil put his hands up to shout that he wasn’t a part of the raid when he heard the hum.

His mouth opened to screech don’t shoot, but the words didn’t make it out and he was shot square in the back with a pulse. The fire jerked through Neil. His body twisted and contorted painfully, violently. He had no control over his body. His jaw was stuck open, he couldn’t talk, his contacts were fried, and he had lost control of his bladder.

He continued to twitch, hot energy coursing through him, while the pigs stood over him. “Shit,” one said. “He’s not tagged.”

“Do we bring him in?”

“Nah, I’m not doing the extra work. Good thing about the slums is no one cares whose dying in the fuckin’ alley,” the pig said with a laugh as they walked about, leaving Neil suffering on the sidewalk.

It was deadly silent and he couldn’t even scream for help. Panic bubbled inside of him and his breathing became short and labored.

He was going to finally die. This was how he was going to die.

He continued to convulse. The hit had to be high if the energy was still rushing through his nerves like a circuit without a breaker. If this lasted it would fry his brain.

He could barely feel where it’d burned his back; his body too tense and tight to think about much else other than his lack of control.

The wind rustled some garbage and Neil twitched on the ground, face down and drooling on the pavement.

“I’ve got a connection with someone with a diffuser in the next town over, but it’ll be at least six hours,” someone was saying through the silence. A diffuser neutralized the energy in the body by there by a pulse gun.

Neil was staring at shoes.

“I can carry, but it will hurt boy,” a different voice said. Neil didn’t want more pain, but no sound came out when he tried to speak.

“Breathe, Neil,” Roland said as Neil’s body was forced to fold up and he was lifted off the ground. The way his throat felt, he had to be screaming.

 

In the purple light of Roland’s apartment, Neil was laid on the couch, still twisting painfully as the electricity controlled his body. His mother was going to make it worse. If he didn’t stop, she was going to make it worse.

His eyes burned from crying. His mother wouldn’t like that either.

Roland was sitting in front of Neil. “I can regulate your heart, but we can’t do much else without a diffuser,” he said as Neil tried to make noise that just sounded like choked out vowels. “Shh, Neil I’m going to call Andrew, okay? He knows how to deal with this better than I do. I’ll keep the burn entries warm, but your back will hurt too. I know you’re scared and hurting and aren’t in control, but it’ll only be for a little while,” he said.

Neil wanted to tell him that he needed to be okay before his mother came back. If his mother saw this she’d make it worse.

“No, Neil, no Neil, you need to breathe with me. Here, Marseille, breathe with him while I call Andrew,” Roland said.

The tiny girl sat in front of Neil. She blew her flavored cigarette smoke into his face, but it didn’t smell like Andrew’s. It wasn’t the same.

He tried to breathe with her. Something was injected into his arm; it made his chest stop aching but did nothing to stop the electricity frying his nerves and causing his body to spasm.

“Look, I know this is weird, but Neil got hit with a pulse gun. I’d say charged to 70 and maybe a ten foot range from the look of the entry burns. He doesn’t really have control and I know you’ve got a diffuser. I’ve got one on the way, but it’ll take about six hours. Figured I’d have more luck asking you. Call me when you can.”

Neil flopped against the velvety couch. The tiny girl had her eyes locked on him not that he could focus on her for long. His entire body felt like it’d been lit up and he was out of control. Painful rush after painful rush pulsed through him.

 

Roland was on the phone again. “What was I supposed to do… No I was, Andrew no I was not going to Uptown, getting a ticket, and then going to the game… And what? Rush onto the court and get arrested?... Don’t threaten me, Andrew… yes he’s still alive and awake… no he can’t talk… Andrew there’s nothing I can do about that!... no I only touched him to give him something for his heart… yes that’s what I gave him… yes Andrew I did that. No I had another friend carry him up… Would you rather we were still in the alley, Andrew?... Okay yeah we’ll be waiting. Bye.”

Andrew was coming and Neil had ruined the jersey he’d been given. That sent a wave of panic through Neil. He tried to force words out, but he just made a few weak sounds and drooled more on the couch.

No one had mentioned his mother yet. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad thing. Neil tried to remember how long recovery from a pulse hit took. Probably longer since he was forced to convulse on the couch for hours. The electricity was probably permanently frying his nerves. If he couldn’t walk, couldn’t use his hands… Neil started to full out panic.

His heart hammered in his chest and he wanted to scream. His breath came in shallow gasps. He was either going to die or be worse than dead.

“Neil, Neil you need to breath,” Roland said sitting eye level. “I know it hurts. I’ve been hit before, but Andrew is bringing a diffuser and then all this will stop. But you need to breathe. Passing out would be too dangerous.”

Neil wasn’t really listening. He thought about the knife his mother stabbed into his last pulse gun burn. If he was damaged, she’d leave him for dead. He didn’t want her to leave him alone.

“I’m giving you something to help you stay calm,” Roland said. Neil didn’t want anything, but he couldn’t tell Roland that. Instead, he made some more choked noises, but Roland still sank the needle into Neil’s arm.

Everything suddenly felt cloudy. The pain was as sharp as ever, but his thoughts felt distorted.

 

Andrew arrived when Neil felt like he was at the end. He wanted to shut his eyes and sleep, and then there was Andrew staring at him.

“Neil. I’m going to sit up you and lean you against me. It’s the easiest way for me to work with your back because I don’t want people holding you down. Blink once for yes and twice for no. Can I touch you?” Andrew asked. He was wearing glasses and Neil kind of liked it. It made Andrew look important. “Neil, I need an answer,” he repeated. Neil squeezed his eyes tight shut once. He opened them to look at Andrew. He wanted to tell Andrew that it hurt and that they had to fix him before his mom came back, but he only managed a few gurgled vowels.

Andrew said nothing, but held up a diffuser. “Have you seen one before?” he asked and Neil blinked once. It was newer looking that the one his mother had, but it still looked like a remote or maybe a weird brick.

Diffusers were dark gray and a foot long. They weren’t thick, but the top was covered in various dials and switches. It was placed over a pulse energy site and would send a wave through the body to neutralize the electricity in the body.

“It’s only going to hurt for a little longer,” Andrew said as he picked up Neil’s spasming body. Neil screamed as his body was forced in a painful way. They were on the floor and he was in Andrew’s lap. His legs flung out on either side of Andrew’s hips. His arms flopped at him sides. Andrew cradled Neil’s head in his hand while he used his sleeve to wipe tears and drool of Neil’s face.

Neil spasmed against him. Andrew tucked Neil’s head against his shoulder, so that Neil’s face was pressed against his neck. Neil jerked against Andrew; kept knocking his head against Andrew’s jaw. It hurt. It all hurt so much.

The diffuser was cold against his back and then he guessed Andrew flipped the switch because Neil sagged against him. He couldn’t move his body, but the tension, the electricity, the spasms, all of it was gone. His jaw closed and his eyes slipped shut.

“I’m going to dress the burns. I have to pull the casing off your skin,” Andrew said. Neil didn’t react until he felt tugging at his melted skin.

Neil let out a weak scream, tears pooling in his eyes, before limply laying against Andrew’s chest again.

“His function should return in about seventy-two hours,” Andrew said flatly. “Even being like that for four hours, it shouldn’t have lasting damage. I’ve seen worse and those people were fine.”

Neil didn’t know who Andrew was talking to, maybe Roland, but it was nice to hear him talk. The rumble of his voice was soothing where Neil’s face was tucked against his neck.

“What if it was permanent?”

“Than I’d care for him,” Andrew said simply. There was a stretch of silence.

“Do you want to use the bath?”

“Yeah,” Andrew said. “We will leave in the morning.”

Andrew carried Neil with ease into the bright bathroom. Shutting his eyes tighter was about the only movement Neil could make.

Neil was laid on the plush carpet in front of the tub. He squinted up at Andrew. He was still wearing glasses.

Neil gurgled at him.

“Stop trying to talk to me,” Andrew told him. Neil wanted to laugh or smile, but his face wouldn’t cooperate.

“Can I take your clothes off?”

Neil blinked once, so Andrew set about undressing him while water filled the giant tub. The sound of the water made Neil sleepy.

Andrew picked him up again and stepped into the tub. He still wore his jeans and long sleeve. Neil didn’t try to ask why.

His back was to Andrew’s chest. The water was hot, but it felt nice. Andrew had put something in the water to soothe Neil’s nerves and it smelled like… well he wasn’t sure what it smelled like, but perhaps a forest or a waterfall.

Neil looked at the mural next to the tub. Forests were for rich people like Andrew to travel to. But it was kind of nice to pretend to be in a forest and he liked the way Andrew was holding him. No one ever held Neil, and while he didn’t particularly want to be held, the way Andrew held him was nice.

Neil tried to thank Andrew, but only managed to drool all over himself. Andrew wiped his chin off with a damp hand.

“I told you to stop,” Andrew said. Neil wanted him to talk more. If he turned his head to the side, he could hear Andrew’s steady heartbeat. Neil liked that too.

Neil grunted again. Andrew took his chin and tilted his head back. “Stop being annoying,” he said. Neil hoped Andrew could see his grin in his eyes.

Andrew rolling his eyes told Neil that yes he knew Neil was trying to be funny.

“Fall asleep Neil, it’ll help,” Andrew said flatly. Neil yawned. His mother would show up tomorrow, but for now, even with his limp body and aching nerves, sitting against Andrew’s hard chest in the forest bath was really nice.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 10 chapters already!! Thanks for all the support and love and kudos and comments!! So much good stuff is coming up in this story and I hope everyone continues to enjoy. <3

Neil peeled dry eyes open. The room was softly lit with wine red drapes over the window. His muddled mind tried to put together everything from the night before.

He was working at Roland’s. The cops and the pulse gun. The pain. Andrew.

Andrew had come and cared for him.

Neil tried sitting up, but he barely managed to lift his head. He could move his hands and bend his arms, but lifting and moving them was a struggle. His toes moved, but his legs were otherwise useless still.

He couldn’t remember the amount of time it took to recover from a pulse hit, but it was obviously going to be slow going.

“Are you actually awake this time,” Andrew’s flat voice asked. Neil startled, whipping his head to the side to see Andrew in bed with him tucked up against the wall leaving as much space between them as possible.

Neil opened his mouth, it was dry and he still managed to drool on himself before pushing out, “Yeah,” in a rough voice. Andrew sat up.

“Good. We’re leaving soon anyway.”

“Where?” Neil asked. He also kind of had to pee and was hungry and thirsty, but he didn’t know if he was supposed to ask Andrew about all that.

Andrew looked at Neil for a moment. “I have practice,” he said. For some reason it was one of the weirdest sentences Neil had ever heard Andrew say.

“You seem like… the kind to… skip,” Neil pushed out. His tongue was thick and sloppy in his mouth. At least he could talk again though.

Andrew said nothing as he climbed over Neil and jumped off the bed. His clothes didn’t fit; sweatshirt hanging loose around him and his sweatpants covered his feet. Neil struggled to move the blanket sort of off himself. He wasn’t wearing his clothes either.

“Sorry about… your jersey,” Neil said feeling bad. He hadn’t meant to get it ruined.

Andrew looked up from where he was tying his shoes. “What have I said about saying stupid things?” he asked and disappeared into the hall before Neil could say anything.

He returned with a wheelchair.

“Not using that,” Neil told him. Andrew looked bored.

“Then get up,” Andrew said leaning against the door frame.

Neil chewed on his lip for a moment before flopping around the bed a bit like a fish out of water. When Neil worked up a sweat, Andrew cleared his throat.

“Fine!” Neil snapped. “Put me… in it!” Andrew picked him up effortlessly and sat him in the wheelchair. Neil slumped to the side, grumbling, as they went down purple lit halls to the bathroom.

Neil felt his ears burning as Andrew helped him in the bathroom. He couldn’t look him in the eye as memories of the bathtub filtered back into his mind.

“You’re recovering at a normal rate, so stop being difficult,” Andrew said lowly as Neil struggled in his grip.

“Don’t like feeling… helpless,” Neil muttered.

“You aren’t,” Andrew said pushing him into the living room.

The tiny girl was sitting at the table.

“Dog,” Andrew greeted her. She snapped her teeth at him. He ignored her and went to the fridge.

“Leaving so soon, snake?” she asked. Andrew ignored her.

He held out his hand for Neil’s hand. Neil gave it to him and Andrew curled his fingers around something cold in a cup.

“What… is it?” Neil asked sniffing it.

“Kevin’s creation. Drink the entire thing and then we’re leaving.”

Neil wanted to tell him no, but the rumble in his stomach changed his mind. He drank, almost choking as he tried to swallow too much. Andrew gave Neil an annoyed look, so Neil drank slower. It tasted like sawdust. He guessed it was some sort of super healthy protein shake thing.

Andrew on the other hand was drinking apple juice from a juice box. Neil narrowed his eyes.

“Why can’t… I have… that?” Neil asked between sips.

“I didn’t almost die yesterday,” Andrew said simply. Neil wanted to argue that when Andrew was dying he got popsicles, but he held his tongue.

When the container was gone, Neil handed it to Andrew. Andrew then helped Neil into his coat and shoes.

“Dog, I’ll take Neil, you take the wheelchair,” Andrew said to the tiny girl. She was smoking and blew her flavored smoke at Andrew.

“Sure, snake,” she said. Neil was lifted by Andrew and they headed out of the apartment into the chilly, grey morning. It was probably just past seven in the morning judging by the street traffic. A large black bag was settled in Neil’s lap.

“Your stuff is in there too,” Andrew said. Lighting up as the tiny girl disappeared back into the apartment hallway, shutting the door with a harsh click.

Their walk was quiet. Neil felt out of place in the wheelchair even though no one paid them any mind. The wind wasn’t too bad that morning, but Neil pushed up his shoulders and buried his face in his coat collar. To keep himself awake, he focused on moving his fingers and arms. Everything felt heavy and like he was moving through tar.

It was frustrating and he was exhausted by the time they crossed into Midtown and got into Andrew’s car.

“I’m putting you in the bath when we get to the stadium. The salts and herbs I used yesterday will help stimulate your nervous system,” Andrew said. Neil made an attempt to shrug. He was tired and about the drift off.

 

Neil woke when Andrew pulled him out of the car. He sluggish response only slightly alarmed him as he felt oddly safe wrapped in Andrew’s arms.

But maybe that was the sleep talking.

“Oh my god Neil!” Nicky shouted. “I was so worried when Andrew barreled out of here!”

“Yeah fuck, I thought Andrew was going to tear the building down when he heard the message!” Dan said giving Neil a hug.

“Glad to see you’re alive,” Matt laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

“I’ve only seen Andrew like that once before and fuck,” Nicky said.

“So a pulse gun?” Dan asked. Neil nodded. Andrew had slipped away and he kind of wish he’d been taken with.

“In the back,” Neil said thickly.

“Well at least you can talk,” Matt said. “I’ve seen what it can do to a person.”

Neil tried his best to forget about drooling all over Andrew the night before.

“You sure you’re good? I don’t know how good of a care giver Andrew is,” Dan said. Neil nodded, slightly annoyed by her comment.

“Need anything?” Matt asked. Neil shook his head.

“Alright then we’ve got practice,” Dan said with a sigh. “We’re about to pay for losing last night,” she said with a small laugh, breaking away from the boys to go into the women changing room.

“Seriously Neil, it’s a relief to see you after last night,” Nicky said before following Matt into the changing room.

Neil was alone in the main room. The room was warm and he was starting to sweat in his layers. His back was also starting to really hurt where the burn was pressed against the back of his wheelchair. But if he leaned forward, he’d fall out of the chair not having good control over his core or the balance he needed.

Andrew reappeared, taking the handles and steering Neil through the third door. It was where the offices were and the small health center. The bath was in one corner and it was the size of a small pool.

“Can I undress you?” Andrew asked. Neil nodded. “I’ll leave your underwear on,” Andrew said pushing up his sleeves and starting with Neil’s shoes.

“Did I scare… you?” Neil asked curiously. He wanted to know what Andrew had been like last night, but Andrew said nothing. “I’m sorry… if I did,” Neil added. Andrew grunted at him.

“Stop being sorry for what you can’t control,” Andrew said at last. He pulled the sweatshirt over Neil’s head and left his tshirt on. “Even though only an idiot would have walked right into a raid.”

“I didn’t know!” Neil snapped.

“There was a watch dog, Neil,” Andrew said.

“A what?”

Andrew stared at him. “The dog in the apartment. A watch dog? How long have you lived in the lower level?”

“I keep to… myself,” Neil told him. “And what dog?”

“Marseille, the watch dog,” Andrew said again like Neil was stupid.

“The tiny girl?” he asked. Andrew nodded.

“Watch dogs, people hired when there’s a raid nearby to watch out for unnecessary trouble? What do you do down there?”

Neil made an attempt to cross his arms and scowl at Andrew. “I keep… to myself,” he muttered. Andrew didn’t say anything else, just strapped a large life jacket around Neil. “What’s this?”

“A life jacket, Neil,” Andrew tutted. Neil glared. “After all that work I’m not letting you drown in the bath,” he added.

“Maybe I’d prefer… to,” Neil told him.

“Don’t count on it,” Andrew said picking him up. Neil half expected Andrew to chuck him into the bath, but Andrew placed him inside gently. “But really,” Andrew said tilting Neil’s head back so that Neil was looking at him. Neil met his eyes; golden but bloodshot and tired. “Don’t fucking drown or I’ll be really annoyed.”

“I don’t… have a… death wish,” Neil told him. Andrew didn’t look like he believed Neil in the least, but said nothing and left Neil floating in the bath. “I don’t!” he called after Andrew, but when he thought about it, it sure looked like he did. Broken wrist, black eyes, bruised nose, burned back…

Neil sank into the water as much as he could and tried to relax.

 

Abby came in a one point and ran some reflex tests. “It looks like you’re on track for a full recovery. Just a bit slow going,” she said with a small smile. Neil just wanted to be able to move freely and not be tethered to Andrew.

“I hate pulse guns,” Abby went out. “I spent some time in a Midtown ER and there were so many people who’d come in. But it’s also a relief that it wasn’t a real gun since cops can carry down there,” she said gathering her things. “I still hate all guns though. The news is buzzing about two cops who were shot in the back in their homes here in Midtown in the early morning. They lived, but god I can’t even imagine.”

Neil stared at the ceiling. He thought about his gun. He thought about Roland’s guns. He thought about Andrew’s violence.

He didn’t need to hear it in words to know what happened.

It didn’t make him afraid of Andrew though. Andrew with his light touches and gentle hands and strong arms.

Abby left Neil with his thoughts and he thought about Andrew. How simply cutting into Andrew’s scared flesh had landed him there in the Foxes health center.

Andrew bared his scars and then Neil did the same. They traded in secrets and information; never enough, but always the right amount. And Neil wanted to know more. The way Andrew surround him, slipped into his thoughts, was around every corner; Neil wanted to know more.

“Are you awake?”

Neil looked up at Andrew; his hair was damp and his skin was flushed. He’d probably showered after practice.

“I’m awake… I can move a little more,” Neil said softly. He felt loose and sleepy. “My contacts fried.” He’d given the broken lenses to Abby to throw away. They weren’t worth keeping.

“I know,” Andrew said lifting Neil out of the pool. He sat Neil on a bench and began removing the life vest. Neil had a bit more core control and only swayed a little on the bench. He managed to keep himself upright with Andrew’s help.

The towel was soft and warm. Neil kind of wanted to ask Andrew to roll him up in the towel and left him sleep.

“You’re smiling like an idiot,” Andrew said, ruffling Neil’s wet hair with the towel.

“Mmm,” Neil hummed letting his eyes slip shut. “I like you hands on me,” he said softly. Andrew grunted. Neil could hear the eye roll, but he didn’t care.

He let Andrew dress him quickly and efficiently. Last came a sweatshirt that smelled just like Andrew. Neil smiled at him again when Andrew sat him in the wheelchair.

“Stupid,” Andrew muttered. Neil said nothing as they went into the main room with everyone.

“Guess he is alive,” Aaron muttered. Neil leaned forward in his wheelchair, too far, causing Andrew to grab his shoulder and pull him back.

“Aaron, I had to live to see your beautiful face,” Neil said. Aaron looked like he wanted to deck Neil.

“So, what, you’re his fucking nurse now? You suck his cock and wipe his ass for him?” Aaron snapped at his brother. Nicky gave Aaron a furious look, but Andrew sat on the couch with Kevin looking disinterested. “You just ran off for this piece of shit!” Aaron said, working himself up. Neil recognized the outburst as misplaced care for his brother, but didn’t feel like bringing that up. They all let the air sizzle with tension until Wymack walked out.

“Andrew,” Wymack said sharply, “If I ever see you hit Kevin like that again I’ll gut you myself,” he said. Neil jerked his chin up to look at Kevin. His cheek was covered in a dark bruise; probably from last night. “But now that Neil’s with the living, we can discuss bus time at 10 AM and then plane takes off at 1 PM. Game in Dallas is at 7 PM and then we head to Arizona for tomorrow’s game.”

“Is this really coming with?” Aaron asked hotly, pointing at Neil.

“What no I’m-” Neil started.

“Of course he’s coming,” Andrew said with an eye roll. “Get used to it, brother,” he added, saying brother like he was sitting a bad taste out of his mouth.

“I’m not going,” Neil said to Andrew. Andrew gave him a bored look.

“Then walk home, Neil,” he said. Neil scowled at him and crossed his arms. He wasn’t guaranteed leg movement by the time the bus left, leaving Neil to rely on Andrew.

He hated it.

“Well, now that that’s settled, get out of here. I’m tired of all you dramatic people,” Wymack said heading towards his office.

The group broke fast, obviously wanting to get away from the tension that radiated off Aaron. But even Aaron and Nicky left when Kevin beckoned them. Leaving Neil feeling weak and irritated and Andrew looking indifferent.

Andrew leaned down over Neil, putting his hands on the armrests and leaning into Neil’s face. “I know it’s hard to rely on others,” Andrew said quietly. Neil could feel Andrew’s breath against his lips and he looked away from Andrew’s eyes.

“This is how I die, by being vulnerable,” Neil whispered.

“Trust me,” Andrew said.

“I do. I just want to stand on equal ground with you,” Neil told him. He looked back up at Andrew’s eyes, seeing something there that he couldn’t put into words. The moment felt like it was on fire, burning through Neil in a good way. Melting him into Andrew…

And then Andrew pulled back, snapping Neil back to reality.

He blinked, watching Andrew go get their coats.

It was almost like Andrew was going to kiss him.

And it was almost like Neil wanted him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I already know the next chapter will be called Neil Is Such A Little Shit. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I love the song Fire Meet Gasoline by Sia and I love couples that fit the song. Enjoy!

Despite being full of organic fresh food and tucked into a warm, comfortable bed, Neil couldn’t sleep. He was going over every interaction he’d ever had with Andrew.

Some of it now made sense, but a lot didn’t. Like why in the first place did Andrew like him? Neil didn’t even like himself. No one liked Neil or whoever he’d been. He was used up and thrown away for a reason.

Neil tried to think about the trip to the South. He’d been through Phoenix, but hadn’t ever crossed into Dallas. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the little trip, but his legs still weren’t talking to his brain, so his hands were tied.

Neil had spent a quiet afternoon in the spare room in Andrew’s condo, which he learned had been Nicky’s room at one point. He could hear Kevin walking through the house and the murmur of whatever game he was watching. He was pretty sure Andrew stayed tucked away in his own room all day. Only appearing when Neil needed the bathroom or to tell Neil to eat something.

So, his afternoon was spent on his laptop. First, he did research on the upcoming matches and cross referenced it with what he’d learned at practice that day. Dallas was an even match, but Arizona should be an easy win. Neil kind of wished Kevin wasn’t such a dick so he could talk strategy, but Kevin had made it clear that Neil being present was a security threat.

Andrew brushed him off saying Neil wasn’t that important and wouldn’t even register with anyone. Kevin had rolled his eyes and Neil reminded them that he was sitting right there and could hear them.

“I’d almost forgotten,” Andrew had said with a bored voice and pushed Neil into the spare room.

Neil was back to thinking about Andrew liking him. No one had ever commented on Andrew’s sexuality, but that meant nothing. He wasn’t even sure the Foxes would know if he were to ask.

He fell asleep annoyed that he couldn’t figure Andrew out.

 

Kevin left early in the morning to practice, leaving Neil to enjoy breakfast with Andrew. They both sat in the living room; Andrew watching the TV and Neil watching Andrew.

“You’re staring,” Andrew finally said.

“I’m trying to figure you out,” Neil said. Andrew snorted. “Do you like me?” Neil blurted out. He chewed on his lip waiting for Andrew’s eyes to slide over to him.

“I hate you,” he said flatly. Neil rolled his eyes.

“I’m not stupid, Andrew,” Neil said. Another snort.

“Have you looked in a mirror recently?” Andrew asked.

“Answer my question first,” Neil challenged.

“Most of the time I want to kill you myself you’re so annoying,” Andrew told him.

“What about the rest of the time?” Neil asked. Andrew just stared at him. “What are you afraid of?” Neil tried.

“Heights,” Andrew said shutting off the TV.

“Not the answer I was looking for,” Neil said.

“Then ask better questions,” Andrew said standing up.

“I think you like me,” Neil said looking up at him. He watched Andrew work his jaw.

“I like no one,” Andrew said heading towards his room. Neil turned in his chair and watched him go.

“That’s what you keep saying,” Neil said with a grin.

 

By the time they’d reached the airport, Andrew had resorted to threatening Neil under his breath mostly for Neil being unable to wipe the stupid grin off his face.

The airport was splint in two, there was the rich side and the poor side. Planes were split the same way. Neil had never been in the wealthy part of the airport with it’s expensive leather chairs and aged wine at the ready. It made him uncomfortable. Andrew had bought him new clothes and Allison had covered his face in makeup, but he still felt like a cop was going to know.

A cop or a custodian or the person taking their tickets. Even once he was seated on the plane next to the window with Andrew next to him did he still feel too exposed. He shrunk down in his seat eyes looked on the outside world.

Airports were weird. So much open space. No buildings or walls or gates. Just stretches of runway and grass. The grass was dead though and the sky was gray like the runways. Neil counted the neon blue lights that lined the runway. He counted them until they blurred on the horizon.

Once upon a time there were pilots that needed the lights to see. Now the computers locked onto the tiny blue lights to guide them in ascent and descent.

The automated safety voice clicked on. Neil had been in planes a few times when he was younger and his mother took him to Europe to run. She’d been so sure they’d lose their pursuers in France and then Germany and then Switzerland.

But the Moriyama’s had eyes everywhere.

The plane rumbled to life and Neil turned his attention to Andrew. If Neil hadn’t been spending so much time with him, he probably wouldn’t have noticed the tension in Andrew’s body. His eyes bore into the seat in front of him and his hands were resting palm down on his thighs, but it was like his entire body had been pulled taut. He was a statue as the plane sped up and launched itself. Neil was slightly worried Andrew wasn’t breathing.

If he had his contacts he was sure he’d seen erratic heartbeat and elevated blood pressure. But Andrew sat as still as a statue. He didn’t even have anything to say when Neil knew he’d been staring too long.

But the plane leveled out and Andrew’s eyes snapped to Neil.

“You weren’t lying,” Neil said.

“I don’t lie,” Andrew told him.

“You lie to yourself,” Neil said quietly.

“I will push you out the emergency door,” Andrew told him. Neil felt a smile tug at his lips. “Especially if you put that idiotic smile on your face,” he said sounding bored, but Neil knew he was getting under his skin.

“Am I bothering you?” Neil asked, cocking his head.

“Nothing bothers me,” Andrew told him. Neil smiled.

“And yet I annoy you?” Neil prodded. He watched Andrew roll his shoulders, releasing the tension he was holding. Neil moved to look at Andrew as he leaned in close.

“You are the most annoying no body I have ever met,” Andrew murmured, breath ghosting over Neil’s skin. Neil wanted Andrew to kiss him. Instead he got Andrew’s hand in his face. “Stop smiling like an idiot. Look out the damn window,” he said, pushing Neil’s head back.

He kept his hand covering Neil’s face, his palm warm against Neil’s face. He was still smiling. Andrew’s callouses dragged against Neil’s skin as he continued to push Neil’s head back.

The back of Neil’s head hit the window, but Andrew didn’t move his hand.

“So, this is how it’s going to be?” Neil asked pressing his tongue against Andrew’s warm skin.

“Guess so,” Andrew said, pressing his fingers against Neil’s eyelids when he licked his palm again. Andrew tasted like ash which wasn’t a surprise. Neil watched him smoke before they entered the airport.

They sat there for an eternity. Until Neil gave up waiting and asked, “Do you plan on moving your hand?”

“No,” Andrew told him. Neil lifted his hand.

“Can I touch your hand?” Neil asked, voice muffled when Andrew pressed his palm harder against Neil’s lips.

“No,” Andrew said so Neil dropped his hands back into his lap.

“Are you two fucking done?” Aaron snapped from behind them, roughly kicking Neil’s seat.

“Aaron,” Nicky snapped.

“They are being disgusting,” Aaron muttered, kicking Neil’s seat again. He abruptly stood and made sure to hit the side of Neil’s head when he moved. Neil heard Nicky sigh and probably followed him because Andrew slid his hand down Neil’s face. He was careful of his bruises and let his thumb catch on Neil’s bottom lip. Neil pulled his eyes up to Andrew’s as Andrew pressed against Neil’s lip.

Neil sat still, breath caught in his throat. He wanted to lick Andrew’s thumb; take his warm fingers into his mouth, no let Andrew push his fingers into Neil’s mouth and Neil would suck on them gratefully.

“Stop being annoying,” Andrew murmured, tugging Neil’s lip as he let his hand fall away. Neil just stared, heart thudding against his ribcage so hard he was briefly afraid of a cracked rib.

When Andrew turned away, Neil turned to the window. He stared at the clouds intent on calming down. Neil went through everything he could think of that didn’t remind him of Andrew, but ended up thinking about the way Andrew bared his scarred arm.

The manic smile plastered to his face as he showed Neil his secrets. Neil didn’t give it much thought as it was a job, but now his scar was raked across Andrew’s flesh. Well, properly healed, Neil’s work didn’t leave scars. His work caused skin and flesh to knit together perfectly.

He didn’t mangle people like his father did. His precision was learned from his mother. Neil’s forearms had been sliced open a thousand times until the skin when from puckered and white to smooth and neatly healed.

His mother didn’t take that kind of care when fixing burns and slashes and bullet holes that covered his torso and legs. After awhile she told Neil not to waste that kind of healing on himself. It was for paying customers; for beautiful people with an image to upkeep.

Andrew had no image except manic and monster. The lack of medication had pulled that from him and Wymack simply told the press it was new side effects. No one paid much mind since Andrew’s eyes were just as empty as they were before.

But Neil was glad he’d healed his slice with care. He wasn’t there to chop up Andrew even though Andrew had done it to himself. Because Andrew was-

“Finally, we get off this thing,” Nicky said leaning over Neil’s seat. Neil blinked and looked up at him.

“Yeah,” Neil said shaking out his stiff limbs. He was glad to see his left leg moving more as he did. Still couldn’t stand though.

 

They headed straight to the stadium. Dallas didn’t look much different. Maybe the buildings weren’t the same, but the fences and gates and walls looked like everywhere else.

The stadium was already crawling with rolling robocops. They were lit up team colors. The burn on Neil’s back hurt at the sight of their pulse guns in hand. They weren’t charged, but they were ready to use.

“I want everyone spread out for stretching while we go over tonight’s plan,” Wymack said as they filed into the guest locker rooms. “That plane will cramp the best of us. Andrew get him out of the wheelchair too. His nerves won’t restart without a push,” Wymack added pointing at Neil.

Neil opened his mouth to protest, but Andrew dumped him onto the floor.

“Hey!” he snapped. Andrew just took a seat next to Neil while Aaron snickered. “Don’t make me go over there, Aaron!” Neil barked. Aaron flipped him off.

“Go the fuck ahead. No be my guest, walk over here,” Aaron called across the room.

“Aaron, stop,” Dan cut it while Neil tried to scramble to his knees. He didn’t know his next move but it didn’t matter. Andrew grabbed the back of Neil’s coat and yanked him down on his ass.

“What the fuck, Andrew?!” Neil snapped as anger bubbled through him. He was tired of being useless. Andrew ignored Neil.

“Shut up, all of you!” Wymack shouted. He’d finished drawing out plays on the smartboard. Neil looked over them and then looked at Kevin. Andrew was the second ranked goalie in the league behind the Raven’s goalie. Neil had read reports about how it was rumored Andrew would take the top spot before the season ended.

But none of that meant Andrew could handle playing an entire game. It was a bold move that usually the top teams executed, and Andrew hadn’t played a full game that Neil was aware of.

Neil wanted to speak up, but who was he? Some guy?

He looked at Kevin as Wymack started going over the first half. Then he looked at Andrew.

“You’re staring,” Andrew told him without turning to look at Neil.

“Can you do the entire game? Are you healthy enough? Functioning without meds going okay?” Neil asked in a rush. That made Andrew turn and watch Neil’s sorry attempt at stretching.

“The drugs controlled me. Now I’m in control again,” he said as Neil watched his muscles pull taught as he stretched his shoulders.

“A full game though?” Neil asked again.

“He’s ready,” Kevin cut in. “It’s something we’ve been waiting to try.”

“I didn’t know Andrew cared that much,” Neil said to Kevin.

“He doesn’t,” Dan said. “But we’ve been waiting to do this.”

“We doesn’t include Andrew,” Nicky said. “Or at least he says he doesn’t, but that’s a lie because we are still a team.”

“He doesn’t lie,” Neil said. Aaron snorted. “Something to add, Aaron?” Neil asked.

“Andrew lies through his teeth. Every word from his mouth is a lie,” Aaron said.

“Then why do you trust him,” Neil challenged.

“That’s different,” Aaron snapped.

“Yeah right. You much be a huge idiot if you put blind trust in what you consider a liar,” Neil said.

“Take a look at yourself then,” Aaron spat. “You want Andrew to trust you? You come with more lies than he does!”

“Aaron stop,” Nicky said weakly. “Andrew isn’t a liar he just… some things aren’t the full truth?” Nicky said with a shrug. “He leaves stuff out like everyone.”

“Or you don’t ask the right questions,” Neil said crossing his arms. Aaron lunged for Neil, but Wymack was fast enough to catch his shoulder and force him down.

“I said shut up!” he snapped. “Save it for on the court!”

Aaron shot Neil a murderous glare and Neil just shrugged.

 

“Why does Aaron think you’re such a huge liar?” Neil asked when Andrew took him to his seat. He was sure Andrew was going to ignore him as he parked Neil in the wheelchair space. It wasn’t the best seat, but Neil still had a good view of the court and he was near the Foxes bench.

“He doesn’t like the truth,” Andrew said. Neil thought about their mother. He wondered what else Andrew had said that he didn’t like.

Neil wanted to ask, but it wasn’t the time.

“Good luck,” Neil said to annoy Andrew. Andrew looked at him, before pressing his hand against Neil’s mouth. Neil waited, eyes on Andrew. He looked like he wanted to say something and Neil thought about pushing him.

But then Andrew pulled his hand away and went back down the tunnel. Neil watched him go. Again his heartbeat was thudding away in his chest.

 

The first half ended at 0-0. The crowds roared away, a sea of green for Dallas and bits of orange for the Foxes. What was even better was Neil realized he could stand on his own during halftime. Well, slightly before when Andrew batted away a hard-fought shot with ten seconds left.

Neil had stood up as a cheer tore through him. The buzzer went off signaling the end of the period and Neil realized that he was standing.

Neil was jittery when the next half started. Part of him wanted to take off running around the stadium now that he could and the other half was stressed about Andrew’s second half performance. He didn’t doubt Kevin’s judgement, but rather Andrew’s lack of interest in the game.

The first half hadn’t been too hard on him, so maybe that helped. But there were so many factors in a full game that Neil wasn’t sure he could do it. Exhaustion being a big factor. And stamina.

Neil’s eyes mostly tracked Kevin through his time on the court, but every time the ball got near the Foxes backliners, Neil was glued to Andrew. He wasn’t doing much of anything but waiting. Twice the Foxes tossed the ball back to him, but other than that there wasn’t much going on.

A few shots on goal and the Foxes finally scored. Exy wasn’t usually so low scoring, but Dallas had a strong back line that went after Kevin like they were out for blood. The game wasn’t as dirty as others, but as the clocked ticked down the hits started coming.

Yellow cards were handed out and the score was 3-1 Foxes favor. Neil wasn’t sure if Andrew was slowing or if he’d grown bored. Neil gripped the railing tight.

“Come on, Andrew,” he found himself whispering. Everyone around his was cheering for Kevin, but Neil had his eyes on the last defense the Foxes had against losing. Watching every swing Andrew took forced Neil to let out the breath he was holding.

And then the game ended.

4-1 Foxes favor.

Neil felt so light headed he thought he was going to pass out.

Relief flooded him. When Abby came to get him, he barely registered leaving the stadium until he was in the quiet of the main room. The projection screens were already running game highlights. They were talking about how Andrew did.

How he played an entire game and let one goal out of 30 shots.

How if he kept it up he could be a real threat. The commentators laughed at what they felt was a pun. Neil almost put his fist through the screen when Abby returned.

“Do you need anything? The wait shouldn’t be that long though,” she said. Neil remembered he could stand up.

“Oh tell Andrew I can stand?” he asked. Abby smiled and gave Neil a nod.

He didn’t expect Andrew to come barreling out of the locker room, his jersey stripped off, but still wearing pads.

He stopped toe to toe with Neil and Neil stood. Andrew’s skin glistened with sweat. His hair was damp and sticking up from pulling his helmet off. His skin was still flushed from the game and his eyes were dark.

Neil watched Andrew lick his lips. He stared to sway, legs tired from standing, but held his balance. Carefully, he raised a hand to link his fingers around the fabric of Andrew’s chest armor. It was damp and even without touching Andrew’s skin, Neil could feel the heat pouring off him.

“I want you to kiss me,” Neil said in a hoarse whisper without thinking. His throat was dry and he dug his fingers into Andrew’s pads.

Andrew reached up, a hot hand locking onto the back of Neil’s neck. Neil waited for Andrew to make a move. He could barely breathe because he was burning, melting, turning to ash as Andrew pulled him forward and pushed their lips together.

Neil held onto Andrew’s pads as Andrew’s lips moved against his. Hot, too hot, burning his skin as the kiss continued.

But nothing had ever felt as freeing as kissing Andrew felt. The pull of his skin against Neil’s. Neil didn’t care if his lungs burst, the push of Andrew’s mouth on his was enough.

Andrew did pull back eventually, staring at Neil as Neil panted open mouthed in Andrew’s face. Andrew’s lips were lush and red and Neil wanted to kiss him again-

“Sit before you fall,” Andrew said roughly, unhooking Neil’s stiff fingers from his chest pads. Neil sat down, feeling unsteady and tired. He didn’t know how to say he wanted Andrew to kiss him again. He didn’t know if Andrew _would_ kiss him again. Neil tried to focus on something else, but the only thought was about Andrew’s lips against his. Andrew’s skin against his scorching the life out of Neil.

Andrew turned to leave, but looked back at Neil for a moment. Another look crossed his face so briefly that Neil couldn’t decipher it. But before leaving Andrew said to him in a flat voice, “I didn’t think you’d actually be real.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's attitude this chapter is basically because Neil figured it out and now Andrew is internally screaming FUCK ABORT. 
> 
> I talk about this fic on tumblr a bit with the tag 'aftg skilled fic'. 
> 
> Because Andrew was __________. [What oh what was Neil going to say??? Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!]


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year lovelies!

They’d gotten into Phoenix in the early hours of the morning. Neil was practically vibrating with energy as he fell into bed. He’d expected another sleepless night, but was surprised when he passed the fuck out before Andrew even got out of the bathroom.

Wymack said they could sleep in, but he put an all call out at 11 AM for a group jog. Matt told Neil this was typical.

“Even you are going to run even if I have to walk next to you,” Wymack said pointing a finger a Neil who was walking about as well as a newborn deer. He nodded anyway. Anything to take his mind of kissing Andrew.

He’d snapped away just after dawn, Andrew’s lips a phantom weight on his own. Neil got no sleep after that. He stared at the ceiling and listened to Andrew’s even breathing and tried to tell himself it was a one time in the moment thing. Andrew was just… no word fit. Neil didn’t know why Andrew listened to him then since he’d never listened to Neil before.

Well, he did _like_ Neil. And Neil liked kissing Andrew, but it wouldn’t happen again. Neil would have to go back to his shit life and Andrew would fade into the background. Their little affair was short lived because of who they were and what they did for a living.

“Earth to Neil,” Matt said waving his hand in front of Neil’s face. Neil blinked, the Foxes were all moving, gearing up for their run. Neil was standing in front of the garbage still holding his plate.

“I’m fine,” he said placing his tray in the return area and then going to the group. It was already a warm day, but Neil pulled his hood up. He pulled the strings tight so that it closed until only his eyes and nose showed.

Aaron gave him an annoyed look. Neil rolled his eyes. “It’s so I don’t have to look at you,” Neil said as he stalked past. Nicky grabbed Aaron as he lurched forward.

Neil set a comfortable job, working the life back into his legs. He was good at running. He _liked_ running. He slowly picked up the pace as the group moved down the path they were running on.

Everything was fine until Aaron full body checked him while running past and sent Neil sprawling across the pavement. He gasped like he was drowning; Aaron’s solid body knocking the air out of Neil.

Half the group stopped.

“Aaron,” Nicky sighed.

“Andrew should have kept his pet on a shorter leash,” Aaron said. Neil raised a shaky middle finger to Aaron.

“Would you just drop whatever this is?” Nicky asked.

“Why did we stop?!” Kevin demanded. Andrew and Renee stopped behind Kevin. Andrew looked bored as always.

“Why is he even with us?” Aaron snapped at Andrew. “You have a- a-,” he paused glaring at his brother and then at Neil. “We all know he’s nothing more than a pet you’ll get bored with,” he spat. Neil didn’t know who the venom was directed at but Aaron’s glare was fixed on him. 

“Everyone shut up and get moving!” Wymack shouted as he passed.

Everyone took off, while Neil got slowly to his feet as he remembered how to breathe. Aaron had jarred his shoulder and hip, but it was the burns on his back that hurt the most. He limped along for a moment before slowly picking up the pace.

“Neil, you look like a fucking idiot,” Kevin said when Neil caught up to him. Neil just grunted.

“He’s right. Why are you doing that? Who’d know you in the upper ring?” Nicky asked over his shoulder.

“It looks like I got hit with a bus in the face,” Neil said. Aaron snorted. “Andrew hates my face more than you!” Neil yelled at Aaron.

“Neil,” Nicky sighed, but didn’t try to stop Aaron this time. Kevin did though.

“Get out of the way, Day,” Aaron snapped. “Gonna break his jaw.”

“It won’t make me go away!” Neil spat trying to get around Kevin. “I’ll stay around until Andrew wants me to go away!”

“Andrew doesn’t know what he wants he’s-”

“Aaron,” Andrew said. Neil hadn’t seen him double back around to them. “Let’s go,” he said flatly and took off running. With one last glare at Neil, Aaron took off after Andrew.

“But no really why is your hood like that?” Nicky asked.

“Allison didn’t do my make up yet today,” Neil said and took off after the twins.

 

They didn’t have to be at the stadium until closer to serve, so Neil went to his and Andrew’s room to watch Arizona’s most recent performance. Andrew hadn’t returned to the room, so Neil didn’t use headphones.

Sitting on the bed with his laptop felt oddly like the shittier parts of his life except for the expensive sheets under his ass. He looked around the room. He was sore from being hit by Aaron, but didn’t know if he’d fall asleep in the bath.

Fifteen minutes later Neil was balancing his laptop on the toilet seat lid and filling the tub. Andrew still hadn’t returned, but Neil locked the bathroom door anyway. He slid into the water and immediately regretted it. His eyelids felt heavy and his body felt exhausted.

Neil cranked the volume of the game and forced himself to concentrate on it. Their offense was okay and they had a pretty good dealer, but their defense was absolute shit. The Foxes would walk all over them. Their dealers might be able to push past the Foxes, but Neil wasn’t sure they’d score. Andrew wasn’t playing the entire game this time, but Renee was a good goalie too.

Banging on the door startled Neil.

“Who the fuck is in the bathroom?!” Andrew snapped.

“Neil!” he shouted back. When Andrew said nothing he added, “Why?”

Still nothing.

“Andrew, what?!” Neil shouted again. Nothing. Neil paused the game debating about whether he should get out and see what Andrew was doing. “Andrew!” Neil shouted.

“What?” Andrew asked sounding bored.

“What did you want?”

“Nothing.”

“Then what the fuck was that?” Neil asked. When Andrew didn’t answer Neil was sure he’d left again and he was ready to get out of the tub when Andrew answered.

“Making sure you weren’t Kevin,” he told Neil. “Now stop yelling.”

“You were yelling first,” Neil grumbled and went back to watching the game.

 

Neil would be lying if he said he wasn’t hoping Andrew would kiss him sometime during the afternoon. But when he’d left the bathroom, Andrew was asleep and slept right until it was time to go.

Now it was game time and Neil was grumpy in the stands. If Andrew wanted him to ask again he would, but there was no good opportunity to ask.

It left Neil feeling frustrated. Yesterday he’d said it without much thought and now that he had time to think about kissing Andrew it was something he couldn’t seem to get.

He drummed his fingers on the railing. Kevin scored in the first five minutes and Neil was sure that’d set the tone for the game. Arizona was going to try at least. Neil tried going over stats in his head, but his memory had become mush. All he wanted to think about was Andrew.

Neil looked to the bench where Andrew sat relaxed. He wasn’t watching the game. He stared off into space until he decided to fix the Velcro on his gloves. Neil watched him raise a hand to his hair and push it off his forehead.

Neil was going to go back to the Lower Level where he belonged and all of this would become a memory. He was telling himself that so that he’d remember the game, the crowds, the cheers, the sounds, the smell… but all he really wanted to remember was Andrew. How he moved, how he played…

“Hey you’re Neil right?” someone asked and Neil turned before realizing it was a mistake. He was staring at Gabe McKinnon, pro basketball player from somewhere in California. Neil had a lot of clients, but he always remembered those with money. “Remember you helped me out,” Gabe said gesturing to his arm.

Neil’s chest felt tight. He nodded dumbly as his body screamed for him to run.

“What happened to your arm, dude?” he asked.

“I’ll be right back,” Neil said awkwardly, jerking to his feet. “I’m getting a phone call.”

Neil hopped over the railing. It wasn’t far down, but the jarring in his knees almost knocked him over. He grit his teeth and tore down the tunnel.

He had to go.

This was too dangerous.

The Foxes couldn’t be associated with it.

It would ruin them.

And that would ruin him.

Neil’s breathing was rough as he clawed at his lock. He needed his stuff and then he needed to go. He was careless and someone recognized him at an Exy game. That meant anyone could know who he was. People could have pictures. The cops could be on their way.

This could be the night he died.

“Neil.”

He whirled around to find Andrew standing in the doorway.

“I have to go,” Neil choked out. “I don’t belong here, Andrew.”

Andrew looked at him with vacant eyes, saying nothing. Neil didn’t know what he wanted Andrew to say though. Whatever yesterday was… whatever that was it was long gone.

The illusion was broken.

The magic was gone.

Everything was over.

Andrew crossed the room to stand toe to toe with Neil. He looked up at Neil’s eyes as if searching.

Neil could hear the others in the main room. It must have been halftime.

“Andrew,” Neil said again hating how broken his voice sounded. Andrew undid his glove and put his hand over Neil’s mouth.

“Stop talking. I don’t want to hear it,” Andrew said lowly. There wasn’t expression on his face, but his words were laced with fight. Neil stayed quiet. “You go where I go and I will keep you safe. You leave and you are vulnerable.”

Neil wanted to say that Andrew couldn’t stop the people he was running from. His family stole money. What Neil did was illegal. What Neil had done for Andrew was illegal and if the wrong people found out Neil would be dead.

Death was always right around the corner for Neil even if the warmth from Andrew’s palm made him want to forget it all.

But he couldn’t take Andrew down with him. He didn’t deserve that. Andrew had so much to live for.

“Andrew,” Neil said desperate for him to listen, to understand why he needed to go.

“I said stop talking,” Andrew said leaning closer. Neil tried to plead with his eyes. He could burn, but Andrew couldn’t burn with him. It wasn’t fair. Neil wouldn’t let him. “I don’t care if you don’t to go back out there, but if you leave I can’t protect you.”

Neil wanted to tell him he didn’t need it. Andrew couldn’t save him.

“Take a deep breath and sit your ass down. I’m tired of pulling you back from the edge of stupidity,” Andrew said. Neither of them moved, but Andrew finally pulled his hand away from Neil’s mouth.

“Andrew, I,” Neil didn’t know what to say. It was like Andrew was asking him to give up his gun, his last ditch protection.

He didn’t know if he could trust someone that much.

“I have nothing to give you,” Neil said deflating against the lockers.

“Show me your scars.”

“You’ve seen them,” Neil said.

“Not because you wanted me to,” Andrew told him. Neil stared at him. Staying was the wrong choice and Neil knew it. He’d been afraid trusting him would kill Andrew, but this, this would definitely kill both of them.

And Neil still said yes. He couldn’t say anything else except yes. It was all he ever wanted to say to Andrew.

Andrew closed the space between them, pressing his lips to Neil’s. Andrew’s warmth seeped into Neil as Andrew kissed harder. Moving his mouth and finally licking into Neil’s. Andrew pushed his tongue against Neil’s before drawing back and gently biting Neil’s lower lip.

“Tonight,” Andrew whispered and then turned to the main room. Neil sank to the floor. The ghost of his mother was screaming at him for a thousand reasons.

But Neil could only hear Andrew asking him to stay.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short, but full of important information! And warming there is some brief, not very graphic, sexual content towards the end. Enjoy!

Returning to Andrew’s condo set Neil on edge. He didn’t know when he and Andrew were supposed to… look at his body. Neil turned pink at the thought. In the moment, it had sounded so easy. But with time to think on the airplane, Neil had become anxious. He’d never purposely taken his clothes off with another person watching.

When he’d been put in the bath at Roland’s he’d been too out of it to realize his dick had been out for Andrew to see. Or that all his scarred flesh had been held in Andrew’s arms.

Neil turned redder and went to lock himself in the guest room. Andrew said nothing, but Neil could hear the murmur of Kevin’s voice.

In the small sanctuary, Neil pulled out his laptop and reviewed the orders that had arrived at Roland’s for him to pick up. If Andrew let Neil go back. He’d tried to discuss it on the plane and Andrew just stared at him with a blank expression.

He told Andrew he’d have to go back at some point and Andrew just gave an uninterested shrug.

To which Neil said he wasn’t a princess to be locked in a tower.

To which Aaron snorted loudly at.

So, Neil roughly kicked Aaron’s seat because Aaron was in front of him this time.

Which made Nicky sigh and tell Aaron he couldn’t push Neil out of the emergency exit.

That’d been the end of talking on the plane.

 

Lost in thought, it took Neil a moment to realize someone was knocking on his door. “What?” he called.

“Let me in,” Andrew said. Neil glanced at the clock. It’d been over two hours since they’d gotten home and Neil had been too worried to remember to go put on underwear. How many clothes was he taking off?

“Okay,” Neil said trying to keep his voice even. He got up, opening the door slowly and letting Andrew slip inside. It already felt intimate and Neil took a deep breath as he locked the door again. “So uhhh… what do you want me to do?”

Andrew turned around, holding a file folder in his hand.

Neil reached up to scratch the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at Andrew.

“Like if I take everything off I’m not wearing underwear…” Neil said awkwardly. “Is that okay?” he asked finally looking at Andrew.

“You can go put underwear on,” Andrew said.

“Uhh I don’t have any except the dirty pair I wore the other day,” Neil said. He kind of wanted to tell Andrew to leave and come back in so they could start over.

Awkward and embarrassed were newish feelings to Neil and he did not like them. His palms were sweaty and his face was hot and his dick was kind of interested in the idea of being naked in front of Andrew and Neil had no idea how Andrew would feel if Neil got hard in front of him.

“What ever you are comfortable with,” Andrew said.

Neil thought about it for a moment. It was Andrew. And because it was Andrew, Neil pulled his shirt over his head and waited a beat before pushing his jeans off.

His torso was the messiest, covered in jagged lines and various burns and puckered bullet holes. His things were mostly covered in thick gashes that’d been crudely stitched together and some burns.

Andrew stepped close; reaching up and placing his hand in the perfect print of an iron on Neil’s skin.

“I can remember the pain, but not the why,” Neil said quietly. “My dad did it.”

Andrew’s fingers traced down lines and over ribs to the first pulse gun burn and then the second. It was like he was connecting the dots. His palm was warm and fingers gently pressed against bullet holes.

He walked around Neil, peeling the bandage of the pulse gun burn. It was tender, but the skin was pink and healing. He could feel Andrew tracing his father’s initials that had been carved into his back.

Neil held his breath. Andrew circled him again, hands dropping down Neil’s sides to his thighs. Neil clamped his mouth shut as Andrew’s rough fingers caressed his thighs. He should have just put on the damn dirty underwear. Andrew being so close to his junk was going to literally kill Neil. What an embarrassing way to go.

Neil felt flushed all the way down his chest and let out a tense breath when Andrew finally stood up.

Andrew put his fingers and palm back over the iron burn. He looked into Neil’s eyes. Neil could see pain, but it was gone in a flash.

“I brought my brain scans.”

Neil glanced at the folder Andrew had brought.

“Okay,” Neil said. Andrew pulled himself out of Neil’s space and Neil instantly missed the heat of his body.

He watched Andrew turn on the projection screen to a blank channel and then place four scans up against the light. They were brilliant. Neil didn’t know much about the scans, but different colors highlighted different key parts of the brain.

On Andrew’s there were lots of white parts in the frontal lobe; scarred tissue. And the colors were all warped and twisted in the temporal lobe, like it had been moved around and put back together wrong. There were some out of place pieces in the rest of his brain, but it was mostly those two areas with the most work done.

“I got these taken when I was thirteen,” Andrew said. “I used the medical library to compare my brain with all other brains that had been scanned. I looked up people who had messed up brains and they were all in hospitals being treated for insanity.”

“These are amazing,” Neil said. He’d scanned his own brain a bit. There’d been a faint wave or twist here and there to high light why certain things were easier for him. But nothing like Andrew’s.

Neil traced over the scarred areas.

“Aaron thinks I have brain damage and while I do, it’s not a hindrance. He thinks because of the damage to my brain, he has to protect me. I told him about my life and he blamed the brain damage. He lashes out at you because he thinks the damage is too much for me to make rational decisions. That’s what he tells himself to understand it all.”

“You’re still you,” Neil said.

“He thinks I’m me because my brain was fucked with.”

“Maybe,” Neil said looking back at Andrew. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

“No it doesn’t,” Andrew said, holding Neil’s gaze for a long time. Neil became increasingly aware that he was still naked and getting hard under Andrew’s heavy stare. But it also didn’t matter because it was Andrew.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked. Neil worked his dry throat.

“Yes,” he whispered.

Andrew stepped into his space. Neil kept his hands at his sides, but let Andrew place his hands on his chest. He exhaled slowly before Andrew captured his mouth in a searing kiss. Neil’s entire body felt like it’d been lit up. His toes curled and he clenched his hands into fists.

Andrew licked into Neil’s mouth, stepping closer so that Neil’s heavy cock was pressed tightly between Neil and Andrew’s thigh.

Neil groaned into the kiss, dying for Andrew to touch him more. But he didn’t want to push it. Told himself to take what he was given. Every lick and kiss and nip.

Andrew’s fingers dug into Neil’s flesh keeping him semi-tethered to the ground. If Andrew moved any closer, Neil would combust. He loved the drag of Andrew’s lips against his and the touch of Andrew’s palm on his chest. Andrew’s jeans were rough, but his thigh was hot and hard and Neil wanted to rock against it.

His brain was definitely short circuiting as he panted, hungry for another kiss and another. Andrew bit Neil’s bottom lip and Neil groaned, shifting against Andrew’s thigh.

“Can I touch you?” Andrew murmured. Neil’s mind felt hazy, but he remembered to breathe out yes to Andrew.

Andrew’s hands slid over Neil’s skin, wrapping around him, and then going down, down, down to cup and squeeze Neil’s ass. Neil’s breath caught as Andrew groped and pushed his thigh against Neil. Neil, overwhelmed, managed half a groan before his eyes rolled back and he came on Andrew’s pants.

He held Neil tight as Neil came down from his high. He felt loose and pliant and never wanted Andrew to let him go.

But Andrew moved Neil to the bed and set him down gently. Neil looked up at him, dazed.

“Stop smiling like an idiot,” Andrew said and then took his scans and left.

Neil lay naked and sleepy on the bed sideways. He knew he should get up and clean up. But his body and mind had no desire to do either.

So, he continued to stare at the ceiling and replayed everything in his mind.


	14. Bonus Chapter 13 Andrew's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @TheBashfulPoet gave me the idea for a little bonus chapter. This is chapter 13 from Andrew's POV. It was very hard to write and I'm not the confident in writing Andrew from Andrew's mind, but I hope you like it. It's quite a whirlwind and turned out longer than I planned haha oops. Enjoy!!

**ANDREW'S POV**

 

The flight left Andrew exhausted. His entire body felt heavy and lethargic. He watched Neil dart off to his room. He’d stayed; given himself over to Andrew.

When Kevin had chosen to stay it was an easy transaction built because Kevin had no other options. He needed someone to stand between him and Riko and Andrew would be that person. Kevin had been at rock bottom and Andrew was the one reaching into the hole to pull him out. The only one who could.

Neil was different. He was a fascination that was supposed to disappear with the drugs, not become Andrew’s new drug of choice. Neil postured and fronted as if to scare Andrew off, but it only pulled Andrew in closer.

Neil didn’t need him. Neil _chose_ to need him. He chose to stay. Andrew had offered all he could and Neil felt that was enough. He’d expected it to not be enough. Andrew expected all his calculated moves to fall short.

But Neil hadn’t turned away yet. He pushed and pulled and acted as if he were ready to jump ship, but he never did.

Neil was stupid. Andrew could protect him. Andrew could do anything. But Neil wasn’t at rock bottom. He didn’t need Andrew. And he was stupid because he chose Andrew anyway.

That annoyed Andrew.

“He’s still here,” Kevin said, crossing his arms. Neil wasn’t a threat to Kevin. He never had been. But Kevin saw everyone as a threat.

Andrew waved Kevin off with a dismissive flick of his fingers and went to his room. He shut and locked the door and tried not to think about Neil. Neil who uprooted emotions in Andrew that were buried deep down and forgotten. Neil who pulled out emotions he hated the most.

Fear was still fresh in his mind. It’d choked him as he raced through the gates.

Neil who tried to cling to Andrew like he was drowning. Who kissed like it was his last breath. It was infuriating. It was exhilarating.

Andrew let out a slow breath before going to the lock box under his bed. He twisted the dial and opened the box to look at the contents. A single file folder with worn edges and a faded label.

DOE, ANDREW

He picked up the folder and pulled out the four scans. When he was thirteen he’d gone to a free clinic in the Lower Level. He had to get in an old-fashioned tube that screamed in his ears while computing images of his brain.

He supposed the doctor was nice. He didn’t say anything when he handed Andrew the images, but gave him the password to look at the medical library of brain scans.

The busy body nurse tutted when she saw all the scarred tissue in his frontal lobe. Said it was from invasive procedures that weren’t thought out. Experimenting she said.

It was all horrifying. There were over 200 similar matches to Andrew’s scans. All were of people born in the last 20 years and every single one listed residency at a psych ward for insanity.

When Andrew made it back to midtown, he’d puked all over the ground on the other side of the gate. A Robocop had gotten mad at him, beeping loudly, and Andrew chucked a rock at it. The face plate cracked and Andrew was fined. His foster parents hadn’t been happy.

When he showed Aaron, he freaked. Said that the scarred tissue was evidence of brain damage and was the reason Andrew was _the way he was_. Andrew said he’d always been who he was and the brain damage wasn’t a big factor. Aaron listed off his actions that weren’t normal, pointing to the scans as he did. Andrew told him his outward appearance and actions were because of the life he’d lived. It was his shell, his protection from every person, every hand taking pieces of him away when he said no. When he begged for them to stop.

“They never stopped, Aaron. That’s why. It’s not because people tried to alter my emotions. I still have emotions.”

“You have violence, Andrew because someone rooted around in your brain and fucked it up.”

Maybe there was partial truth in it, but Andrew had other emotions. Ones that were either beaten out of him or forced deep down inside.

Neil thought he was vulnerable because of the scars he wore on his skin. Andrew understood that because he too had scars. But Neil wasn’t vulnerable showing them to Andrew. Andrew wouldn’t add to them just as Neil hadn’t added to his scars.

Andrew would be the only one vulnerable in that room.

He knocked on Neil’s door hearing Neil call out.

“Let me in,” Andrew said. Neil opened the door, letting Andrew slid in. Andrew held his folder tight. Being near Neil was intoxicating. The first time he saw him, he  told himself it had to be a side effect. He’d never felt any of the feelings before the drugs.

But then his system was flushed and he found himself outside of Neil’s door while Neil complained and huffed. It’d been easier when Neil didn’t understand. The alarm bells didn’t go off until Neil was on to him.

“So uhhhhh… what do you want me to do?” Neil asked. Andrew turned to look at him. He wanted to tell Neil to stop being afraid. But Andrew was afraid too. Not of what Neil would show him, but of how he’d react to Neil giving and giving and giving while he was eager to take everything from Neil. “Like if I take everything off I’m not wearing underwear…” Neil added. “Is that okay?”

Andrew stared at him. He wasn’t surprised. Nothing with Neil was easy. “You can go put underwear on,” Andrew said flatly. He watched Neil fidget.

“Uhh the only pair I have are the dirty ones from the other day,” Neil said. Andrew wanted to roll his eyes. He couldn’t though because he wanted to see Neil naked. It’d been a long time since he wanted to see someone naked.

“What ever you are comfortable with,” Andrew told Neil. Giving him an out. Seeing the scars on his chest would be enough.

But Neil being Neil took it all off. Andrew crossed the room without a hesitation and pressed his fingers to the iron shaped burn. He’d wanted to since he first saw it. The skin was smooth and rubbery. Neil was talking, but Andrew focused on the way everything settled in his memory.

Andrew had been hit before. Nasty purple bruises like the faded ones on Neil’s face. Backhanded, punched, kicked… never a broken bone and never a permanent mark…

He moved his fingers to the pulse burns. The skin was rough and discolored from lack of proper treatment. They would have blistered. The jagged lines were white across Neil’s pale skin. He tried to think of blood pooling in the gashes and slowly dripping down Neil’s skin as he held himself together.

Andrew had only been made to bleed in one place.

His fingers went to the bullet wounds. They’d all missed internal organs and bones. Andrew had been threated with a real gun once.

He went around to Neil’s back. He pulled away the bandage. The skin was pink and healing nicely as it was tended to with care. None of Neil’s other wounds had been tended to with care. They all screamed at Andrew full of anger and sadness and fear.

The new burn ignited those emotions in Andrew. But seeing that it was healing, soothed him as well.

He frowned as he traced the initials in Neil’s back. When Andrew was nine, his foster father threatened to do that to Andrew if he didn’t follow instructions. He always talked about how he wanted to mark Andrew’s pure skin.

Nausea rushed through Andrew. This was about Neil, not him.

He moved to Neil’s thighs. Gashes and another pulse burn. He mapped out the scars that covered the tense muscles of Neil’s thighs. Andrew felt the soft skin and wanted to press a kiss to it. He wanted to press his lips to all the scars.

Give, give, give. Take, take, take.

Andrew stood. Neil’s eyes were dilated and he was holding his breath. Andrew put his hand back over the iron burn. His hand fit perfectly and his hands weren’t small.

He looked Neil in the eye. He was beautiful. He was so beautiful and Andrew knew he had no idea.

“I brought my scans,” Andrew said before anxiety changed his mind.

“Okay,” Neil whispered. Andrew went to the projection screen, turning it to a blank channel, and set up his scans. He’d expected Neil to get dressed, but he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t.

“I got these taken when I was thirteen,” Andrew said. “I used the medical library to compare my brain with all other brains that had been scanned. I looked up people who had messed up brains and they were all in hospitals being treated for insanity.” He looked away from the scans. He’d put himself out in the open in a way he hadn’t since Aaron. Fear twisted inside of Andrew, so he looked to Neil.

Andrew let himself for a moment, admire Neil fully on display. It made his fingers and palms tingle and his mouth water. He’d been attracted to men before. He’d been properly intimate with a man before. But none of it was like the desire that curled in Andrew like a fire threatening to burn him to ash.

He wanted to touch and he knew Neil would give and he would take. He wanted his mouth on Neil. Everywhere on Neil.

“These are amazing,” Neil said, pulling Andrew’s attention to his scans. It caught Andrew off guard. Not many people had seen the scans, but those who had didn’t use the word amazing. Andrew saw a wrecked puzzle full of dead space. There was nothing amazing about it. It was just a mess.

“Aaron thinks I have brain damage and while I do, it’s not a hindrance. He thinks because of the damage to my brain, he has to protect me. I told him about my life and he blamed the brain damage. He lashes out at you because he thinks the damage is too much for me to make rational decisions. That’s what he tells himself to understand it all.” Admitting it all to Neil sent a sick rush through Andrew. When he was little, he’d been vulnerable and he’d been used in the worst ways. He knew Neil wouldn’t, but the little kid in Andrew screamed from the back of his mind to stop before he got hurt.

But it was Neil.

And Neil hadn’t hurt him even when he’d had ample opportunity. Neil could have taken from Andrew when he was sick in bed, but Neil had given before he took. Neil never just took. He understood that something had to be given and he was stupid enough to keep giving Andrew his whole self.

“You’re still you,” Neil said, looking at Andrew.

“He thinks I’m me because my brain was fucked with,” Andrew said. He felt like he was actively picking at a scab Neil had agreed to let heal. But he didn’t know how to stop.

“Maybe,” Neil said dragging his fingers over the scarred parts on the scans. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

The words were enough to make Andrew’s heart thud against his chest.

“No, it doesn’t,” Andrew said holding Neil’s gaze. He didn’t know how Neil did it. He didn’t know how Neil knew exactly what Andrew had always hoped to hear.

Andrew licked his lips. “Yes or no?” he asked.

“Yes,” Neil breathed, snapping something inside of Andrew. In a rush, Andrew crossed the room, placing his hands on Neil’s chest. Letting his fingers dig slightly into the skin. And then he put his mouth on Neil’s. He moved their lips together. Neil washed over him like gasoline; burning the fire in Andrew hot enough to take him alive.

He licked into Neil’s mouth, tasting him and committing it to memory. He licked and sucked and nipped, moving closer. He pushed his thigh against Neil knowing Neil needed it from the soft gasps he made. Andrew needed it too, but he couldn’t give that to Neil yet.

He’d given enough to wear himself ragged for one day. But Neil was still giving, so Andrew would take everything he had to give.

Neil rocked into Andrew slightly, but kept his hands obediently at his sides.

“Can I touch you?” Andrew murmured.

“Yes,” Neil whispered, pushing their mouths back together. Andrew let Neil take over the kiss as he snaked his hands and arms around Neil. The drag of skin on skin was intoxicating.

And very slowly, very carefully, Andrew let his hands slide of Neil’s firm ass. Soft skin, but taut muscle. Andrew felt himself get harder while in his arms, Neil groaned. It was a noise from deep inside himself and when Andrew squeezed his ass, Neil jerked forward and came on Andrew’s thigh.

Andrew moved his hands up to Neil’s back, holding him tight as Neil went boneless. His eyes looked dreamy and he smiled at Andrew. He was happy to give himself to Andrew even after Andrew showed him how fucked up his brain was. Even after Andrew had told him how fucked up his life had been.

He laid Neil on the bed. Part of Andrew wanted to keep holding Neil, but his mind and body were screeching at him to leave and go to his room to recover and decompress. It’d been over a year since any sort of sexual desire caught hold of him, but more alarming was all the emotions Neil uprooted inside of Andrew.

He didn’t feel like he was in control of himself anymore and that feeling usually led to full blown panic. He had to go.

“Stop smiling like an idiot,” Andrew murmured, but there was no aggression in his voice. He was glad that he’d made Neil happy. That’d been the intention. The problem was everything else Andrew was feeling.

He gathered his scans and left; retreating to the safety of his own room. He was glad Neil wasn’t able to see his rocketing heart rate. Panic was choking him as his shaky hands locked away the scans.

Andrew felt scrubbed raw. Not all of it was bad feelings, but the overwhelming rush was causing the panic. He took a shallow breath. It was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, hi I love hurt/comfort so expect some of that in the next chapter~


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for panic attacks. Thank you all so much for all the support and I'm glad people liked Andrew's POV chapter. Enjoy!

Neil woke with a start. His first instinct told him there was an intruder, but the rational part of his brain took over before he found something to use as a weapon. This was the Upper Ring and more importantly, it was Andrew’s apartment.

Still, Neil was alert when he slipped out of bed and opened the door. The condo was dark except for light from the laundry room.

Neil glanced back at the clock. It was just past four in the morning.

“Andrew?” Neil called softly as he crossed the hall to the laundry room. He peeked in to see Andrew in front of the washing unit. The detergent pod box was on the floor; the colorful pods scattered everywhere. “Andrew,” Neil said again. Andrew’s back was to Neil, but he could see Andrew’s hair was damp from a shower.

“Go to bed, Neil,” Andrew said flatly. He didn’t move. Neil looked at the floor. The box was cracked as if it’d been thrown at the floor.

“Why are you doing laundry at four in the morning?” Neil asked.

“I needed clean sheets,” Andrew said.

“None of them were clean?” Neil asked.

“None of them were clean,” Andrew said. Neil looked from the floor to Andrew trying to understand.

“Do you need help cleaning up?” Neil asked.

“No,” Andrew told him, but still made no mood to clean up.

“Did you throw them on the floor?” Neil asked quietly, carefully.

Andrew said nothing.

Neil moved into the laundry room. Crossing the cold tiles and giving Andrew space. He looked into the washing unit.

“How many sheets are in here?” Neil asked. It was jammed full.

“All of them,” Andrew said.

“All of them were dirty and you didn’t realize until now?” Neil asked.

“No, all of them are dirty right now,” Andrew said, confusing Neil.

“Can I take some out? You need to do two loads.”

“No,” Andrew said with more bite. “They all need to be washed.”

“Andrew-”

“Neil!” Andrew snapped, startling Neil. Neil looked at Andrew to see his hands shaking. Shaking badly.

“Andrew, what?!” Neil asked alarmed.

“I have to do the laundry,” he said, his flat voice returning. It was so even compared to his shaking hands.

“Andrew, I don’t get it. You can’t wash all this at the same time,” Neil said. “It’s okay. You don’t pay extra to wash, so two loads is okay,” Neil said gently. “Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?” Neil had done research for new contacts. Having them now would have lessened Neil’s worry. “Your hands…” Neil pointed out.

“I know. I couldn’t get the detergent open,” Andrew said. He still hadn’t moved at all.

“So, you threw it?” Neil asked.

“Yes,” Andrew said. Neil looked at the floor.

“Do you have a fever? You look flushed,” Neil said confused.

“It was the showers,” Andrew said.

“Okay, but Andrew I don’t know what’s going on,” Neil said feeling lost. He looked at Andrew and then the laundry and then back at Andrew. He wanted to reach out and take hold of Andrew’s shaking hands, but he knew that was a good way to get hit.

“Go to bed, Neil,” Andrew said.

“Not when there’s obviously something wrong,” Neil said crossing his arms. “Just tell me. Are you feeling okay? Maybe you got sick on the plane? Or overheated in the shower?”

“No,” Andrew said, finally turning to Neil. He stared at Neil for a beat. Neil’s heart was thudding in his chest. Andrew looked completely _fine_ but his hands were still violently shaking.

“Andrew-”

“I’m having a panic attack, Neil,” Andrew said flatly, but it was like bursting a damn in Neil. Neil brought his hands up, but didn’t touch Andrew. He held them palms up to him.

“What can I do?” Neil asked softly. Andrew stared at him for a long moment.

“I don’t know,” Andrew said. Neil looked to the laundry.

“I’m going to fix this so that we can start the load, okay? They’ll all get washed, I promise,” Neil said, slowly reaching in to pull a tangle of sheets out. There had to be at least eight sheets inside. Top and bottom and pillow cases.

Neil didn’t comment that all the sheets he dropped into the laundry basket smelled like soap and not Andrew.

Neil bent down to get a detergent pod when Andrew grabbed the back of his shirt. Neil looked at him over his shoulder. “Is this any better?” he asked, starting the washing unit.

“No,” Andrew said twisting his fingers in Neil’s shirt.

“Okay, how about we sit here,” Neil said taking a seat on the cold floor. Andrew sat in front of Neil, knees almost touching and one arm stretched to hold onto Neil’s shirt. Neil reached up, holding his hands on either side of Andrew’s head. “Just look at me,” he said and Andrew frowned. “Was it the sexual stuff?” Neil asked.

“No,” Andrew said immediately.

“Was it the scans?” Neil asked.

“Yes,” Andrew said. Neil wanted to pull Andrew to him and hold him tight, but he kept his hands near Andrew’s head to focus Andrew’s attention on him instead.

“I’m going to touch your hand,” Neil said. Andrew nodded. Neil took Andrew’s other shaking hand and brought it up to his pulse. He pushed Andrew’s fingers against his pulse and let go. Andrew kept his fingers on Neil. “Shut your eyes,” Neil said. He wasn’t sure if Andrew would comply, but after a moment Andrew let his eyes slip shut.

And Neil started quietly talking. He talked about cities and highways. Sunsets and sunrise. The life in the Lower Level. The research he’d done on various medical procedures to perfect his own. He talked about Exy until Andrew grunted at him and Neil moved on to talking about what food he liked to eat.

Andrew’s hands stopped shaking at some point. The spell was broken when the timer for the laundry went off. Neil stood, taking warm sheets out of the wash and putting the others in for cleaning. He folded the sheets while Andrew watched him.

Neil put the warm sheets in Andrew’s lap and went about picking up the detergent pods. When he was done, he sat with Andrew again. Neil offered upturned hands and Andrew put their palms together.

“I need to go get supplies from Roland’s tomorrow. I also want to look into some more contacts. It’s been nice without them, but I need them,” Neil said.

“Okay,” Andrew said. “We will go later.”

Neil didn’t ask if Andrew meant going with Neil on all his errands, but he didn’t ask. At the point he kind of expected Andrew to be his shadow. He just hoped it wouldn’t cause unnecessary issues.

They sat in silence while the washing unit ran. Neil felt sleepy as Andrew traced his fingers over the insides of Neil’s wrists. Neil remained still with his hands relaxed.

“You have that stupid look on your face,” Andrew said at last.

“Mmm I’m tired,” Neil murmured.

“Go to bed, Neil,” Andrew said flatly.

“Have to make sure you’re okay,” Neil said with a sleepy grin. He watched Andrew roll his eyes.

“I’m fine now,” Andrew said as the washing unit buzzed.

“Mmm,” Neil hummed. Andrew took his hands away and knelt up. He took Neil’s hand and pressed Neil’s fingers to his steady pulse. “I’m glad you’re okay now,” Neil whispered.

“Go to bed,” Andrew told him, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. Neil smiled up at him. Andrew scowled.

Neil laughed as he stood. He watched Andrew pull the sheets out and begin folding them. He yawned. All of it had been kind of bizarre, but Andrew was okay again and that was all Neil cared about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Andrew has a panic attack he tends to get kind of obsessive about cleaning his sheets and taking a shower because when he was younger, after he was r****, he would clean his sheets and shower so that no one knew. So now, his panic draws out those emotions and exacerbates them. (ie he changed his sheets multiple times until he was out of sheets and took multiple showers and needed to wash the sheets so he could put clean ones on even though most were already clean)
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter! I like to think of it as Andrew Your Possessiveness Is Showing.

Neil was rudely woken by pounding on his bedroom door. He expected Andrew, but instead got a face full of sweatshirt as Kevin barked at him to put it on and get moving.

“Where are we going?” Neil asked. Kevin looked at him for a moment before saying, “We’re going running.”

“Oh,” Neil said pulling the sweatshirt on. He wondered why the change in heart in Kevin, but got no answer as they ran. Every time he tried to talk to Kevin, Kevin shut him down and told him to focus on running.

Eventually, Neil got the hint and focused on the path. The stretch and burn in his muscles felt good. He thought about the night and how vulnerable Andrew had been and how he let Neil help. Neil had had his fair share of panic attacks before. Most of them right after his mother died and he had to do everything himself. But he didn’t know if he’d have been able to let someone help him through one. Even if it was Andrew.

Neil followed Kevin out onto an empty dock overlooking an empty lake. Neil stood behind Kevin wondering if he should ask if Kevin was about to drown him.

“You were so hard to find and now you won’t go away,” Kevin said without looking at Neil.

“I’ve been told I’m a bad habit,” Neil said with a shrug. Kevin looked at him over his shoulder.

“Riko will find you and he will find out what you do. Your trail might be cold, but it’s not non-existent.”

“Are you threatening me, Kevin Day?” Neil asked.

“No I’m giving you a warning. Everyone else is too stupid to warn you that hanging around is dangerous and not because of Andrew. When Riko realizes Andrew has a new fascination, he’ll start hunting you.”

“Why? Because Andrew took his favorite toy?”

“You need to take this seriously,” Kevin snapped.

“I can handle my own, thanks,” Neil said. Riko, while a threat, didn’t worry Neil. Yet. The day Riko Moriyama actually knocked on his door was the day Neil would start to worry. Besides, he was sure Riko had other people he’d rather torture.

“You are stupid,” Kevin said. Neil rolled his eyes.

“Kevin, as helpful as this little chat has been, I’ve had a target on my back since the day I was born. Going back to the lower level isn’t going to make Riko stop watching you or Andrew. Andrew is a target whether or not I’m around,” Neil said. From the look on Kevin’s face, Neil half expected him to deck him. And then drown him.

But Kevin did neither, choosing instead to stomp on off the deck and leaving Neil to find his own way back.

 

“Where were you?” Andrew asked from the couch when Neil stumbled inside the condo.

“I got lost,” Neil said wrenching open the fridge and pulling out a premade protein shake. Andrew was supposed to be drinking them, but Neil had been downing them instead while Andrew ate other food that Kevin probably wouldn’t approve of. “Kevin thinks I’m a threat to you now.”

“I’m not surprised,” Andrew said, keeping his eyes on the TV.

“I don’t think he wants to share,” Neil said with a shrug.

“I don’t think Kevin Day learned to share. It was all give and take and take and take,” Andrew said. Neil rinsed the empty container. Andrew was probably right about Kevin and sharing.

“When are we going?” Neil asked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Andrew got up and went to Neil.

“After you take that hideous thing off,” Andrew said. Neil looked at him confused.

“You gave me the exact same sweatshirt,” Neil told him as he walked off. Neil rolled his eyes and took off Kevin’s sweatshirt anyway.

 

It was strange that it felt strange to be back in his work space. His tiny apartment was the same as he left it with maybe just a bit more dust. The neon Chinese Food sign didn’t turn off in the day though. That was the only thing that was different.

Neil unpacked boxes and put things in locked cabinets while Andrew sat under the harsh light above the operating chair. The light made Andrew look ethereal.

Neil kept pausing his work to look at Andrew bathed in the steril light. It turned his hair white and his skin to gold. Whenever Neil caught is eye, it looked almost like he had no pupil as they were tiny pinpricks in a sea of gold washing over jade.

He sat a king on his throne, arms resting in his lap while he stared at nothing in particular. But when Neil turned back to rows of cabinets and locks, he felt those eyes mapping out every inch of him, every movement.

All product was accounted for and everything looked legitimate. Neil didn’t skimp and by off brand unless he was buying something important directly from the factory.

Like his lenses.

“What brand are your glasses?” Neil asked. Andrew stared at him from his throne.

“Felix,” Andrew said. Neil nodded.

“So, they were bought in midtown?”

“Obviously,” Andrew said. They were the brand Neil’s mother would buy. She showed him how to strip all programming off them so that they could be used as a base. Then she’d manually load the programs and have them feed into a private database instead of a government owned one.

“I buy directly from the factory before they are loaded up and sold,” Neil said heading upstairs. Andrew said nothing, but went to the kitchen to flick on the coffee maker. Neil watched him for a moment. “You can’t wear that coat where we’re going. You’ll get mugged the second someone catches a wiff of the fabric.”

Andrew looked at Neil who was holding out his coat for him.

“Put it on,” Neil said, pulling Andrew’s black sweatshirt over his head. He was feeling jittery about the deal. He didn’t _like_ putting himself in a possibly dangerous position, but it was part of the life. Part of the job.

He wiped sweaty palms on his jeans. Guns weren’t allowed in midtown, but he’d have a knife. He already told Andrew if things become messy to just meet at the gates into uptown. Thugs would never get through them.

Neil watched Andrew put his coat on. It was loose on Neil, oversized and baggy and while it was still too big on Andrew, it hugged his arms and chest in a way Neil decided he really liked.

“Stop staring and pour coffee,” Andrew said moving to pass Neil. Neil nodded, eyes tracking Andrew.

Andrew went into the bathroom and Neil poured the coffee. He made Andrew’s how he liked it before putting his own mug to his lips. He was disappointed when he thought about how it tasted like a dirty rag and the Upper Ring had better coffee. He’d always promised himself he wouldn’t get addicted to better food.

Neil handed Andrew his mug. Neil tried not to think about the monotony he was returning to. He was out of reasons for Andrew to keep him around. He was going to return to his days of illegal surgery and zoning out to ignore every thought his brain would rather have.

It used to be thoughts of his mother and her disgust for everything he ever did, but now they were thoughts of Andrew and how he was a heated presence at Neil’s side.

One he would miss like thoughts of summer on a frigid day.

Longingly.

“Let’s go,” Andrew said putting his empty mug down. Neil nodded. The jittery nervousness had been replaced by feelings Neil wasn’t used to. He wasn’t sure what to do about it.

 

Entering midtown was easy. People clogged the main street by the gates going in and out of the market shops. The heavy smell of cooking meat hung in the air. Neil had walked down the street many times, slipping into the crowd and letting it ebb and flow around him. He’d get sucked away until he was deposited where he needed to go.

There’d been a recent familiarity with going straight to Andrew’s car though. One Neil kind of missed, knowing today Andrew would leave for the last time.

They walked side by side, pressed shoulder to shoulder. The crowd batted against them as they pushed forward.

It was a long walk. The market turned to regular stores and then houses. After the houses came the darker buildings in the poorest part of midtown. The people there barely clung to their status. Every street person they passed looked at Neil with drug eyes. Their bony bodies sheltered in tattered clothes moved toward Neil and Andrew like flowers to the sun.

Andrew didn’t look phased. He moved along as if it were any other street. Neil nodded toward a shop.

They went inside the closed bar and Neil went to the counter. He taped a gold card on the sterile bar and waited. Andrew stood a few feet behind him.

Neil was used to these deals. In and out. He’d bought from the dealer before and trusted the product. Having his contacts back would be nice. He liked being able to identify people around him. It saved him from turning into a paranoid wreck.

A short, stocky man hobbled out holding a box. Neil traded the card for the box. He inspected the contacts while the man ran the card through a scanner under the bar.

Neil popped the contacts into his eyes. The AR stunned him for a moment as they focused. Everything was sharper, but the screens were clear. He’d program them at his apartment, but having them back was a relief. It’d been a nearly two weeks and it’d been two weeks too long.

The door banged open. Three people covered in CAT skin stalked through the bar holding pulse guns. Neil shuddered, turning back to hold his hand out for the card. The owner ignored Neil, pointing his own pulse gun at the new comers.

Neil wanted to leave, but he had to jump through numerous hoops to get that card and he didn’t want to do it again. He held out his hand, but the owner ignored him.

Everything was at a standstill for a moment. The entire room was silent before the slow hum of the pulse guns clicked in.

It was soft, but felt like a roar in Neil’s ears.

His spine tingled at the memory and his back burned like hot needles being pressed into his flesh.

The hand he was holding out started to shake.

The first pulse gun went off and Neil jerked backwards hard. He stumbled, almost falling, but was caught by Andrew. The owner went down and the three went forward.

Neil jumped into action, vaulting over the bar and snatching his card out of the twitching owners hand.

“Don’t,” one of the people said when Neil went to stand. He tried to keep his breathing even as the pulse gun pressed against his back.

There was a different click and Neil braced for the shot.

“Now, now,” Andrew said. Neil opened his eyes. He hadn’t been hit. The pulse gun moved and Neil stood up automatically and bashed his head against an elbow.

“Fuck!” he swore as his mouth flooded with blood. He looked at Andrew and his eyes went wide. “Andrew!” he shouted.

“Let’s go Neil,” Andrew said simply like he wasn’t holding Neil’s real gun.

“Andrew!”

“Let’s go, Neil,” Andrew said harsher.

Neil went around the bar, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He snapped bloody teeth at the person closest to him as he passed.

They walked out the front door.

 

When Neil’s heartrate returned to normal, he glared at Andrew. “Do you want to get arrested? A gun? In midtown?!” he snapped.

Andrew didn’t look at him, just sighed.

“How did you even get a gun through the gate?!”

That made Andrew turn. “You mask the metal of the gun with a code strip,” Andrew told Neil. Neil had done that numerous times for his laptop and other equipment, but never thought to do it for a gun.

“Oh,” Neil said as the gates turned green and let them through. He watched Andrew cross through with the gun under his clothes. Neil followed him.

In the apartment, Andrew went to the sink and got a wet rag. Neil touched his split lip with his fingers. They came away bloody and his mouth still tasted like iron.

“Andrew…” Neil whispered. Andrew dragged the rag across Neil’s lips and chin. He wiped the blood clean, fingers gently holding Neil’s face. Neil’s heart thudded in his chest just like it had the first time.

“You’re always getting hurt,” Andrew murmured, pressing his thumb to Neil’s lower lip.

“Too bad you’re leaving,” Neil said, meaning for it to sound light, but instead it hurt. The words were heavy on his tongue and left an ache in his chest.

“Who said I was leaving alone?” Andrew asked, eyes flashing concern. His thumb pressed harder against Neil’s lip and he stepped closer.

“There’s no reason…” Neil started. Andrew turned cold eyes to him.

“You said that. You’ve been saying it all day. I told you to stay,” Andrew said almost sounded annoyed.

“But I...” Neil trailed off.

“You want to stay?” Andrew asked, dragging his hand down to hold the back of Neil’s neck. His lips hovered over Neil’s for a moment before kissing him softly. So softly. “I want you to stay,” he whispered against Neil’s lips.

“I want to stay,” Neil echoed. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

And those were words that broke something in Neil. Like he’d been a bird in a cage and he finally found the key to the lock.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I call this chapter the Picky Eater vs the Human Garbage Can, please enjoy!! And as always, thank you for all the lovely comments and support!!

Neil forgot that it was mentioned that Andrew and went with his people to Roland’s club. He lived in the condo for a week, leaving twice to do work in the Lower Level, and going on silent runs with Kevin. Everyone seemed to catch on that Neil was a permanent fixture, except Aaron who looked at Neil like he was literally a turd in front of Aaron’s face.

Neil did his best to ignore it, but he was bad at keeping his mouth shut.

But the five of them, Neil, Andrew, Kevin, Nicky, and Aaron had piled into Andrew’s car and ridden down to the gates at the Lower Level. Unlike most of Neil’s clothes, the thick peacoat was brand new. He wouldn’t have taken it except for after returning from getting new contacts, Andrew stripped off Neil’s ratty coat and tossed it into the trash bin. He then told Neil if he touched it he’d set it on fire while Neil wore it.

Neil crossed his arms in annoyance and Andrew shut his bedroom door in Neil’s face. Neil flipped off the door and thought about getting the coat, but eventually decided to just leave it.

 

After that, things were filled with lots of kissing and Neil couldn’t complain. Since Kevin stayed mostly in his room, Andrew would sometimes kiss Neil in the kitchen or the laundry room or even on the couch in the living room.

Every touch from Andrew sent tingles up Neil’s spine and made him feel hot all over. He’d watch Andrew’s heartrate spike and smirk. A smirk that Andrew was very keen on wiping off Neil’s face with a brush of lips and swipe of tongue.

When Neil got mouthy with Aaron, Andrew dealt with it later. Taking Neil’s chin in a tight hold, Andrew told Neil he talked too much. Neil would nod. Andrew would place his fingers on Neil’s lips. The split one was healing nicely, but the drag of Andrew’s fingers felt like they were ripping Neil right back open, but in a good way. That lead to Andrew pushing two fingers into Neil’s mouth after Neil breathed out yes.

He’d push his fingers against Neil’s tongue and Neil would wrap his tongue around Andrew’s fingers until he was a drooling mess. Neil liked it and he assumed Andrew did since he did it often.

 

Staying with Andrew also meant Andrew invited Neil to go with them places. Or at least Neil assumed it was an invitation.

“Put these on, we’re leaving at nine,” Andrew had said handing Neil a bag when he returned from practice. Neil was in the middle of eating Andrew’s pre-portioned salmon meal Kevin had bought even though Andrew told him he didn’t eat fish.

Or rather, Neil was making a fish meal and Andrew said, “I hate fish.”

So Neil told Kevin to stop trying to put fish into Andrew’s mouth, but he wasn’t sure why he chose the wording.

“Oh uh… I okay. I made the stir fry one for you,” Neil said pointing to the counter. It hadn’t taken long for Neil to figure out what Andrew did and didn’t eat. Or notice that if left to his own devices Andrew ate shit considering he was an athlete.

Neil would have gladly eaten everything in the fridge. There were clear labels on Kevin and Andrew food, but Neil had noticed that there were extra meals in Andrew’s section most likely for Neil to eat. Kevin never asked what Neil wanted to eat, but ordered the groceries anyways.

Andrew took the meal off the counter and disappeared to his room. Neil looked into the bag to find jeans, a long sleeve, the peacoat, and another package of underwear. Neil rolled his eyes. He was wearing underwear now that Andrew had stuffed his dresser drawers full of it.

Neil had brought his few measly personal belongings to Andrew’s condo. In Neil’s apartment, his few Exy magazines and various tools had looked normal. In a fancy room, they just looked like trash someone left while moving. Neil kept everything anyway.

 

It was weird to enter Roland’s club through the front door. The neon blues and purples mixed together in the dark to cast shadows over everyone. Neil glanced at the windows. None of the people were looking his way.

He followed Andrew through a tight corridor towards the pulsating music. Projections lit up the walls showing all kinds of pornography and erotica imaginable.

Neil stared at Andrew’s back as they moved into the main room. It was huge and filled to the brim with all kinds of people. The air was thick and already making Neil sweat. The tables were under neon blue lights while the bar and dance floor were bathed in purple.

The crowd swallowed them up as they went to the bar. Roland poured them shots, nodding to Neil who he knew didn’t drink.

The shots were filled again and again, the glass twinkling under the lights full of liquor that burned like small amber fires in each glass. Then came glasses full of colorful liquor Neil couldn’t name. Andrew grabbed the front of Neil’s shirt, pulling him away from the bar while the other three disappeared from sight.

“Aaron is in a relationship?” Neil said to Andrew. They found an empty table and sat on stools in the middle of the ocean.

“Drugs,” Andrew said lightly. Neil gaped. Andrew gave Neil a bored look and picked up his drink. Whatever it was, it shimmered as Andrew turned the glass in his hand. It was kind of mesmerizing. And the more he focused on the glass, the less his contacts freaked out and tried to stick on people. His gaze had caught enough elevated heartrates and names. Unsurprisingly, there were quite a few high profile people inside. People who would probably rip Neil’s throat out if they knew he’d identified them.

“Nicky is in a relationship too,” Neil pointed out.

“Dancing. And open relationships exist, Neil, so does polyamory” Andrew said flatly. Neil guessed he was right about that. But Aaron definitely did not seem like someone who knew how to share.

“And Kevin?”

“Getting fucked,” Andrew said. Neil could only imagine having sex with Kevin being like participating in a work out video. An intense one. He’d seen Kevin at the gym. Neil knew.

He looked up at Andrew again. His gaze was empty and far away while he sipped through his straw. No one approached either of them even though Neil saw plenty of people approach other tables.

The music was deafening. Neil could feel the way the bass forced his heart to beat. It was an odd sensation. Aaron returned at one point, eyes looking miles away. He spoke in Andrew’s ear and Andrew nodded. Neil scanned over Aaron’s vitals trying to guess what he might have taken, but no red flags went up. Flipping Neil off, he left again.

At one point, Andrew went to get another drink and brought water for Neil. Had anyone else handed Neil a drink in a bar like that, Neil would dump it on the floor.

But this was Andrew.

The water tasted fancy. It was either imported or bought from somewhere higher than the lower level. Neil had tasted the shit that came out of his tap and which had forced him to buy a special filter so that it didn’t feel like he was drinking fresh piss.

This water tasted vaguely… something.

“Cucumber,” Andrew said.

“What?”

“’It has cucumber in it. You were making your stupid confused face,” Andrew said drinking his drink. Neil looked at his own glass. He had never drank water with cucumber in it. He’d seen Kevin had a few fancy bottles of infused water in the fridge, but Andrew claimed they tasted gross and he’d rather lick the grass.

Andrew was a picky eater and often gave Neil looks as he ate whatever was put in front of him. Except when it came to desert and Andrew happily, or at least Neil assumed it was happily, ate Neil’s without even asking. Dan had brought in cupcakes and before Neil could decline, Andrew staked claim to Neil’s cupcake and sat contently eating two while Kevin went on and on about keeping on track with the nutritionists instructions.

Dan told him a cupcake wouldn’t kill him and Kevin decided saying it might was a good choice. Everyone laughed. Andrew rolled his eyes.

Nicky wandered back to the table sweaty and grinning. He leaned on the table looking at Neil and Andrew.

“Saw Kevin go with Macy and Tyler tonight. We all know he’ll be thoroughly fucked. Maybe that’ll get the stick out of his ass at practice for awhile.” Nicky said. He’d been complaining all week about Kevin to anyone who would at least pretend to listen. Neil pretended to listen a lot while analyzing practice. Seeing them play regularly and practice gave Neil all sorts of inside tidbits that he ate up with a spoon.

Andrew gave a short nod and Nicky disappeared again.

Time slipped by as Neil drank his fancy water and Andrew sipped his drink. They didn’t really talk. Neil watched Andrew look a thousand miles away. He didn’t comment on Neil’s staring, so Neil wondered if that was because of the alcohol.

Andrew chewed on his straw, eyes vacant, and cheeks flushed from the heavy heat in the room. Neil kind of wanted to kiss him right in that moment. He watched Andrew’s mouth move and thought about how it felt like on his lips and jaw. He could feel the drag of Andrew’s fingers through his hair.

Neil moved his eyes to Andrew’s hair, dyed blue by the light. It looked so soft. It always looked soft even when Andrew pulled off his helmet and his hair was mush down and stuck to his forehead with sweat.

“Time to go,” Andrew said turning his eyes back to Neil. Neil nodded.

As he put on his coat, Nicky returned to the table looking pleasantly buzzed and sleepy. Kevin returned looking almost unrecognizable to Neil. He was relaxed with a pleased stated look on his face. Neil was kind of impressed that it was possible for Kevin to look calm and relaxed.

They filed out of the club into the chilly night. The wind beat their backs as they made their way through the streets to the gates. Neil had his hands shoved deep in his pockets keeping his eyes down. He was sure he looked upper class now that his face was healed and the cast was finally off. And with Andrew leading the group, Neil didn’t look like a child next to Nicky and Kevin.

Out of the wind and in the warm car, Nicky promptly fell asleep. Kevin shut his eyes, leaning his head back. He didn’t open his eyes again, but Neil wasn’t sure he was quite asleep even though the car clock showed that it was past 3 in the morning.

A few minutes into the drive, Neil noticed Andrew nodding off and snapping awake when his head started to drop. His eyelids looked heavy and he ducked his head to yawn into his sleeve. Looking at him made Neil tired too. He yawned.

“You can lean against me, Andrew,” Neil said softly. Andrew turned to him, looking at him with sleepy eyes.

And then he put his head in Neil’s lap. He’d pulled his hood up and the back of his head rested against Neil’s stomach. His hand curled around Neil’s knee and the other one was held to his chest. Neil kind of just stared, not sure what to do or if he should remain still.

Before he could ask, Andrew held out a hand for Neil’s hand. Neil gave it to him and Andrew put Neil’s hand on his head where the hood covered his hair.

“Just here,” Andrew murmured, putting his hand back on Neil’s knee. Neil relaxed, resting his hands lightly on Andrew’s hood above where his ear was.

He was suddenly not tired at all and very much enjoyed having Andrew so close and content. Maybe it was the alcohol and maybe it wasn’t, but either way Neil was happy. The car sped through the night while everyone but Neil slept under the soft, warm light.

Well, Neil didn’t know if Andrew slept. He didn’t move until they were a few blocks from the condo. He woke up and sat up as if he hadn’t been resting in Neil’s lap. He looked at Neil with sleepy eyes and Neil had to swallow a giggle. Andrew scowled at him.

“What?” he hissed. Neil had gotten used to grumpy and cranky Andrew during his stay. But he was smiling because Andrew’s hood had left an imprint on his cheek where it’d been pressed against Neil’s thigh.

It was cute.

“Nothing,” Neil said lightly as the car parked and everyone got out.

“I hate you,” Andrew muttered to Neil as they walked to the elevator. Neil shrugged.

The condo was dark and Andrew bypassed the lights, heading for his room. “Goodnight,” Neil said to Andrew’s back. Andrew turned, still scowling. He walked back to Neil, taking hold of his coat and pulling him close. They stared at each other for a moment before Andrew kissed him roughly. He tasted sweet and like alcohol too.

Neil let his eyes fall shut. He’d wanted this all night and Andrew knew how to deliver.

“Goodnight,” Andrew said with a deep breath. Neil watched him go kind of hoping there’d be a day where he could follow and they’d have another moment like the one in the car.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't like how this chapter turned out. No matter how I rewrote it I wasn't happy, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter called Kevin Needs A Hobby. 
> 
> Another thing, this fic is going to have a part 2 which means this part is nearing the end, so hold on to your butts.
> 
> And third, something weird was happening when I was answering comments, so if for some reason your comment got the wrong response/a response that doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. Enjoy~
> 
> Also there's kind of self harm ish parts. Neil practices doing surgery on himself and he's not in the best place mentally, so it could be viewed as self harm.

Out of everything that had happened in Neil’s life, the afternoon that Kevin Day handed him an Exy stick was the weirdest.

“What the fuck is this?” Neil asked. He’d tagged along to practice in hopes of studying some old games which had become a rather pleasant past time, but Kevin had returned to the lounge and handed the racquet to Neil.

“What?” Kevin asked. Neil shook the stick at him. “I want to assess your skill level,” Kevin said as if Neil was stupid.

“I’ve never played a day in my life,” Neil said. “I’ve been bumming around the lower level or did you forget?” Neil asked.

“And now you’re here, so be useful,” Kevin said. Neil stared at Kevin. The sex he’d had definitely made him less crabby, but it had also apparently made him lose his mind.

“I can’t play,” Neil said stubbornly.

“So then show me you can’t,” Kevin said turning and heading back to the locker room. “Now get dressed. I laid out extra clothes for you.”

Neil watched Kevin leave. He looked at the stick in his hands. He’d never played Exy. He hadn’t even ever thought about playing Exy. It just wasn’t in his cards, so how he ended up with the opportunity he didn’t know.

In the locker room there were clothes waiting for him. Orange shorts and a t-shirt that had Andrew’s name and number on it. The shirt was stretched to fit Andrew’s broad chest, so it’d be perfectly big on Neil. Which meant Andrew knew Kevin was going to offer Neil Exy.

Neil thought about Andrew that morning. It’d been just like every morning. Neil ran with Kevin and then made breakfast for him and Andrew. Andrew stumbled out of his room and grunted at Neil until he drank coffee. They made out a little bit. Neil got to run his fingers through Andrew’s hair while Andrew held Neil’s hips.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

He went to the bathroom and changed in the stall. He looked at his beaten up shoes barely held together. Kevin had asked once why he didn’t spend his money. Neil had shrugged and told him he needed to blend in or save it for an emergency. His mother taught him to, above all else, save money and never let anyone know how much he had.

But maybe he did need new shoes. Nothing fancy, but something that wasn’t threatening to fall apart with each step.

He walked out to the court where the rest of the team was doing warm ups. Wymack nodded to him as he unlocked the door and stepped onto the court.

“Oh what the fuck is this?” Aaron yelled glaring at Neil. Neil stuck out his tongue at him. Nicky held the back of Aaron’s shirt.

“We discussed it with Wymack already,” Dan told him. “Besides, your opinion is the last one we wanted on the matter.” She turned to Neil, holding out her hand. He took it and she led him to Kevin. “We don’t really know what Kevin is doing, but he said I want Neil on the court, so why not? Maybe you’ll be shit and maybe not,” she laughed placing him in front of Kevin.

“Okay,” Neil said not sure what to say or do. He looked at Kevin who was stretching. He looked over to Andrew who was stretching. Was he supposed to stretch? Did he know how to stretch?

Dan patted him on the back and then left, calling the team to center court while Neil stood off to the side with Kevin. He turned back to Kevin.

“Catch this,” Kevin said, tossing Neil the ball before Neil was ready. It smacked him in the shoulder. Neil glared at him.

“What the fuck was that?” he snapped. Kevin ignored him and threw another ball. Neil dodged to the side.

“Catch it!” Kevin shouted at him. He threw another ball and Neil failed to catch it. He was pretty sure he could hear Aaron laughing at him.

 

Neil caught about half the shots Kevin took. He almost had a throw down with Aaron. Kevin purposely threw the ball, hard, at Neil’s shins when Neil got distracted watching Andrew in the goal during a scrimmage. Dan and Matt offered the most encouragement even from halfway across the court. And, by the end, Neil was sure Kevin was the worst teacher out there.

He was sore and bruised, wincing all through his shower and as he pulled his normal clothes back on.

Andrew was waiting for him when he was done.

“Did you know about this?” Neil asked.

“Did you have fun?”

Neil paused. He watched Andrew slowly blink. “Yeah, I did,” Neil said at last. Andrew nodded, holding his hand out. Neil took it, Andrew’s palm warm against his own. Andrew laced their fingers together.

“Kevin went to Wymack and Dan with a power point on why you should be properly trained,” Andrew said as he led Neil out of the locker room. Neil snorted.

“What? Did Kevin need a project or something?” Neil asked. Andrew shrugged.

“I said you’d probably like it when he asked,” Andrew said.

“Are you the mob boss?”

“Yeah,” Andrew said. Neil smiled. It was basically true.

“I did have fun though. I think. Kevin sucks at teaching.”

“I know,” Andrew said. They got into Andrew’s car and headed back to the condo. There was no game that night, but after tomorrows home game there was a three game road trip. Neil didn’t have to ask if he was going. Where Andrew went, he was happy to go.

Tomorrow, he’d go do three surgeries before the game.

Neil looked at Andrew who was staring out the window. Their fingers were still laced together. “You don’t need to keep giving me things to make me stay,” Neil said softly. “I want to stay. I want to be here.”

Andrew turned blank eyes on Neil.

“I want to be here with you,” Neil said quietly, smiling as Andrew’s cheeks turned pink even though his face remained blank.

“Stop saying stupid things,” he told Neil. Neil just shrugged.

 

Being in his lower level was starting to feel alien even though every time he returned he heard his mother yelling at him. But honestly, with Andrew he wasn’t doing anything illegal so that had to be safer than deactivating drug monitoring sensors.

A new model had been released and Neil was trying to learn its parts. The companies were always trying to out smart people like Neil by adding a sort of trip wire that would alert the company that someone was messing with the sensor.

As he ran through the online information, Neil thought about how the sensors were really just the Moriyama’s way to control drug use and profit off the medication people were forced to continue to take. They wanted people using their drugs that they sold. Not what circulated because of people like Neil. Although there was rumor that the Moriyama’s controlled that too.

Neil idly looked into what parts he’d have to buy to recreate the model and practice. As it was, he felt he was getting rusty since he was only taking about half the clients that he normally did.

After a moment of thought, Neil went and took out supplies. He opened the med pack and twirled the scalpel between his fingers. He hadn’t done this in a long time, but there was no other way to practice. So, he tied his arm down and began working one handed, hating how easily the scalpel slid through his flesh.

Neil felt a little better when both arms were healing nicely. Living in the upper ring was like a dream and Neil had to remember to come back to reality. Learning how to actually play Exy didn’t change who Neil really was or what he did to stay alive. Sure there was the thought at the back of his mind where he’d live a quiet life in the safety of Andrew’s house. But he didn’t know how long he’d feel safe. He needed to be doing something and this was what he was good at.

Neil went to the nearly empty kitchen. He started the coffee pot and sat at the flimsy table. He felt torn between two worlds. He’d been taught and told all his life that he didn’t deserve Andrew’s world or life or people like Andrew. Neil was told he belonged with the filth and the trash, buying and stealing to stay alive. He was taught that even if he had money, people couldn’t know because then people would try to take that money.

He had to be anonymous. He had to be invisible. He had to be the no one Andrew kept telling him he was.

It was going to kill him and he was taught to accept that.

And then Andrew offered life.

Neil sighed, drinking the bitter coffee and staring out the window at the cold streets. Maybe he was having some sort of identity crisis. He didn’t want to be there, but with Andrew, who was he?

 

When Neil returned to the condo, he found Andrew in front of the TV. Neil sits on the couch, sinking back into the cushions with a sigh. Andrew looked at him and then his arms. The slices were just faded pink lines by that point. Andrew ran his thumbs over the lines.

“Is this where you tell me I’m better than this?” Neil asked. Andrew looked up at him.

“Do you need me to tell you?” Andrew asked. Neil thought about it. He had his mother clawing at his mind telling him he was made for the lower level. That he wasn’t allowed to have anything other than the bare necessities. That he was to run and be anonymous his entire life. That he was to be alone. There was nothing else out there for him. That he was lucky he could deactivate sensors or he’d be completely useless.

“Yes,” Neil whispered. Although he was unsure if Andrew actually would. Neil twisted the hem of his shirt in his hands. Andrew was watching him. Maybe he wasn’t better than the lower level.

But Andrew reached out, pulling Neil to him and tucking Neil’s face against his neck so that his head was resting on Andrew’s shoulder. Neil exhaled slowly. Andrew ran his hands up Neil’s spine and then slipped them into Neil’s hair.

“You’re worth so much more,” Andrew whispered. His voice was flat and soft, but Neil was surprised that he actually believed Andrew.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support as we near the end of part 1! I call this chapter Neil Needs To Join Fight Club. Enjoy!!
> 
> warning for threats of r*pe

It was time for another set of away games. The Foxes were having a good season and in contention to make it to the playoffs. They hoped to keep the good times rolling through their away games, but rumor was Riko was going to be lurking about to assess the competition. 

The Raven’s were ALWAYS in the playoffs and had won more championships than any other team. Rumors circulated that they weren’t at peak performance with out Kevin on their line. Rumors were that the Foxes were going to unseat the Raven’s this year. Rumors were Riko was not happy. Rumor was he planned to do anything to keep the Foxes and Kevin down. 

All the rumors sent a thrill through Neil. This was the kind of trouble Neil was always told to stay away from. Trouble that included the Moriyama’s, but staying with Andrew and practicing with the Foxes; Neil was right in the middle and ready to throw down.

Andrew told him to stop being stupid and stop listening to stupid rumors. The rumors apparently didn’t bother Kevin either, but the rest of the team was on high alert. Wymack wanted them all accounted for at all times during their roadie. That included Neil. Especially after he overheard Neil talk about the fights he got into in the Lower Level. 

“I’m making sure Andrew keeps you on a short leash,” Wymack said after Neil was changed after practice. 

“Thanks,” Neil said sarcastically as he left. 

It wasn’t that he  _ wanted  _ to get into some kind of fight with Riko Fucking Moriyama, but Neil felt oddly protective of the Foxes. It was like how he felt about his shit apartment. It was still his to protect. Now the Foxes were his home and he felt that he should at least play some role in keeping them safe if he could.

 

“You’ve been twitchy since we landed,” Andrew commented, picking his sandwich apart and giving pieces of it to Neil. They’d picked up food at the stadium to eat in their hotel room while they waited for game time. 

The others had invited them to join for lunch in Dan’s hotel room, but Neil said he’d rather stay with Andrew. Sometimes he could get Andrew to join the others, but not when Andrew wanted to eat. He didn’t like eating in front of the others; Neil and Kevin being the exception. 

“I’m fine,” Neil said unscrewing his water bottle. He was getting better at Exy, but Kevin still threw the ball at Neil when he made lazy mistakes. He was covered in a variety of small bruises that Andrew liked to poke. 

It kind of turned Neil on, but he didn’t say so. 

“You’re a shitty liar,” Andrew said. Neil took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged. If he brought up the rumors again Andrew would probably walk out of the room. He’d already told Neil a thousand times it wasn’t worth it to listen to rumors.

Except that was all Neil did in the Lower Level. That’s how he found supplies and clients and stayed out of serious trouble. It was all about who was talking the loudest and who wasn’t saying anything. It was about easy routes and lies and fake supply drops. It was about how information was collected and sorted.

So Neil  _ knew  _ Riko would show at at least one of their games. He could lurk at all three road games, but Neil felt Riko was more of a public spectacle person. It kept up his image and people would talk more if they were graced with his presence at least once. 

“I can practically read your thoughts,” Andrew grumbled, throwing balled up plastic wrap at Neil. 

“I’m just thinking,” Neil said, trying to decide the perfect opportunity for Riko to strike. If he wanted to rile Kevin then it’d probably be before the game. Through Kevin off with a generous smile and words of missing his teammate. 

Lies and head games. Neil played them in the past. Now he only dealt in lie, well with Andrew he paid with the truth, but everyone else got bold faced lies that they either believed or disregarded. 

Neil wondered how many people Riko had fooled. His family had tricked nearly half the world, so Neil could only guess that everyone took Riko’s word as if it came from god. 

Neil blinked up at Andrew. He didn’t know when Andrew had stood up, but he was now standing between Neil’s knees. 

“Can I touch you?” Andrew asked. 

“Yeah,” Neil said. Andrew took hold of either side of Neil’s face and leaned in close. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Andrew told him. 

“Will you be mad if I am?” Neil asked in a whisper. Andrew shook his hand. 

“No. I’m not your mom. I’m just not going to pick up after you when your mouth makes a mess.”

“You like my mouth,” Neil told him. Andrew’s eyes flashed something like hunger. 

“I hate your mouth,” he said, breath ghosting over Neil’s lips.

“So, shut me up,” Neil challenged. He expected Andrew to kiss him, but instead got Andrew’s fingers in his mouth. He held Andrew’s stare as he wrapped his tongue around Andrew’s fingers. Laving at them, caressing them, loving them. 

Andrew growled, pushing his fingers deeper and Neil took it, holding his gaze steady. He sucked on them before Andrew pushed down on Neil’s tongue forcing him to open his mouth. Andrew’s eyes dropped to Neil’s mouth, open with Neil breathing heavy. He was forcing Neil’s jaw wide as drool started to pool at the corners. Neil tried to keep his breath steady, hands digging into his own thighs. 

Andrew darted forward, licking into Neil’s mouth as he pulled his fingers free. Andrew’s hand twisted into Neil’s hair. The other still held the side of Neil’s face as he kissed roughly and quickly, forcing Neil to keep up as all the blood rushed out of his head and down south. 

Neil groaned when Andrew tugged his hair sharply. Neil felt melty as Andrew curled his tongue around Neil’s while tugging his hair. 

“Touch my hair,” Andrew finally hissed against Neil’s lips and Neil didn’t have to be asked twice. He slid his fingers through the soft strands. He rubbed Andrew’s scalp, scratching lightly. Neil liked the sharp pain of having his hair pulled and Andrew liked the soft petting Neil had grown quite good at. 

Andrew pressed their foreheads together and moved his mouth away to pant against Neil’s face. Neil’s chest heaved as he sucked in air. 

“Don’t let it kill you,” Andrew told him, then moved away and went to the bathroom. Neil stared at the closed bathroom door trying to calm down. His heart was crashing against his ribs and his shorts held a super obvious problem, but Neil lay back on the bed taking deep breaths. He wiped spit off his face with the hem of his shirt.

Game time was soon. 

And he was pretty sure Andrew’s hate for his mouth would kill him before anyone else. 

 

 

=============================================================================================

 

 

Neil sat in the section for visitors VIPs wearing Andrew’s orange sweatshirt. The team was decked out in their white away gear, while Andrew looked like the odd man out dressed in his orange jersey and shorts and court shoes. 

They were running through warm ups and Neil kind of wished he was down there with them. Even if he looked like a complete fool, he enjoyed Exy practices and trying to score on Andrew. It made for great foreplay even though when Neil said that Andrew rolled his eyes and threatened to make Neil walk to the condo. 

Most days they barely made it in the door before Andrew was pushing up against Neil and kissing the life out of him.

Neil was so content with watching the Foxes warm up that he didn’t notice Riko Moriyama take the seat next to him. 

Riko cleared his throat, making Neil turn. He gave Riko a startled look and Riko smiled. Neil immediately shifted into defensive mode. 

“What?” Neil asked. Riko didn’t looked phased. 

“Hello Neil Josten,” he said, obviously using Neil’s name to try and rile him. 

“Hello Riko Moriyama,” Neil echoed. 

“So Neil, I’ve noticed you’ve been enjoying the Fox games as of late,” he said casually. 

“That’s called being a fan Riko. I’m sure you have those,” Neil said. 

“And who are you a fan of Neil?” 

Neil shrugged. “I’m kind of liking this new guy, Kevin Day. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Best Exy player out there. He was totally overshadowed on his old team by some real asshat. Glad he got away before his talent was wasted. I’d hate it if the prick won.”

Riko smiled at Neil. A dangerous smile that was all teeth and bite. Neil smiled back. He was pretty sure Riko wouldn’t haul off and punch him out in the open, but he was ready to hit back if he had to. 

“You know, bad manners should be trained out of dogs early. Before they get in trouble and have to be put down. You’re owner has let your leash be too long.”

“Oh Riko, if you knew me you’d know I only like leashes in the bedroom.”

Riko narrowed his eyes, his smile not faltering. “I’ve looked into you, pet,” he said all venom. 

“I’m honored.”

“You’re speaking above your worth,” Riko said coldly. “Lower Level trash should be licking my boots.”

“Guess I’ve had bad training,” Neil said with a shrug. 

“You think you’re protecting yourself, them, but I’ve already broken Kevin. Your owner might boast protection, but I’ll break him too. Ram that stick up his ass where it belongs. Leave him for the other dogs to fuck. All the ones that listen to me,” Riko whispered to Neil. It felt like ice had been poured down Neil’s spine. He tried not to flinch. 

To mask his anger, he cracked his knuckles. “That’s a lot of talk for someone who lost their most loyal dog,” Neil said. His hands were shaking he wanted to hit Riko so bad. 

“I will take you out Neil Josten,” Riko said. “And then I’ll take Andrew and then I’ll tell Kevin he can come back. And when he does it’ll be even worse because he left me. But I think I’ll have more fun breaking you and Andrew. There’s never been a challenge too big and I already know how to destroy one of you. Lucky me that a simple fuck is all it’ll take to ruin him,” Riko said with a sadistic smile.

Neil felt like he was going to murder Riko then and there. He was nearly vibrating out of his skin he was so angry. Riko stood to go, the first bell sounding. 

“Wow, daddy must not love you or something for you to be this power hungry. How fucking pathetic does one need to get? Crying because you can’t have everything? What a damn shame asshole,” Neil said without thinking. Riko stared a Neil for a moment, but didn’t say anything else. He turned down the stairs and Neil watched him head towards the exit. 

Somehow, he was alive for now. He didn’t know how much Riko had on him, but it wasn’t much if he was threatening to go after Andrew rather than expose Neil or something. Neil looked up at the game. It all looked blurry and Neil felt like he was going to lose it. 

“Neil!” Neil looked over to see Andrew standing below. “Get down here.”

Neil moved without thinking and followed Andrew down the tunnel. They entered the silent locker room and Neil immediately hauled off and punched a locker. His hand vibrated with pain, but he hit it again, splitting his knuckles. Hot tears leaked from his eyes.

“What did Riko say?” Andrew asked. 

“Nothing,” Neil snapped, driving his fist into the metal again. There was a large dent forming and he wanted to ram his head into it. 

“Neil…”

“He threatened you!” Neil roared hitting his head against the locker. He wanted to break Riko’s skinny neck. “Riko Fuckface sat there and told me all the fucked up things he wanted to do to you!!” Neil sobbed. A hand grabbed his hood and yanked him away from the locker. He was face to face with Andrew. 

“But he didn’t threaten you?”

“Only that he’d hurt me and then you,” Neil said sadly. Andrew reached up, wiping Neil’s checks with his gloved hands. 

“He can’t hurt me and he can’t hurt you,” Andrew said softly. 

“He could,” Neil cried. Andrew took his face between both hands. 

“He can’t. I’m sure you told him that,” Andrew said. Neil only shrugged. 

“Don’t lie to me Neil,” Andrew said. “Your mouth in a menace.” 

“I provoked him,” Neil said. 

“I know,” Andrew said.

“I couldn’t help it.”

“I know. I told you I hate your mouth,” Andrew said flatly. Neil felt himself calming down and his hand starting to throb. 

“You love my mouth,” Neil said. 

“Not when it’s going to get you killed,” Andrew said. Neil smiled. 

“Shouldn’t you be playing?”

“I had to make sure you weren’t going to do something stupid.”

“Oh,” Neil said holding up bruised and bloody knuckles. Andrew let go of Neil’s face and took his hand. He kissed each bloody knuckle and then looked up at Neil. His lips were bloody and he held Neil’s gaze as he licked them clean. 

Neil’s knees felt weak.

“Stay in here and don’t be an idiot,” Andrew told him. Neil nodded, feeling tired and still worried. “Trust me,” Andrew said, walking backwards towards the exit into the tunnel.

“I do,” Neil said cradling his hand to his chest. Andrew nodded, bursting out of the doors. They shut with a loud click leaving Neil in the locker room alone. He pulled his hood up and went to wash his hands. 

He did trust Andrew, but Andrew vs Riko? Neil knew enough to know it wouldn’t be a fair fight and that was what worried him the most. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and sweet. Think of it as the bridge to the last two chapters of this fic. Enjoy and thank you for all the love and support!! I can't wait for the ending of this fic and then part 2. It's gonna be great!!

Riko had been absolutely silent since their meeting at the away game, and yet Neil still expected him to jump out from behind any corner. Going into the Lower Level to work made him paranoid in a whole new way. There was nothing out of place, but that’s what worried Neil. Everything went on as normal, but he  _ knew _ Riko was somehow hunting him, waiting to pounce and make his kill.

He worried about Andrew, who told him to stop, but he knew Andrew worried about him. He’d be with a client or preparing for one and receive odd texts from Andrew that demanded immediate and correct response. A common text was ‘I need you to answer this math problem in the next two minutes otherwise I’m coming down there to remind you what a phone is’. 

The odd texts were obviously thinly veiled worries. Andrew would never tell Neil to stop working, but if Neil said he was done with the lower level he knew Andrew wouldn’t be so tight. 

Neil observed the stiff way Andrew walked and the extra stretching he did before a work out or game. His posture was near rigid and the muscles in his back always looked tense and flexed. A number of times Neil almost offered a massage, but knew better. Instead, he suggested fancy baths. Andrew listened twice. 

And while Andrew was tense, Neil was jumpy. He didn’t sleep solidly, which he’d started to do in the safety of the condo. But lately even his phone chiming sent his mind into a state of panic. He was always looking over his shoulder and checking security and locks. He’d bought even more bugs for his shit apartment which felt like a beacon of doom. He half expected every client to be Riko. 

But it didn’t stop him from going down there. Why? Neil wasn’t sure, but he figured it was comfort in routine or him holding on to his old life like some kind of security blanket. Sure he’d taken to Exy like a fish out of water, but he told himself that meant nothing. He was still gutter trash. His skills meant nothing unless they were shoveling cash into his accounts. He pretended that he still needed to be ready to run at any moment. Neil told himself it was harder to hit a moving target, but even that couldn’t convince him to leave Andrew. 

All in all, he was still an idiot and only felt slightly better after crushing the nose of the dumpster hag that tried to get the jump on him. His hand throbbed slightly, but for once he was not the one broken and bleeding. 

Neil headed upstairs feeling rather upbeat. His client would be there in an hour and he was ready to go. The Foxes had a game later and he’d make serve with maybe a few minutes to spare. There were two games left in the season and their playoff spot had been finalized yesterday morning at a press conference. 

Dan had been there to accept the honor of being in the playoffs along with Wymack. She did a brief speech thanking the Foxes for being a solid team that year and Wymack made a comment that even though they’d gotten a spot, that didn’t mean they could blow off their last two games. 

Later that evening, during an interview, Riko was asked about his thoughts on the Foxes making playoffs and Kevin’s ability and potential. Riko kept his comments clipped; saying there always needed to be teams in the bottom slots of the finals round and if they were really worth his attention, they’d sit higher in the ranks. 

He went on to say the focus shouldn’t be on Kevin as he wasn’t the one carrying the team. Andrew Minyard kept the team floating through the entire season and everyone should focus their eyes on him. 

The comment felt like a kick to the nuts to Neil. Andrew had rolled his eyes, lighting up, while Neil rolled the words around in his head over and over. 

The words sat festering until Neil’s thoughts annoyed Andrew enough to shove his tongue in Neil’s mouth. Andrew’s hands gripped Neil tight, holding him still while Andrew kissed him hot and fast. Neil was gasping in minutes, but Andrew barely let him take a breath. 

Neil fisted his hands in Andrew’s hair, pulling the soft strands to keep himself tethered to reality. Andrew kissed him, licking into his mouth and nipping at his lower lip, until Neil was thoroughly hot and bothered and his mind felt pleasantly soupy and his only thoughts were about Andrew’s lips on his jaw and his scalding hands against the bare skin of his stomach.

 

Remembering the kissing set Neil’s insides on fire and made his pants tight. 

He drank bitter, bland coffee to distract himself and ran through client files on his next customer. Another high profile athlete who was sent away because of mood swings and violent tendencies. Although, most of the time Neil noticed, it was a way to cover up player won’t stay in line or follow the rules so we need to control them. 

The cases of that happening were rising at a rather alarming rate and it kind of made Neil sick. But the Moriyama’s had their hand in the drug market too, so really there was no way for them to lose. It was just a battle between the government and the people. As always. Both sides wanted to profit and both sides fought to keep their drugs in the system. 

Neil was kind of a bridge between both worlds. He cut the user off from the government giving them free will to either choose the drugs the people gave him or to walk away clean. 

Neil knew there was a low chance they’d stay clean. Even if they didn’t become addicted to something else, rich people were always in the market for drugs. 

Andrew chose to be sober though. After everything, sobriety was what he wanted. 

And Neil really liked that because he chose it too, to be clean. After everything anyone would expect Neil to remain in a state of drugged bliss, but the truth was that the cloudier his mind felt the more panicked he became. Drugs always lead to danger. 

Neil headed downstairs, smiling as he answered Andrew’s recent text ‘What is the capital of Switzerland?’. Warm ups would be starting and then the last home game. 

‘Bern. I’ll be there for the first serve.’ he texted back and pocketed his phone. He took a seat at his desk and opened his ratty laptop. He’d made some great mods in the last few weeks and was excited to run some new programs on the sensor he worked on later. 

With a knock, Neil shut his laptop and opened the door. 

And his heart sank. 

Four rather tall secret service stood at his door. One stepped forward, removing his sunglasses. “Neil Josten, we have some questions for you and need you to come with us. This can either go smoothly or we can take you by force.”

Neil stared,  wondering if setting off the emergency detonation in his laptop would by him any time to run. 

He didn’t have time for second thoughts though because mere seconds later Neil was bashed on the forehead and everything went dark. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENT TORTURE when it starts I put *** and when it ends there are ***. 
> 
> Next chapter is the last chapter and then part 2. Oh man so much is going to happen in the final chapter. 
> 
> Spoilers in the end notes.

Neil comes around with a throbbing headache, his mouth gagged, and blurry vision. The room is dim and cold. He tries to move only to find his wrists cuffed to the table and his ankles cuffed to the floor. He was only in his boxers. 

Panic bubbled up into him as he jerked on the stool. It just pulled painfully at his joints. On the table, just out of reach, sat his phone and a large selection of knives that gleamed in the pale light. 

It made Neil’s stomach turn and the brands on his body ache.

“Neil Josten,” a voice crackled over a loud speaker making him jerk. “So, glad you could finally join us.” Two people entered the room dressed for surgery. It all looked like some kind of sick dream. “Now, from here you have two options. You text your bitch and tell him you’re running late and we kill you or you send him the address and invite him here to die in your place.”

One person used Neil’s finger to open his phone. Neil struggled, but the other person grabbed his hair and forced him to sit still. Neil saw the time. The game was just starting. 

The person with his phone typed out a simple message. 

‘Running late. Be there soon.’

“So Neil, you either push send of tell us to write another message.”

Neil glared at the door. The room was all sorts of beige. 

“Come on Neil,” the voice over the speaker said sounding bored. This was his burden to bare. He knew it was always going to end like this. He was toeing the line even with an out. He didn’t think he’d get caught so soon, but that was because he’d gotten cocky. Being with Andrew made him feel invincible.

So he pressed send, watching the message connect and go through for Andrew to read and ease his worries. Maybe someone would figure out what happened to Neil one day. They probably wouldn’t, but maybe one day. 

Tears he wouldn’t let fall burned his eyes. He wished he’d been able to say a better goodbye. 

“Thank you for your cooperation, Neil,” the voice said before cutting out.

 

******

 

Neil took a shuddering breath before knives were driven into the backs of his hands to pin them down. He body shook as he screamed into the gag. 

While the pain was familiar, it wasn’t welcomed. 

He breathed through his nose trying to center himself as they snapped his forefinger. Neil trembled as they slowly went finger by finger and finishing with his thumbs. 

Blood welled out of the wounds in the centers of his hands as he pulled against the knives and cuffs. He tried not to, but his body automatically move. He sat there as they sliced and diced his arms and hands all the way to his shoulders. Deep cuts, but never deep enough to kill him. 

At one point, there was only one person in the room. They remained at Neil’s side, sliding the knife into the flesh on his cheek and then down his back, tearing him open. 

Each breath was painful as Neil forced himself to only think about Andrew. He replayed every memory over and over in his mind to block out the pain, the nausea, the anticipation of death. 

He hung his head only to have it pulled up and his face cut into again. Movement sent every open wound burning. If he could just go… let his mind go and be free from his body…

The other person was back. They were speaking words Neil couldn’t hear. His head was dragged back by his hair and heated metal was pushed against his other cheek. Melting flesh had a particular sent that clogged his nose and sent his body into distress. From the angle his head was at he was going to choke to death. 

The metal seared his flesh over and over before they moved down to press it to his broken knuckles; laughing as he roared and jerked. 

_ Andrew. Andrew. Andrew. Andrew.  _ Neil thought desperately and his body was mutilated. They couldn’t get Andrew. Andrew was safe. 

The knives were pulled from his hands and the cuffs undone, only to be manhandled onto the table on his back. Stretched out, the cuffs were replaced and the voice was back on the speaker. Neil ignored it as the room was filled with a new smell, peroxide. 

He went into panic mode again, stretching all the gashes as he twisted in his binds. But bucket after bucket was dumped over his chest setting every wound on fire. 

Neil screamed until he couldn’t anymore. 

The door opened again and a third person entered. He was speaking, but Neil couldn’t hear until he was standing on the table over Neil, knife in hand. 

“Well Neil, I can’t wait to see what your bitch does when I send him lovely photos from tonight.”

Fear rushed through Neil as Riko sat on his hips and pressed the knife to the center of Neil’s chest. 

“I’ve never signed my work, but today felt different. I want everyone to know exactly who took you apart,” Riko said cutting into Neil’s chest. 

It took an eternity even though Neil was sure he’d passed out during it. But then Riko was standing and leaving. “Goodbye Neil,” he said and turned to the others. “Break his bones, go slow, and let death take its course.

 

*****

 

Neil stared at the ceiling. Tears were running free, had been running free. He thought about the first time they kissed. The drag of Andrew’s lips on his and how it had felt like freedom. How it was freedom. 

How it was the best thing Neil had ever felt. The heat, the pull… the way Andrew could just melt everything around him away. 

Away, away… far away…

Neil didn’t believe in an after life, but he hoped that whatever happened, he’d find Andrew again one day…

Neil shut his eyes. 

No, he’d definitely find Andrew again one day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the torture part then just know it was Riko that tortured Neil. The government didn't find him; Riko did.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at long last, at the end of part 1. Thank you to all you lovely readers and those who left kudos and comments! I honestly expected like 1 person to read this and yet it turned into such a big thing! Thank you all and I hope you all stick around for part 2!!

Cracking his eyes open took more effort then Neil had to spare. He stopped with his eyes half open looking into the blurry dark of hell. His entire body felt chained down. His ribs felt broken and like they were piercing his organs with every breath. Hell was supposed to be an eternity of brutal torture. He was pretty sure his hands had been torn off and maybe his legs were gone too. 

He was just a torso left to be flayed and tortured by the devil. Neil wondered what form the demon would take. His father? His mother? Or would Satan present himself as Andrew to only further hurt Neil until the end of time?

Hell didn’t smell like fire and brimstone. It smelled like blood and burnt skin and antiseptic with an underlying hospital smell. 

His lips were dry and cracked and his breath wheezed out of him like wisps of smoke from a chimney. Neil tried to speak multiple times, but the words died on his lips. He wasn’t afraid anymore or sad. He was dead, but he still wanted to call out. He wanted to know if anyone was listening. 

“Am I dead?” Neil finally pushed out of his dry throat. The words scraped his mouth and tongue. He sensed movement around him. The whisper of fabric and the dip of weight settling next to him. Neil was almost certain someone was peering over him. Sneering at his ruined corpse. 

“What have I told you about asking stupid questions?” the familiar voice brought pain to Neil’s chest. So that was how he was to spend eternity then. 

The world around him became firey white and Neil was sure if he had anything left he would have screamed. Instead, he shut his eyes tight against the pain. Something wet was pressed to his lips and where he expected to taste blood, he only tasted water. It was a wet cloth that was held against his mouth that he weakly sucked on. 

The moisture soothed him throat and he sighed. His mind was muddled and hazy and all his energy had been zapped. 

So he went back into blackness.

 

===================================================================

 

The second time, Neil could open his eyes more. It was dark around him and shaped loomed out of the shadows. He couldn’t focus on anything, but there was still no panic in death. 

He tried to turn his head only to have pain shoot across his face. Like claws had burrowed into his flesh and carved up his face. 

Again, the demons peered over him. The way the light caught the demons hair, Neil knew it was wearing Andrew’s face. The demon spoke, but it’s words were jumbled in Neil’s ears. He wanted to push the devil away, but he remembered he didn’t have hands. 

So again he sank into darkness. 

 

====================================================================

 

Neil’s eyes opened fully, taking in the muted surroundings of Andrew’s room. The shadows didn’t move this time and when he turned his head, he only felt the stretch of healing skin. 

But demon Andrew slept next to Neil. Long eyelashes fanned against smooth cheeks. He had obvious bedhead and slept curled in on himself, arms crossed over his chest. Neil wanted to sit up and touch, but he was tied to the bed and hand no hands. 

“Andrew,” he whispered watching amber eyes snap open and turn to him. Andrew sat up in a fluid motion, twisting to crack his back and then collapsing into a slump on his knees. 

“It’s been two weeks,” Andrew said. Neil blinked at him.

“Since what?” Neil asked. Andrew frowned. 

“Since Riko took you,” Andrew told him. 

“Oh.” Neil remembered. The mutilation was at the request of Riko. Death had been a gift from Riko. “He took my hands.”

“What?” Andrew asked. 

“He took my hands and my legs.”

Andrew reached over Neil. He lifted Neil’s right arm, bandaged from elbow to finger tip. “Your hands are right here. Your legs were broken, but nothing too damaging. Moreau promised clean breaks.”

“What?”

“What?” Andrew asked, frowning more. Neil lifted his arms and looked at his bandaged hands. He was sure they’d been taken away. His fingers snapped off and skin melted away. “All your fingers have been reset. All the burns were treated. All the gashes were stitched back together. You were in pieces, but we put you back together.”

Neil looked at Andrew, confused. “But I died. I’m dead.” 

Anger flashed through Andrew’s eyes. “I told you to stop saying that. You are very much alive,” Andrew hissed. 

“But how?”

“Jean Moreau. Before I got that stupid, lying text from you, Moreau texted me from your phone requesting sanctuary in return for keeping you alive until I got there. That’s the good thing about dogs. Once a dog, always a dog. Marseille could pick up the tracks after hacking into the bug on your door.”

“Jean Moreau is here?” Neil asked. 

“For now. I offered safety, but I told him he will have to hold his own. We both kept our promises, but he will be a backliner for the Foxes now. It seems a harsh master can break even the most loyal of servants.”

“Was he with them?”

“Yes. Moreau was responsible for plenty of cuts and breaks that he has paid for.”

Neil felt sick. “And he’s going to be here now?”

“A deal was a deal, Neil,” Andrew said staring intently at Neil. Having someone who’d cut him up so close, worried Neil. It felt like living with his father all over again. Or even his mother. 

Expect he had Andrew at his back. He had Andrew  _ back _ .

Emotion rushed through Neil, bubbling under his skin and making his eyes burn. “I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Neil whispered.

“I’m greedy, Neil. I don’t like when people take my things,” Andrew said reaching out and placing a hot palm on Neil’s bandaged cheek. “No matter what he tried, I can always reach you.”

Neil’s heart ached. “Kiss me?” he asked softly. Andrew leaned down without a second of hesitation. His lips were warm and familiar against Neil’s. He kissed Neil gently, but with intent, like they hadn’t kissed in years. 

The bedroom door banged open and the light flicked on. Andrew made a disgruntled noise, but kept kissing Neil. 

“I suppose you could be giving him mouth to mouth, but based on your previous actions when you thought Neil was dead, I’m going to assume he’s alive,” Wymack said. Andrew sat up, letting Neil see a worn out Wymack who had his arm bandaged. He pulled the desk chair up to the bed and sat down with a sigh. “So, we’ve got Neil alive, all charges against Andrew dropped, neither of our arms broken, Kevin out of his room, the championship lost, a Raven backliner, and a psycho who wants to murder half my team. Is that where we are right now?” Wymack asked looking at Andrew. 

Andrew just stared, looking bored at Wymack. Wymack sighed and looked to Neil.

“A lot of shit went down, so I’m going to cut to the chase. I want you to sign with the Foxes and play. It’s the only way to keep Riko from publicly executing you,” Wymack said scrubbing a hand over his face. “You play and you keep Andrew off his meds and fix whatever they do his sensor and that’s it.”

“What?” Neil asked. 

“The contract is all drawn up. You just need to sign it. Then I’ll let Kevin take over, and don’t worry, he’s got a harsh and extensive rehab routine for you,” Wymack said setting a manila envelope on Neil’s lap. Struggling to sit up, Andrew helped pull Neil up.

The envelope had the Foxes emblem and was addressed to NEIL JOSTEN.

“It’s up to you, but I mean, you’re also kind of out of options,” Wymack said standing up. “I need a choice by tomorrow morning,” he added before leaving. Neil looked at Andrew and then the envelope.

“Get me a pen,” he said to Andrew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


End file.
